"1. ‘Accidentally’ call him a girl in public.
2. Laugh hysterically every time he says the word ‘what’.
3. Steal all his eyeliner and begin drawing strange pictures all over his walls. When he asks what toi are doing turn your back to him and mutter something about Georg.
4. Sing very loudly and very off-key to any Green jour song he might be playing.
5. At 4:27 in the morning, jump on his lit and scream “The leprechauns are attacking! The leprechauns are attacking! Run for your life!”
6. Rename him Phillip Johnny Bob and refuse to call him par any other name.
7. Give away the ending to any movie he may be watching.
8. Every time he beats toi at a video game claque, smack him with a oreiller and accuse him of cheating.
9. Make fun of his dancing.
10. Tell him he looks like Michael Jackson.
11. Let a rabid monkey loose in his room while he’s asleep.
12. Tell him his voice reminds toi of a dying constipated cow.
13. Tell him I'm SO much cuter than him.
14. Watch the ‘Thriller’ musique video and stare at him with wide, terrified eyes the rest of the day.
15. Make a liste of ways to annoy him.
16. When toi go wake him up in the morning quietly and ask him where bébés come from.
17. Balance a book on your head and follow him around all day.
18. Sing “Dude looks like a lady” at 2:48 AM every morning without fail.
19. Tell him he should hook up with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
20. Put purple Jell-O in his douche head.
21. Put on some sappy chick flick, turn up the volume as loud as it’ll go, and ask him why the boys were so mean to Jennifer.
22. Splash him with water and shout “The power of Christ compels you!”
23. After every sentence he says ask him ‘why?’
24. Make him write a song about monkeys, cheese puffs, and a broken air conditioner and make him perform it at his suivant concert.
25. Before he goes on stage get them to introduce us as the Weather Girls.
26. During an awkward silence loudly point out that he looks like a drunken llama.
27. Scream and claque, smack him on the head every time he says the word ‘guitar’.
28. Ask him if he was ever on the Oprah show.
29. Somehow shove him into a dress and throw him out on the streets for all his fan girls to see.
30. Never let him forget that I am indeed older than him."