How can I get him to be my boyfriend officially?? I'm in l’amour with him...

We have been kinda seeing each other for 9 months,, not dating like in a relationship,, but we both agree that we have deep feelings for each other and we have been intamit he was my first,, but he didnt want to rendez-vous amoureux, date because he didnt want to brake my cœur, coeur and he was going to move,, (he's gone already) we still have contact but i'm afraid he doesnt have feelings anymore for me,, and we made a deal of a 50/50 chance of trying to end up together if the time is right,, but he was really negative about it and a dit the chances was really scarse that we would be together and that i should kind of déplacer on,, and i dont want to,, i only want him,,, please i'm desparate please help me get him officially to be mine