aléatoire A forum For Mental Health, Depression, Suicide, Anxiety, and Abuse, etc; Both conseil and Rants

Riku114 posted on Jan 13, 2018 at 04:47AM
This is partially thought of by the wall post thing going on earlier that I couldnt be bothered to ask, but I found that a lot of Fanpop users struggle with mental health, depression, and suicidal ideation.

I figured Id make this forum for anyone who wants to be on it and wants support.

If you are having a hard time and are willing to talk about it here for people to see and reply to, please do so.

Mental health and depression is a common thing people go through and being part of a small community with it can always do some good.

However, a few rules

1) Try not to be a dick - even if you hate the person or anything. While I hate the term, it would be best to keep this a "safe space" perse as to keep the environment comfortable, accepting, and safe.

2) Try to be respectful and understanding.

3) If this forum gets out of hand and becomes more toxic than helpful, I will quickly delete this possibly without notice.
last edited on Jan 13, 2018 at 04:48AM

aléatoire 19 réponses

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il y a 9 jours Riku114 said…
I also figured this would be nice after the good few times I have seen people mentioning them considering killing themselves on here.
il y a 9 jours zanhar1 said…
This is a good idea. We need this type of place for people to vent/reach out.
I was actually kind of thinking about something like this. There are so many people on this site who I genuinely care for and its hard hearing that they are struggling. It's awful not being able to do anything; it's like you want to be there for the person but if you post your address and shit you'll get some weirdo (probably me) showing up at your door and raiding your fridge or something. So that's a no go lol. Support is always good.
last edited il y a 9 jours
il y a 9 jours Riku114 said…
Yeah XD I talk about it a lot on my club and all since Im REALLY open about my journey and struggle with mental health and all but I dont mention it enough here.

Honeslty I dont really feel too odd about making this either cos of how surrounded I am by stuff like this and how openly I talk about my own stuff.

I like to kind of think of myself as a bit of an advocate for stuff like this and really prefer to spread the community and support as much as I can.

Cos honestly I had quite a trip with depression, anxiety, OCD, and a good few other things and I am on a REALLY good track to recovery as for the past few months and that good track has really only heightened my will to share more honestly.

Cos success stories do happen, good endings do occur, bad times and bad mental states are NOT permanent and as someone who has had periods where I was highly suicidal (but never actually got to the point of doing it) for a goof like two or three months straight with very like only four days that I only barely thought about it, I kind of like to get it out there that there is always a way whether it can be easily seen or not.

But Ive been dealing with mental health literally since before I could remember and with things getting better against my expectations and beliefs, its just kind of something I feel like both advocating for, supporting, and sharing.
il y a 9 jours Zeppie said…
Nice idea Riku. I might share some bits when I'm on my tablet
il y a 9 jours BlindBandit92 said…
This is a very good idea. Thumbs up.
il y a 9 jours TheLefteris24 said…
That is a nice idea indeed. Provided people are actually willing to open up, a Thread like this could do a lot. Whatever your case might be, you don't lose nothing from sharing. I believe it is pretty clear at this point that most here have their own dealings to go through. I have my own as well. Some that I might already have mentioned and others, not so much. Paying heed to the experiences of others can go a long way. It is just like it got mentioned above. Success stories do happen and a bad mental state is not permanent. That is something that I have come to realize myself through quite a few struggles. The same could be done for others. I'll probably share some from these experiences of mine later as well !!!!
last edited il y a 9 jours
il y a 9 jours BlindBandit92 said…
As much as I think this is a good idea. I won't be sharing issues that bother me on this forum as I feel they are private and I do not want anyone to use it against me. But I do strongly approve of this forum riku.

And thus I won't be here really contributing as I want to make sure I don't contribute to accidentally making this forum toxic and I want this to be an absolute safe place.
last edited il y a 9 jours
il y a 9 jours Riku114 said…
^Coolio. Come by if you ever need anything or need to rant, even though I do know you are the type to keep it more to yourself.
il y a 9 jours BlindBandit92 said…
I appreciate the offer but I won't come by to rant as I am very insensitive sometimes when angry and thus will invalidate my wish to keep it safe. I need to not have any influence on this forum. The second I cuss/etc someone out because I don't keep my cool in a time of weakness is the time I cause this forum to be toxic. I rather deal with it myself (or if I really need help talk to you or other friends) I rather not jeopardize this forum in anyway as I feel this is very important. And when I think something is very important I try my best to abide by my beliefs.
il y a 9 jours zanhar1 said…
NGL a good many of my issues are privet like Blind's and I keep a lot of it to myself save for PM's. But I'm hear to listen. I think if anyone should have made this forum it should have been you, Riku. You seem to have a lot of experience with it first hand and that can help a lot. I kind of just go in with a very vague sense of understanding and hope for the best when trying to help someone; especially IRL because I'm a play it off with humor kind of person. And that's not always what people need.
il y a 9 jours Riku114 said…
^Yeah, a lot of my friends online have issues with mental health and Ive gotten suicide notes before. Plus both my older sisters have / had issues with it - one actually attempted, one almost attempted but was talked out of it by her friend. I am dating someone who held a knife to his chest when it was like... nine. And a few irl friends who have told me their issues. Then theres my own personal experience with all it in my life.

