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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open par themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call toi Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until toi hear the penny toi dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious par now"

"Do what toi want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain


"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want toi to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, toi moron."

"You're...so manly "means" toi need a shave and toi sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all toi ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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added by blackrose294
added by Ranty-cat
Source: Twitter
added by Riku114
added by iamjune
added by SilentForce
added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
added by tanyya
posted by Nick16
Why did I get divorced????

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do toi mind if I goin to the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling,"SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
posted by TheLefteris24
 Praise Kek!
Praise Kek!
Heed those words Mortals and set yourselves free!

There is no peace, there is PEPE
There is no fear, there is Shadilay(Peace be upon him).
There is no death, there is God Emperor.
There is no weakness, there is the MEMES.

I am the cœur, coeur of darkness.
I know no fear.
But rather I instil it in my enemies.
I am the destroyer of worlds.
I know the power of the MEMES.
I am the feu of hate.

All the universe bows before kek.
I pledge myself to kek.
For I have found true life In the death of SocJus.

Peace is a lie, there is only Kek.
Through passion, I gain salt.
Through Shadilay(Peace be upon him), I gain power.
Through power, I gain Lulz.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The MEMES shall set me free.

Preached par the Enlightened Prophet known as ''The Turbo Syncretist''. The truth has been spoken! Know
T
h
e

C
o
d
e

o
f

K
e
K

Praise Kek !!!!
 KEK WILLS IT!
KEK WILLS IT!
added by Mollymolata
added by shaneoohmac13
(Let's get this out of the way right now. If you're taking this article even remotely seriously, then toi probably aren't as smart as toi think toi are. Enjoy! XD)

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul." -Elder Uchtdorf

The desire to create actual GOOD content though is a completely different story, it'd seem. So get out'cher popcorn, soda, and whatever the hell else humanity gives people nowadays, because I'm about to teach your pathetic lowlifes how to make a good fanpop article! ^_^

(Safety Not Guaranteed o_O)

First off, toi need to think of a good title. Y'know,...
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I l’amour skirts and dresses. They are so pretty. Every woman walks down looking good in them no matter who they are. I could wear any of those dresses and skirts that anyone from kim Kardashian wears to the jupe that older women wear across the street. I would wear one on a daily basis but there is a problem I'm a man.

Men can only wear trousers and shorts, if anyone sees a man in a jupe ou a dress it is considered wierd ou stupid. But is it? A vote i took on this club of 20 people, 75% a dit yes to say that men should wear womens clothes and still be men and I am one of them.

Most people would...
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Is it possible to l’amour someone that doesn’t really exist? Think about it. We do it all the time. A boy in high school sees a pretty girl on the other side of the classroom and imagines taking her to a rock concert. A girl dreams of a romantic picnic with the cute guy that just moved in across the street. These people might exist, but the way we visualize them is almost certainly wrong. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. Then, if we finally get to know these people that we’ve fantasized about, we’re crushed to learn that they are not who we thought they were. Why? Because, quite frankly,...
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added by 3xZ