The moral of the story: toi can go from fat and ugly to skinny and hot, become co-captain of the cheerleading squad, learn to be a bitch, win Miss Sweet Valley High and snub a sorority. And toi can do it all in 150 pages.
Robin Wilson’s mother calls Liz begging for her help. She says Robin is going to drop out of school because she thinks she’s so unpopular, but a nomination into Pi Beta Alpha would solve all her worries. She stops herself before actually asking Liz to nominate her. Robin comes over to drop off some livres for Jessica. She totally doesn’t mind...
The moral of the story: It’s okay to act like a total chienne as long as toi have a medical condition from which you’ll recover one jour and not remember any of your bitchiness. All will be forgiven.
The Big Deal: “Welcome home” party at the Wakefields’ and a “pickup party” at Lila’s
Most of the first chapter (part of which is for some reason told from Liz’s perspective, even though she’s in a coma) consists of Jessica blabbering to a comatose Liz about how guilty she feels about what happened, blah, blah, blah. Then Liz wakes up and has turned into Jessica. Jess is...
The moral of the story: No motorcycles! Motorcycles=death!
The Big Deal: Enid’s sweet sixteen party
For some reason Liz is afraid to tell Todd that she isn’t allowed to ride his new motorcycle. For once, Jessica is the voice of reason and tells Liz to just tell him what’s going on. She does and he understands. He offers to talk to Ned and Alice to see about getting the restriction lifted, but they say no. Todd promises them he’ll never let Liz on the bike.
Todd starts giving rides to other girls and Liz gets jealous. She talks to Mr. Collins, naturally, who tells her she needs...
The moral of the story: It’s okay to stay out all night with a boy as long as toi convince someone to cover for you.
The Big Deal: A party after the surfing contest.
Synopsis: Jessica goes to a party at the lake with some guy named Scott and his college friends. He gets drunk and tries to get Jessica to sleep with him, but she fights him off and he gives up. They argue and he won’t give her his car keys. Then he falls asleep. So my question is, why doesn’t she take his keys while he’s sleeping? Instead, she curls up on the floor and goes to sleep herself.
The moral of the story: Don’t go out with rich guys with Porsches.
The Big Deal: Dance contest, party at Ken’s, sorority dance that Bruce won’t let Jessica go to, Bruce’s birthday party
The book opens with a dance contest, ‘cause that’s what kids did in the eighties. Jessica and Winston have to go together because they were crowned king and Queen at the last dance, and Jessica is not happy about Winston stepping on her feet all night. Bruce cuts in and saves Jessica, and she ditches Winston and goes to Ken’s after-dance party with Bruce. Liz keeps squawking at Jessica to...
The moral of the story: If your twin sister is a psychopath, just keep letting her be a psychopath.
The Big Deal: the Phi Epsilon – Pi Beta Alpha dance
The series opens with Jessica staring in the mirror, complaining about how fat and ugly she is. This affords the narrator the opportunity to tell us that Jessica and Elizabeth are, in fact, the most spectacular looking identical twins in the whole world. I feel like throwing up already.
Liz has a major crush on Todd Wilkins and he seems to like her, too. They agree to meet after school one day, but Liz ends up running late. She gets...
The moral of the story: If toi mess with Elizabeth, she will make toi dance with Winston Egbert.
The Big Deal: Some unnamed fall dance at which Jessica gets crowned queen, party at Lila’s
Enid is freaking out. She’s suddenly sure her new boyfriend, Ronnie, is going to break up with her. When Liz asks why, Enid reveals her dark past. Enid used to take drugs (gasp!) and, because this is Sweet Valley, her wild days ended when she and her drug-buddy George went joyriding and hit a kid. Enid and George have been pen pals for the last two years and now George is coming to Sweet Valley...