aléatoire Club
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posted by Bluekait
Two little boys were playing together. One little boy saw a nut on the ground. Before he could pick it the other boy took it.

The first boy demanded, “Give me the nut. It’s mine. I only saw it first”.

The other boy replied, “It’s mine. I only took it”.

This lead to a quarrel between these two little boys. Just then a tall boy came that way. Upon seeing the quarrel between the boys, he said, “Give me the nut and I’ll settle your quarrel”.

He divisé, split the nut into two parts. He took out the fruit-seed. He gave one half-shell to one boy and the other half-shell to the other. He put the fruit seed into his mouth and said, “This is for settling your quarrel”.

MORAL : When two people quarrel some one else gains.
This test is only for girls, so if toi are a guy, buzz off!
This is a fun test toi can chain mail to with any peeps ou even family. Enjoy! (Won't work on fanpop ou any other site, only used for emails)

P.S please say in commentaires what toi think of it!

FRIEND I don't really know if this test is true ou not but the réponses actually were the same as my personality Well, all i have to say to toi people is, try the test it's actually kinda fun!! 

This is no joke. It works (from experience). 

DO NOT just supprimer this. DO...
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posted by PsychadelicSkye
60 Fun ways to order a pizza

1. If using a touch-tone, press aléatoire numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly...
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posted by robobot14
1.Favorite Color
Red-My tomato
Orange-My carrot
Yellow-My banana
Green-My broccoli
Blue-My taffy
Purple-My grape
Pink-My cotton candy
Black-My jellybean
Brown-My chocolat

2.Favorite Food
Pork chops-Sat on a
Jello-Bounced on a
Pancakes-Stepped on a
Spare ribs-Threw a
Rice-Squeezed a
Spaghetti-Destroyed a
Pudding-Chewed on a
Fries-Grossed out a
Chicken-Scared a

3.Favorite number
1-Bed sheet
3-Table lamp

4.Favorite animal-
Gorilla-Because it was too fluffy
Bunny-Because it was too unorganized
Giraffe-Because it was too silly
Lion-Because it was too stretchy
Alligator-Because it was too beautiful
Sheep-Because it was too acide, sure
Dog-Because it was too bumpy
Cat-Because it was too hyper
Horse-Because it was too dirty

My grain de raisin, raisin stepped on a table, tableau lamp because it was too unorganized!
Application For Permission To rendez-vous amoureux, date My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied par a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical rapporter from your physician.

Date of Birth:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Home Address:

Do toi have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers ou sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

Do toi own ou have access to a van? ____
A truck with...
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OK,everyone.The reason toi were going to explode if toi didn't click this is because we're gonna have a contest!!!WHO CAN POST THE MOST aléatoire VIDEO ou PICTURE???????!!(You could also post commentaires suivant to your picture ou video to describe what's going on,or even captions!Same rules apply below.But toi don't HAVE to post commentaires ou captions suivant to it if toi don't want to.It's completly opitional.)If toi post just a commentaire ou caption and no picture ou video,by the way,it will not count and toi won't have a shot at winning.Sorry!
Here are the rules:
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posted by Sandfire_Paiger
60 questions People Dont Ask Survey from

When's the last time toi ran? - Today in th hallways at school.
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? - Nope.
What are toi dreading right now? - Carrying Crush cans accueil tomorrow.
Do toi celebrate 420? - Celebrate what?
Do toi get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - Nope.
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? - Depends. Who is it and what do they want?
Who last grabbed your ass? - Nobody.
Have toi ever been on your school's track team? - Nope.
Do toi own a pair of Converse? - Yep.
Did toi copy and paste...
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posted by selenagomezfan7
Sel found out the awful news while she attending a concert in L.A., and immediately left to go home.
Selena Gomez's mom Mandy had a miscarriage this weekend. It's really sad news.

A miscarriage means something went wrong with Mandy's pregnancy and she Lost the baby. Selena had officially announced she was going to be a big sister just three weeks earlier.

Sel found out the awful news while she attending a concert in L.A., and immediately left to go home. She canceled some of her upcoming concerts too.

Demi immediately sent a tweet to Selena saying "I l’amour you." Selena's going to need Friends like Demi to get her through this tough time.

Let's hope Selena and her family make it through this difficult time.

Selena Gomez's mom Mandy had a miscarriage this weekend. It's really sad news.
posted by energizerbunny
No stretch marks, no worrying about your diet, toi can get on every ride in carowinds, and other amusement parks

If toi wanna gain a little weight all toi have to do is stuff your face!! Burgers, fries, shakes...Everything!!!

No hating to try on clothes. No getting embarrassed when someone asks toi what your size is ou how much toi weigh. No hating to look at yourself in the mirror

I mean when toi think of women toi think of Petite. Right??