So depression, mental health, anxiety, suicide, abuse, loneliness, bullying, etc are a lot of situations Im wayy too familiar with.

Quite honestly, I dont really care if people actually share it on here, since I know its hard to share stuff publically and all, but if it becomes easier to see the people who are open to hearing people's issues and just to give the idea that people arent alone then my work here has been done.

At the very least, it gives a forum of people who say they are open to listening and perhaps could bring some PMs or discussion going in private at the very least.
last edited il y a 9 jours
il y a 9 jours Riku114 said…
@Blind Alright then. Feel free to keep my inbox in the case you ever need to talk however
il y a 9 jours Mauserfan1910 said…
I want to post a rant. Okay, so I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I would like to think I do a pretty okay job of managing myself, but I also know that a lot of my personality flaws stem from that, and without it then maybe I would be half as perfect as I think I am.
But anyway, disorders really don't get the respect they deserve. It's not at all uncommon for someone with autism, depression, bipolar disorder, and shit like that to just get blown off. "Oh, you're depressed? Well, just be happy and get over it." "You're autistic, well why don't you just get out more and/or try this alternative medicine thing?" Quotes like that are far too common.
But we people with personality disorders, we don't get awareness groups who are trying to change that. Our disorder is reduced to fucking movie plots. "Look at this character, he's the bad guy with psychopathy, that means he's like not human and just an unfeeling beast who only wants to murder." We've all seen movies or books or shit like that. That makes me want to beat the shit out of somebody. It's bad enough that reducing a character down to just a mental disorder without giving a backstory or anything is lazy writing, but to act like people with personality disorders aren't human, or don't have feelings makes me mad enough that I want to murder somebody.
We aren't horror plot devices, we aren't monsters, we aren't bad people, we're different and still want to be accepted.
Mauserfan1910 commented…
I don't mean to say not to use personality disorders in character design, I just mean to say jouer la comédie like a personality disorder = badguy is destructive and hurtful. il y a 9 jours
Zeppie commented…
I don't mind the inclusion of personality disorders in films however I do agree they're plus often than not misinterpreted and played out as being negative and for the 'bad guy'. Like the movie Split. I do actually like that movie. But when toi sit back and look at it, they literally make the dude a monster. A literal monster born from multiple personalities. That's a bit fked when toi give it a seconde thought. il y a 9 jours
Mauserfan1910 commented…
It's not any different from representation of other groups. Including black characters is a good thing, but if toi decided to make all of the black characters violent gangsters, then people start to get the wrong idea on what black people are and that will have a negative impact on the way society vues them. It's the same way for mental disorders, a good writer should strive to make accurate representations on what they write about il y a 8 jours
il y a 9 jours Zeppie said…
I'm going to make my first proper post some advice that helped me personally. I highly recommend it to anyone going through a tough time.

Different things work for different people. Some find therapy works. Some swear by medication. And some might not know what to do. The the only, ONLY, thing that worked for me was exercise and I can't recommend it enough.

If it's in your budget, join a gym. Take advantage of free classes and personal training deals because I know I didn't have the motivation to do it on my own. Exercise can be tailored to suit your needs. I personally can't partake in much cardio because of a health condition so I started lifting and doing bodyweight exercises and I've never felt better in my life. Depending on where you live, if you are seeing a doctor because of mental illness, I believe you can get small funding for ongoing gym payments. A few dollars but it adds up.

I was at a stage where frankly, I thought about killing myself over 100 times a day. It never left my mind. All my mind did while I was going about daily life was notice things around me and think of ways it could be used to aid my suicide. Whenever I drove my mind just automatically thought of scenarios where I'd drive into a pole or drive off a bridge. I couldn't turn it off. It truly drove me insane. I had thoughts occasionally since high school but it didn't really kick in until the full year of 2016.

