Dear Twilight fans,
Edward is a FAIRY.
Sincerely, Logic
-----------------------------------------
Dear push down and twist medicine bottles,
Not every one can multitask.
Sincerely, I.need.my.meds.
-----------------------------------------
Dear teacher,
Why didn't I go to the bathroom during lunch?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO THEN!
Sincerely, Annoyed Student
-----------------------------------------
Dear iPod,
toi fought bravely. But stay out of the laundry suivant time.
Sincerely, Washing Machine
-----------------------------------------
Dear Parents,
I'm starting to realize that when toi send me to my room after
An argument it means toi _______.
A) had no comeback
B) realized I was right
C) both
Sincerely, The Troublemaker
P.S. LET ME OUT OF HERE!
-----------------------------------------
Dear men with receding hair,
Growing extreme amounts of facial hair does not distract
from the fact that toi are loosing hair. Sorry.
Sincerely, Someone who isn't fooled
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mom,
I'm 16 now. Can I PLEASE get a bra
Sincerely, Your Daughter Justin Bieber
-----------------------------------------
Dear person lire this,
You're here because you're actively procrastinating ou avoiding real work, aren't you? It's OK...me too.
Sincerely, I'll work tomorrow
-----------------------------------------
Dear Atheists,
Oh man toi guys are screwed.
Sincerely, God
-----------------------------------------
Dear Buffy
We have a new assignment for you.
His name is Edward.
Sincerely, K
-----------------------------------------
Dear Waldo,
Please return my invisibility manteau ASAP.
Sincerely, H. Potter
-----------------------------------------
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling
-----------------------------------------
Dear Students
I know when you're texting. No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles
Sincerely, Your Teacher
-----------------------------------------
Dear 6,
really. there is no need to fear me. I DIDN'T. EAT. NINE.
Sincerely, 7
-----------------------------------------
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain. No one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sara Palin
-----------------------------------------
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco...
Sincerely, United States
-----------------------------------------
Dear Facebook,
Just wait, one jour they'll abandon toi as well.
Sincerely, Myspace
-----------------------------------------
Dear Math,
Please grow up and solve your own stupid problems! I don't have time for yours AND mine!
Sincerely, Screw the Value of X
-----------------------------------------
Dear Nazis,
toi did WHATTTTT?!??!??!?!?!
I a dit I hate JUICE!
Sincerely, Hitler
-----------------------------------------
Dear Voldemort,
A couple of lies would take care of that.
Sincerely, Pinocchio
-----------------------------------------
Dear God,
Please give us Michael Jackson back, we'll let toi have Justin Biebz!
Sincerely, Anonymous.
-----------------------------------------
Dear Fork,
I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought toi should know that toi have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair.
Sincerely, Spoon
-----------------------------------------
Dear Obama,
I'm really happy for toi and imma let toi finish, but Franklin D Roosevelt had one of the best economic
recoveries of all time. Of all time!
Sincerely, Kanye West
-----------------------------------------
Dear Edward,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, Dracula
-----------------------------------------
Dear Justin Bieber,
roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a water bottle, I'd throw it at you.
Sincerely, Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
Dear MapQuest,
Please add an "avoid ghetto" option.
Sincerely, Scared
-----------------------------------------
Dear CatDog,
Please tell me how toi use the restroom. I have wondered for so long.
Sincerely, a confused fan
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Timberlake,
Sorry, toi cannot bring sexy back without proof of purchase.
Sincerely, Wal-Mart
-----------------------------------------
Dear people who complain about our generation,
Remember who raised us.
Sincerely, your kids
-----------------------------------------
Dear Americans,
We totally agree with toi about illegal immigration. Please allow us to montrer toi to the nearest airport.
Sincerely, Native Americans
-----------------------------------------
Dear Edward,
Only I watch Bella sleep (so i know if she's been bad ou good)! GOT IT??!!
Sincerely, Santa
-----------------------------------------
Dear girls who tormented me in 7th grade because I was smarter than you,
I need toi to work overtime tomorrow.
Sincerely, your boss
-----------------------------------------
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the Kiss too.
Sincerely, Justin Bieber
-----------------------------------------
Dear Noah,
It's ok, we caught the train to Hogwarts instead.
We need no Arcs, The licornes and Dragons
-----------------------------------------
Dear Disney Channel,
What the HECK have toi done with this place?!
Sincerely, Walt
-----------------------------------------
Dear parents,
jasmin was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin capuche, hotte was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cendrillon lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.
It's not our fault, it's how toi raised us!
Sincerely, teenagers everywhere
-----------------------------------------
Dear Miley,
Wow, this is awkward. toi weren't invited...