I don't wanna offend someone, curbs are great! And all women are beautiful! But for me as an indivisual, it'd be easier to just be skinny lol
if someone is annoying you, just say "they're not even worth my time."

if someone is making toi upset, just say "look how carless and mean he/she/they are/is."

if someone doesn't believe you, just say "i can't do anything to change your mind."

if someone doesn't like the way toi are, ou they want to change something about you, say "i didn't make myself like this. this is how i was born. take me as i am, ou don't accept me at all."

if someone is bullying toi for "no reason", it's because they like you, ou is jealous of you, ou it's the spirits clashing.
posted by ShiningsTar542
Here's a breakdown of the most searched "real names" on Yahoo! over the past week. Surprisingly!..

1. Martin Sheen real name (Ramon Estevez)

2. Lady Gaga real name (Stefani Germanotta)

3. Triple H real name (Paul Michael Levesque)

4. Meat Loaf real name (Marvin Lee Aday)

5. Nate Dogg real name (Nathaniel Hale)

6. Charlie Sheen real name (Carlos Estevez)

7. rose real name (Alecia Moore)

8. Nicki Minaj real name (Onika Tanya Maraj)

9. Judy Garland real name (Frances Ethel Gumm)

10. Flo Rida real name (Tramar Dillard)

11. Miley Cyrus birth name (Destiny Hope Cyrus)

12. Katy Perry real name (Katheryn Hudson)...
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posted by TheRealSexyKate
Q: Why did the forgetful chicken traverser, croix the road?

A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.

Q: Why did the redneck traverser, croix the road?

A: He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.

Q: Why did the one-handed man traverser, croix the road?

A: To get to the seconde hand shop.

Q: Why did the turkey traverser, croix the road?

A: Because he wasn't a chicken.

Q: Why did the fat turkey traverser, croix the road?

A: To get hit par my car.

Q: Why did the woman traverser, croix the road?

A: I don't know, but where'd she get shoes and what is she doing out of the kitchen?
previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Jenni Peter and Tina were thinking of a way to find out who was trying to wreck their house then all of a sudden there was a noise and it was coming from Tina's room. Tina got mad cause she doesnt let ANYONE besides Peter and Jenni and herself in her room. she was about to stomp over to her room but Jenni stepped in front of her and tried to calm Tina down Peter helped out with trying to calm Tina down as well. Tina sighed calming down after that they all went to Tina's room when they opened the door they were all shocked Tina's cd's were all broken her paintings...
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previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy ours on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some nourriture while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the cuisine and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the cuisine was when Tina got accueil she saw what the cuisine was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their accueil the Teddy ours was hiding in the cuisine cupboard as it chuckled...
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" Once up on a time there was a girl wh hated justin bieber when she met him she didn't notice him. Justin Bieber was really surprised. Justin Bieber camed up to the girl and asked for her wuts ur name.
JB: salut baby, wuts ur name?
the girl was so irritated with him that she couldn't help her self but...
GIRL: f**k away from me
JB: what are u going to do, luv
GIRL: luv?!
the girl kicked him real hard in his private. whwn justin bieber stood up he headed straight for her. she pushed him away on to the road. luckly he walked away before the bus smacked him. she was just about to take out her knife...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for toi toi twit she was only after your money and could have donné a shit about you.

is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...
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posted by BlackSunshine
MDR I found this on the internet.


1. If toi yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, toi would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it)

2. If toi fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's plus like it)

3. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(In my suivant life I want to be a pig)

(How'd they figure this out, and why?)

4. Banging your head against a mur uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still can't get over that pig thing)

(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)

5. Humans...
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posted by twilightgirl2
A fwd I got:

The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words
1.cheese=Maria likes me but cheese fat
2.mushroom=wen all my Friends get in the car, there isn't mushroom
3.shoulder=my friend didn't know how to make a taco so I shoulder
4.texas=my friend always texas me fwds
5.herpes=me and my friend shared a piza, I got my piece and she got herpes
6.july=ju told me ju were going to the store and july to me! !! Julyer!!!!!
7.rectum=I had two cars, but my wife rectum
8.chicken=I was going to tje store with my wife but chicken go par herself
9.wheelchair=we only have one soda but ita ok wheelchair
10.chicken wing=my mom plays the lottery so chicken wing
11.liver=a bully was messing wit my sister and I told him to liver alone
12.bodywash=I wanted to go to the bar but no bodywash my kids
13.budweiser=that woman over there has a nice body, budweiser her face so ugly
posted by invadercalliope
Ok let me tell toi 14 resons how :3
Ok some of these pertend i'm a boy

1)Put your arm around a person toi don't know

2)Then twirl another aléatoire persons hair and ask them if there going to the game tonight
3)Offer them hair
4)tell them about your period last night
5)tell them about the bird and the bees
6)rub your self against the teacher
7)look in to a aléatoire persons eyes and make a very weird face
8)showing your friend your dick
9)come to skool chant the barney song
10)talk to your friend and take off your wig and montrer them your really miley cyrus
11)pick your nose and ask someone if they want a bite
12)rape a aléatoire person
13)start crying in the hall for no reason
posted by Mallory101
1. If toi are right handed, toi will tend to chew your nourriture on your right side. If toi are left handed, toi will tend to chew your nourriture on your left side.

2. If toi stop getting thirsty, toi need to drink plus water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep toi from crying.

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5. The Mercedes-Benz devise is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best ou nothing”.

6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal....
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