Therapy was a no-go because I had a bad experience with my therapist that put me off the process (although I wont stop people from using this method, it just didn't work out for me.) I had a severe reaction to medication because of my heart so I couldn't take it. I struggled talking to friends and family. I was stuck, so my parents and brother pitched in to get me a gym membership.

I hated the gym when I started. My anxiety kept screwing me over with all the people there. I was sore for weeks because my muscles weren't used to activity. But eventually, the gym became the one thing that was actually distracting my mind from those thoughts. All I could think about was when the next time would be that I could go to the gym and better my results from my previous training. I could visibly see my progress, I felt stronger physically and in a way made me feel like because I was pushing myself to get physically stronger, I was also getting mentally stronger because of goals and perseverance. It was the first time in far too long where I actually felt proud of myself and that I was finally not being useless.

Focusing on the gym is both a form of distraction, which everyone going through depression needs. But it's also building a healthier body, and in turn, a healthier mind. It's a true dedication game, you need to stick it out for the first months but trust... if you want to better yourself and help your mind, you need to help your body. All those endorphins released from working out is no joke. After time you notice gym regulars, and end up making some friends people of all ages, it's kind of nice. Even just a hello from regulars is a mood booster.

After the gym I started attracting good things in my life because I was feeling better about myself. I felt more confident in my body, I was eating better, I created goals that always get updated to forever distract, people started actually talking to me because I didn't look as sad and unapproachable anymore... I found my incredible partner, I gained the confidence to leave the house outside of the gym (I was agoraphobic for 2016), just started...living life, outside of online.

I know I've typed a bit... but I just hope this idea can help someone. I can't stress the important of exercise regarding mental illness. A healthy body and routine is the foundation for a healthy mind. This might be a somewhat preachy post lol, but I just truly hope people struggling give working out a shot.
Riku114 commented…
I can seconde this. I picked up exercise a lot during one of my harder times and it helped a lot. It was one of my ways of clearing my mind a lot when I needed to escape my house and easily calmed me down. It helps with high anxiety states - at least for me it did. il y a 9 jours
Mauserfan1910 commented…
I agree. I've never set foot in a gym, but working on the ranch is very therapeutic. Some days, I'm fixing fences, others I might be taking care of one of the boys, ou others I might be feeding baby cattle. Still, it's what makes not killing myself a lot easier il y a 8 jours
TheLefteris24 commented…
I agree as well. From personal experience, I find that post to be pretty relatable. It is kinda ironic how exercising is the real break here. I have found it to be pretty relieving compared to the hardships of life but also helping seeing the later from other angles. "A healthy mind in a healthy body" really applies !!!! il y a 8 jours
applebear123 commented…
nice one!!! i really need some effective exercise!! il y a 7 jours
il y a 8 jours applebear123 said…
even the small things depresses me easily! i just get a sudden strong urge to cry then and there but i try my best to control them and try not to cry in front of anyone...... even if i feel someone is rude to me, i get depressed and ends up spoiling my whole day....it just pains a lot....even a small scolding from my family members brings me to tears....
im not exaggerating it......i just cant help it! :(
Mauserfan1910 commented…
You're not alone. That happens to me a lot plus than I would like to admit. il y a 8 jours
applebear123 commented…
thank toi sooo much guysss!!!!! ^^ il y a 4 jours
disnerdtobe commented…
me too. i get really triggered even par super minor things. il y a 4 jours
il y a 5 jours KataraLover said…
I'm starting the new semester of college (I was supposed to have gone yesterday, but there was a snow day yesterday and today) and I'm feeling absolutely overwhelmed with everything! Blackboard (An online thing for college, in case someone doesn't know) is acting weird and won't let me sign on and I have homework that requires me to be on Blackboard for that class in order to get it done. Today I was catching up on some work the teachers gave us so we don't fall too far behind and I didn't have the energy to make myself lunch until about 5:30. I had planned on taking a shower this morning but I didn't because I didn't have the energy or motivation to do it. I had to try and force myself to at least have enough energy to brush my teeth and put on deodorant. I've been needing to send some documents to the place that gives me disability for school and to make an appointment with my therapist that I haven't seen since late summer. I just don't seem to have any energy to make the effort for much of anything and I just get so nervous talking to people and making phone calls.

I keep on realizing that as I keep on living that all the stress in life is never going to end until I am dead. I'm also close to graduating and I don't have a plan to get where I want to go. I want to work at Disney making movies as a writer and director but I don't have enough experience. It took me until last semester to finally have the guts to audition for a play at my college and I didn't get a part. I was so embarrassed that I had absolutely no acting experience to put down on my audition sheet. Because I'm so shy and nervous, I wasted time I could've used auditioning for other plays at my college and it's too late for me to get any experience in that. My only real credit is that I directed a 10-minute play for my directing class.

