please could people read this fanfic and give me feeback? so i can see whether to write another?

I just read it and all i can say is...OME (oh my Edward)!!!! That was amazing!! Really really impresive!! toi NEED TO WRITE plus THINGS FOR ME TO READ PLEASE!!! one quesion....if toi dont mind me asking, how old are you? Again, great job! toi should be very proud! :)