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posted by blossomyumyum
Here is a long riddle for toi to think about and actually READ. Who cares how long it is?

I hate my name.
I like my name.
I have a best friend.
My best friend is younger than me.
My best friend is older than me.
I have no friends.
I have too many friends.
I always answer my phone.
I never answer my phone.
I answer my phone most of the time.
I play along with prank callers.
I hate when people don’t reply to my text message/take forever to reply.
I have/had blonde hair.
I have/had brown hair.
I have/had red hair.
I have dyed my hair plus than five times.
I have never dyed my hair.
I hate when people can’t...
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posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits suivant Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have toi tried montrer him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed par funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like toi - very homosexually.
Contributed par funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - poisson Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did toi get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A manchot, pingouin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by Juilet1234
Mittens.
They warm your hands, protect toi from the cold. They're not a bad thing.
But imagine if for your whole life toi wore heavy mittens. If toi dial a phone, try to use a remote control, ou try to play a board game, you're still wearing mittens. Practically everything is much plus difficult.
Right there.
Practically everything is much plus difficult.
Remember that.
Now imagine this.
You're in a room with the TV on full volume. The radio is blaring loud, screeching music. The lights are flickering on and off. Everything toi see is magnified, is a much bigger deal than it normally would...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable par the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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474 Things To Do When You're Bored


- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a lit of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your oreiller X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of...
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posted by tamar20
1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN trophée LOCK OVERUSE trophée LOCK! WHEN toi REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL trophée THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!

2. Don't use any punctuation.

3. Purposely spell things wrong and then get really upset when people don't understand you.

4. Overuse the comma, for example: "today, I, really, had, a, bad, day."

5. Use Sticky trophée Capitalize every other letter.

6. Forget the grammar And when someone asks toi what toi mean just repeat it the exact same way.

7. Capitalize each word This annoys some people very, very much.

8. Use absolutely no vowels.

9. Answer every thing they say...
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posted by smileypop9
Million has 6 zeros
Billion has 9 zeros
Trillion has 12 zeros
Quadrillion has 15 zeros
Quintillion has 18 zeros
Sextillion has 21 zeros
Septillion has 24 zeros
Octillion has 27 zeros
Nonillion has 30 zeros
Decillion has 33 zeros
Undecillion has 36 zeros
Duodecillion has 39 zeros
Tredecillion has 42 zeros
Quattuordecillion has 45 zeros
Quindecillion has 48 zeros
Sexdecillion has 51 zeros
Septendecillion has 54 zeros
Octodecillion has 57 zeros
Novemdecillion has 60 zeros
Vigintillion has 63 zeros
Googol has 100 zeros.
Centillion has 303 zeros (except in Britain, where it has 600 zeros)
Googolplex has a googol of zeros
Gazillion has 86430 zeros
---------------------------
posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As toi can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did toi ever walk in a room and forget why toi walked in? I think that’s how chiens spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Pretend that your bureau is a drum and ur pencils are drum sticks.

2. Randomly hypervenlate out of no where.

3. when ur teacher asks if there are an questains on the testhomework shout out 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO # 10!'

4. break your pencil on purpse in front of them when there talking then get up and sharpen it.

5. If they ask toi to guess theyre age (no they wont) guess 10 years older then u really think.

6. On ur paper write a aléatoire an and someone elses name and write ur name on a smart kids.

7. Talk to people u hate in class constently then when they tell u to stup up say 'they're bugging me!'...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can toi tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The manette, manette de jeu is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her plus attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do toi say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are toi boys all in the same band?
A3: Do toi guys all play for the Green baie Packers?

Q: How do toi make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If toi have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal par conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what toi think."

7. Claim that toi must always wear a bicycle casque as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway toi never take, ou teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from Lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see toi crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person ou kindly...
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posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse pêche, peach was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", pêche, peach told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a Kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. marguerite, daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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posted by nessienjake
I found this on the internet :)

101 Ways To Annoy People
...........................................
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If toi have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours par hooking a caméscope to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in...
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posted by jedigal1990
hello my fellow awsome aléatoire fanpopers,
i'm writting this article to get some things off my chest because lately i have been stressed out and worried all becuase of this spt and i want to see if i'm worried for nothing.
ever since these picks came out with justin and then they were followed par picks about posting twilight and justin stuff on here alot has been going through my mind and some of the commentaires have got me worried i was lire through them and i was really worried that some people thought of me as a mean offensive person and though i usually don't care what people think i really...
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Guy's point of view

(Here's the take on relationships from a guy's POV. NOT MINE)
From a guys point of view:

We don't care if toi talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're Friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting suivant to us, and some aléatoire guy walks into the room
 and toi jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah.

It doesn't help if toi sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
 little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it...
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"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the La Reine des Neiges nourriture doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps toi out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if toi can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies.
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart....
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posted by werewolflover
Yeah,this is the first article I've written,so it probably won't be good.
O.K I have a 7 an old niece and she might not seem evil,but trust me she is.If toi met her you'd think she was a sweet,little angel
Her mom,my sis Heather,got married a few years ago.Well the man she married had 2 kids.Ever since she lived with them,she's been evil.
She tells my mom No
She tells us she hates us.She thinks she's the boss.She hits me and then says I hit her first(i'm old enough to know toi don't hit when toi don't get what toi want)She calls me fat.she can't take a joke and then says im fat and don't "play"because I don't like being outside and hate sports.There's plus but I don't really want to write anymore.Tell me what toi think in commentaires please:)
posted by Seanthehedgehog

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link

Naboo, six months before the events of The Empire Strikes Back.

Human 49: Attention Naboo. Ceci est un message important. La rébellion prévoit une invasion. Ils nous aideront à sortir l'empire de notre planète. (Attention Naboo. This is an important message. The Rebellion is planning an invasion. They will help us push the empire out of our planet.)

Meanwhile, far from Yavin 4, hundreds of Mon Calamari Starships were travelling with blockade runners, Rebel Transports, U-Wings, Y-Wings,...
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