Skulduggery Pleasant SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT PARODY: MONTGOMERY ON THE SKIFFLE SHIP par MERIT BLANDY (FUNNY)

thefin posted on Jul 23, 2017 at 08:12PM
"Montgomery had arrived at the magical Blooba Dock, with Balcony his beautiful assistant magic babe. "So then Balcony have you ever been on the Skiffle ship before?" "No, I haven't but it sounds really awesome" replied Balcony. "Aye it is".
The two of them boarded the large vessel, that spead out across the Bitch Haven ocean. The ship went through a huge ice field, so the magic dwares on board used their super-fire sorcery to melt the ice as the ship went through. This created a lot of steam, so the visibility on the deck, which is where Balcony was, was very limited.
The whole deck was consumed by the dense steam, that acted as a fog, while the ship went through the waters.
But Bafflement, the evil sorcerer had a legion of evil spikers, that were ready to attack the ship.
Manic Bow, a super samurai friend of Balcony's was also aboard the ship. She was ready for a battle, if one occured. Balcony was standing on the prow, watching as the ice melted, creating the cloud of steam that was obscurring the whole ship.
Bafflement ordered his spikers to climb aboard the ship, under cover of the steam. There were some guards on deck, and the spikers crept up behind them, and stabbed them in the neck, killing them, then dragging their bodies into the fog.

Manic noticed one of the bodies being carried away, and yelled: "We're under attack!!!", then all hell broke loose aboard the ship, with fancy sparks and cries of pain, as all of Balcony's friends were horribly killed, and fell back onto the deck, covering everything in blood. Montgomery was executing spikers all over the place, but kept getting his bones pulled apart, as he was a magical skeleton, and screaming all the time. Balcony got beaten up all over the place, and Manic Bow got her arm and leg torn off, her body cut open, and all her bones smashed, but she didn't die, just lived through it and suferred. Balcony was killing people everywhere, and blood, and body parts, and magic, were flying all over the place....." etc END.

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