I have nothing else as a credit to my name for a serious resume, I'm just a nothing with dreams that are too big for me to accomplish, I have no plan on what to do, and I'm going to end up not just being a housekeeper at a hospital (A job that I DESPISE) for the summer but soon for the rest of my life. I might as well have just never even existed and it wouldn't have made an important difference in anyone's life. I don't plan on committing suicide, though I have those thoughts, because my older drug addict brother killed himself in jail. That hurt my family A LOT and I don't wanna put them through that again. But very few people outside of my family would care if I died and if I never existed it wouldn't have made a difference in anyone's life. I'm just so emotional right now and am NOT looking forward to classes tomorrow! I just feel like crawling under my bedsheets and waiting for death.
Riku114 commented…
That sounds absolutely horrible man, my condolences. I have to ask though, have toi looked into getting prescribed medication for your depression? Its often stigmatized, but Ive heard it help a lot of people and anxiety medication has helped my life quite a bit since medication lessens the symptoms of things like anxiety and depression and makes the push to actually get toi out of lit and do things toi otherwise wouldnt be able to find yourself able to do and ultimately help therapy work more. As for about your therapist, I really feel toi there. I recently ended a six mois period of having no therapy and it was horrible so good luck with that and I really do hope toi can get in contact with your therapist again. il y a 5 jours
Riku114 commented…
Also, maybe toi are behind, but I dont feel toi are condemned to working at the hospital, perhaps maybe not your exact dream but perhaps toi could pursue ou create a Plan B? ou perhaps look into and research écriture to get some movement ou work on that. I cant really say much on the topic since Ive never been too much into drama ou anything but I dunno. Also toi could look into interning ou volunteering to build a resume / audition paper that might help toi out more. But dont loose hope. I think toi might still be able to work towards it and even if toi cant, it doesnt mean youll be stuck with the job toi hate il y a 5 jours
zanhar1 commented…
Honestly I can relate to a good lot of this. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna be stuck in retail hell forever. I want to be a published auteur and things like that are hard to achieve. But there are so many people in the same bateau as toi so don't feel like you're worthless. It isn't you; it's hard out there. I guess toi just have to start small toi know? toi might have to try écriture for other places and then work your way up to Disney. Big dreams are never bad to have, they keep toi ready to improve until toi can achieve them. And toi know what; even if toi don't get there, if toi can achieve something along the way, that's still worth while. il y a 3 jours
il y a 5 jours Riku114 said…
Note: I editted the title to be more specific on the things I could easily respond to and that are also common issues for most people. I also added the "etc" because I realized it sounded exclusive to mental health issues not revolving those listed in the title
il y a 4 jours Riku114 said…
I personally find that finding people with similar issues to you to support, talk about, and validate your experiences is one of the most helpful things when it comes to mental health. Having someone else who hasnt experienced it being supportive is nice, but having a HEALTHY friend with a similar experience helps a lot more cos it makes you feel less insane - at least from my experience.

Cause from my experience, Ive felt, on many occasions, I was simply loosing my mind and all the explanations from my therapist sounded like a whole bunch of invalid on-the-spot excuses for my behavior until I came around to have a friend that went through similar stuff and we are just like "SHIT DOOD. YOU TOO?" and it all just seems a lot more acceptable, normal, and managable.
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ I can attest to that. Anyone can give conseil on a matter. Speaking from personal experience has a different kind of influence altogether !!!! il y a 4 jours
il y a 3 jours Riku114 said…
Trying to talk about trauma and be open about it when your brain wont properly accept that such a thing happened is probably one of the shittiest details of it. Personally it doesnt bother me, but the part of me that likes to play as if Ive completely recovered it doesnt like it that I cant directly say that Ive experienced what I did in a very straight and matter of fact way without feeling like Im lying or anything.

In fact, this whole post here was pretty much tailored so that I didnt have to say it otherwise it would all be deleted before I could even get to the enter button tbh.

And trying to pry through the denial is just straight out of the question since that pretty much is asking for an anxiety attack. *scratches head* Ill live honestly and might talk it over with my therapist on Tuesday or whatever.

Mostly also kind of replying to this to keep this forum relatively high up in the forums list.
TheLefteris24 commented…
Talking it over with your therapist seems like the best course of action. Everyone needs their time so no need to force it out right now. There are people willing to hear toi out when toi feel ready. toi know that my boîte mail is always open as well in case toi ever feel the need !!!! il y a 3 jours