Sincerely, The USA
-----------------------------------------
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
Please make another book in the Twilight series. My fireplace is running low on fuel.
Sincerely, Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
Dear Avatar,
Pocahontas called, she wants her story line back.
Sincerely, Disney
Dear Stride Gum,
Don't make flavor changing gum. Trust me, I tried it and a girl ended up as a giant blueberry.
Sincerely, Willy Wonka
-----------------------------------------
Dear World,
I think we should seriously consider changing the saying to, 'There are plenty of birds in the sky.' Thoughts?
Sincerely, BP
-----------------------------------------
Dear Facebook,
Congratulations on becoming a verb. Welcome to the club.
Sincerely, Google
-----------------------------------------
Dear Spongebob Squarepants,
You're yellow, toi can't drive, and toi do Karate. toi thought we wouldn't notice?
Sincerely, the Asians
-----------------------------------------
Dear Eve,
If toi doomed the entire human race for an apple... What would toi have done for a Klondike Bar?
Sincerely, Humanity
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mario,
Yea, it's every princess's dream to be rescued par a fat plumber with a weird mustache.
Sincerely, Princess Peach
-----------------------------------------
Dear "ppl hoo tawk lyk dis",
We are coming for you.
Sincerely, The Grammar Nazis
-----------------------------------------
Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too!
Sincerely, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
-----------------------------------------
Dear Girls,
We hate periods too.
Sincerely, Commas
-----------------------------------------
Dear Internet,
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely, I just had a cœur, coeur attack
-----------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
How much for the liste with all the naughty girls on it?
Sincerely, Teenage Boy
-----------------------------------------
Dear Walmart,
Why are toi selling Obama Christmas ornaments? Does this mean toi condone hanging black men from trees?
Sincerely, a confused customer
-----------------------------------------
Dear gangsters,
I would pants you, but it looks like someone beat me to it.
Sincerely, Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
Dear Death,
We'll trade Dobby for Justin Bieber.
Sincerely, the world
-----------------------------------------
Dear Skittles manufacturer,
Clearly someone failed their couleurs of the arc en ciel test.
Sincerely, blue
-----------------------------------------
Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely, Toast
-----------------------------------------
Dear Travelers,
toi won't see Londres and toi won't see France, until we see your underpants!
Sincerely, TSA Officers
-----------------------------------------
Dear Old Navy,
Please stop with the creepy mannequin commercials.
Sincerely, all of America
-----------------------------------------
Dear High School Musical,
Don't let the door hit toi on the way out.
Sincerely, Glee
-----------------------------------------
Dear Edward,
I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
Sincerely, a stake
-----------------------------------------
Dear people who say they're ninja when they catch things after dropping them,
Ninjas don't drop things.
Sincerely, a ninja
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mathematicians,
Here's a hint: X will always equal 10.
Sincerely, The Romans
-----------------------------------------
Dear America,
Please understand that saying all Muslim people are terrorists is like saying all Americans are like the people on Jersey Shore.
Sincerely, Sane People
-----------------------------------------
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a jerk
Sincerely, The Titanic
-----------------------------------------
Dear USA,
Why is it that 25 states allow 1st cousins to marry but only 6 states allow gay marriage?
Sincerely, confused American boy
-----------------------------------------
Dear Pluto,
I still think you're a planet. Don't lose hope.
Sincerely, Me
-----------------------------------------
Dear Sesame Street,
Please go back to the way toi were, when oscar lived in a trash can not a recycling bin, Vegetable monster was Cookie monster, and Bert and Ernie were still on the montrer because everyone thought they were brothers.
Sincerely, Sick of political correctness
-----------------------------------------
Dear Teachers,
If we all failed the test, it doesn't mean that we didn't study; It means you're a terrible teacher.
Sincerely, Students
-----------------------------------------
Dear America,
If all Muslims were terrorists, you'd all be dead par now.
Sincerely, Peaceful Muslims all over the world
-----------------------------------------
Dear Tortoise,
Oh please, I let toi win.
Sincerely, The Hare
-----------------------------------------
Dear Tom,
Just kill Jerry, already! You're embarrassing the rest of us...
Sincerely, chats of the world.
-----------------------------------------
Dear Plumbers of the World,
Its called wearing overalls. How do toi think Mario landed a princess?
Sincerely, Just Say No to Crack
-----------------------------------------
Dear TLC channel,
Your overwhelming obsession and fetish with little people and families with a million kids is sort of freaking people out.
Sincerely, creeped.
-----------------------------------------
Dear final paper,
What time are toi due exactly? I need to plan my crash accordingly.
Sincerely, laptop.
-----------------------------------------
link
Edward is a FAIRY.
Sincerely, Logic
-----------------------------------------
Dear push down and twist medicine bottles,
Not every one can multitask.
Sincerely, I.need.my.meds.
-----------------------------------------
Dear teacher,
Why didn't I go to the bathroom during lunch?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE TO THEN!
Sincerely, Annoyed Student
-----------------------------------------
Dear iPod,
toi fought bravely. But stay out of the laundry suivant time.
Sincerely, Washing Machine
-----------------------------------------
Dear Parents,
I'm starting to realize that when toi send me to my room after
An argument it means toi _______.
A) had no comeback
B) realized I was right
C) both
Sincerely, The Troublemaker
P.S. LET ME OUT OF HERE!
-----------------------------------------
Dear men with receding hair,
Growing extreme amounts of facial hair does not distract
from the fact that toi are loosing hair. Sorry.
Sincerely, Someone who isn't fooled
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mom,
I'm 16 now. Can I PLEASE get a bra
Sincerely, Your Daughter Justin Bieber
-----------------------------------------
Dear person lire this,
You're here because you're actively procrastinating ou avoiding real work, aren't you? It's OK...me too.
Sincerely, I'll work tomorrow
-----------------------------------------
Dear Atheists,
Oh man toi guys are screwed.
Sincerely, God
-----------------------------------------
Dear Buffy
We have a new assignment for you.
His name is Edward.
Sincerely, K
-----------------------------------------
Dear Waldo,
Please return my invisibility manteau ASAP.
Sincerely, H. Potter
-----------------------------------------
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling
-----------------------------------------
Dear Students
I know when you're texting. No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles
Sincerely, Your Teacher
-----------------------------------------
Dear 6,
really. there is no need to fear me. I DIDN'T. EAT. NINE.
Sincerely, 7
-----------------------------------------
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain. No one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sara Palin
-----------------------------------------
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Marco...
Sincerely, United States
-----------------------------------------
Dear Facebook,
Just wait, one jour they'll abandon toi as well.
Sincerely, Myspace
-----------------------------------------
Dear Math,
Please grow up and solve your own stupid problems! I don't have time for yours AND mine!
Sincerely, Screw the Value of X
-----------------------------------------
Dear Nazis,
toi did WHATTTTT?!??!??!?!?!
I a dit I hate JUICE!
Sincerely, Hitler
-----------------------------------------
Dear Voldemort,
A couple of lies would take care of that.
Sincerely, Pinocchio
-----------------------------------------
Dear God,
Please give us Michael Jackson back, we'll let toi have Justin Biebz!
Sincerely, Anonymous.
-----------------------------------------
Dear Fork,
I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought toi should know that toi have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair.
Sincerely, Spoon
-----------------------------------------
Dear Obama,
I'm really happy for toi and imma let toi finish, but Franklin D Roosevelt had one of the best economic
recoveries of all time. Of all time!
Sincerely, Kanye West
-----------------------------------------
Dear Edward,
You're doing it wrong.
Sincerely, Dracula
-----------------------------------------
Dear Justin Bieber,
roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a water bottle, I'd throw it at you.
Sincerely, Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
Dear MapQuest,
Please add an "avoid ghetto" option.
Sincerely, Scared
-----------------------------------------
Dear CatDog,
Please tell me how toi use the restroom. I have wondered for so long.
Sincerely, a confused fan
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Timberlake,
Sorry, toi cannot bring sexy back without proof of purchase.
Sincerely, Wal-Mart
-----------------------------------------
Dear people who complain about our generation,
Remember who raised us.
Sincerely, your kids
-----------------------------------------
Dear Americans,
We totally agree with toi about illegal immigration. Please allow us to montrer toi to the nearest airport.
Sincerely, Native Americans
-----------------------------------------
Dear Edward,
Only I watch Bella sleep (so i know if she's been bad ou good)! GOT IT??!!
Sincerely, Santa
-----------------------------------------
Dear girls who tormented me in 7th grade because I was smarter than you,
I need toi to work overtime tomorrow.
Sincerely, your boss
-----------------------------------------
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the Kiss too.
Sincerely, Justin Bieber
-----------------------------------------
Dear Noah,
It's ok, we caught the train to Hogwarts instead.
We need no Arcs, The licornes and Dragons
-----------------------------------------
Dear Disney Channel,
What the HECK have toi done with this place?!
Sincerely, Walt
-----------------------------------------
Dear parents,
jasmin was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin capuche, hotte was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cendrillon lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.
It's not our fault, it's how toi raised us!
Sincerely, teenagers everywhere
-----------------------------------------
Dear Miley,
Wow, this is awkward. toi weren't invited...
Sincerely, The USA
-----------------------------------------
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
Please make another book in the Twilight series. My fireplace is running low on fuel.
Sincerely, Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
Dear Avatar,
Pocahontas called, she wants her story line back.
Sincerely, Disney
Dear Stride Gum,
Don't make flavor changing gum. Trust me, I tried it and a girl ended up as a giant blueberry.
Sincerely, Willy Wonka
-----------------------------------------
Dear World,
I think we should seriously consider changing the saying to, 'There are plenty of birds in the sky.' Thoughts?
Sincerely, BP
-----------------------------------------
Dear Facebook,
Congratulations on becoming a verb. Welcome to the club.
Sincerely, Google
-----------------------------------------
Dear Spongebob Squarepants,
You're yellow, toi can't drive, and toi do Karate. toi thought we wouldn't notice?
Sincerely, the Asians
-----------------------------------------
Dear Eve,
If toi doomed the entire human race for an apple... What would toi have done for a Klondike Bar?
Sincerely, Humanity
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mario,
Yea, it's every princess's dream to be rescued par a fat plumber with a weird mustache.
Sincerely, Princess Peach
-----------------------------------------
Dear "ppl hoo tawk lyk dis",
We are coming for you.
Sincerely, The Grammar Nazis
-----------------------------------------
Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too!
Sincerely, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
-----------------------------------------
Dear Girls,
We hate periods too.
Sincerely, Commas
-----------------------------------------
Dear Internet,
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely, I just had a cœur, coeur attack
-----------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
How much for the liste with all the naughty girls on it?
Sincerely, Teenage Boy
-----------------------------------------
Dear Walmart,
Why are toi selling Obama Christmas ornaments? Does this mean toi condone hanging black men from trees?
Sincerely, a confused customer
-----------------------------------------
Dear gangsters,
I would pants you, but it looks like someone beat me to it.
Sincerely, Anonymous
-----------------------------------------
Dear Death,
We'll trade Dobby for Justin Bieber.
Sincerely, the world
-----------------------------------------
Dear Skittles manufacturer,
Clearly someone failed their couleurs of the arc en ciel test.
Sincerely, blue
-----------------------------------------
Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely, Toast
-----------------------------------------
Dear Travelers,
toi won't see Londres and toi won't see France, until we see your underpants!
Sincerely, TSA Officers
-----------------------------------------
Dear Old Navy,
Please stop with the creepy mannequin commercials.
Sincerely, all of America
-----------------------------------------
Dear High School Musical,
Don't let the door hit toi on the way out.
Sincerely, Glee
-----------------------------------------
Dear Edward,
I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
Sincerely, a stake
-----------------------------------------
Dear people who say they're ninja when they catch things after dropping them,
Ninjas don't drop things.
Sincerely, a ninja
-----------------------------------------
Dear Mathematicians,
Here's a hint: X will always equal 10.
Sincerely, The Romans
-----------------------------------------
Dear America,
Please understand that saying all Muslim people are terrorists is like saying all Americans are like the people on Jersey Shore.
Sincerely, Sane People
-----------------------------------------
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a jerk
Sincerely, The Titanic
-----------------------------------------
Dear USA,
Why is it that 25 states allow 1st cousins to marry but only 6 states allow gay marriage?
Sincerely, confused American boy
-----------------------------------------
Dear Pluto,
I still think you're a planet. Don't lose hope.
Sincerely, Me
-----------------------------------------
Dear Sesame Street,
Please go back to the way toi were, when oscar lived in a trash can not a recycling bin, Vegetable monster was Cookie monster, and Bert and Ernie were still on the montrer because everyone thought they were brothers.
Sincerely, Sick of political correctness
-----------------------------------------
Dear Teachers,
If we all failed the test, it doesn't mean that we didn't study; It means you're a terrible teacher.
Sincerely, Students
-----------------------------------------
Dear America,
If all Muslims were terrorists, you'd all be dead par now.
Sincerely, Peaceful Muslims all over the world
-----------------------------------------
Dear Tortoise,
Oh please, I let toi win.
Sincerely, The Hare
-----------------------------------------
Dear Tom,
Just kill Jerry, already! You're embarrassing the rest of us...
Sincerely, chats of the world.
-----------------------------------------
Dear Plumbers of the World,
Its called wearing overalls. How do toi think Mario landed a princess?
Sincerely, Just Say No to Crack
-----------------------------------------
Dear TLC channel,
Your overwhelming obsession and fetish with little people and families with a million kids is sort of freaking people out.
Sincerely, creeped.
-----------------------------------------
Dear final paper,
What time are toi due exactly? I need to plan my crash accordingly.
Sincerely, laptop.
-----------------------------------------
link
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do toi want?" "I'm calling to rapporter my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank toi very much for the call, sir." The suivant day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"