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posted by soutarouful
Why does your cat lick your hair ou face? The first thing a kitten knows is its mother licking. Grooming conveys l’amour and caring.

Why does a cat seek the visitor who doesn't like cats? Ignoring a cat is the opposite of aggressive behavior, so the cat sees this as "cat-friendly" and inviting.

Why does your cat head-butt you? The cat is montrer affection.

Why does your cat rub against you? chats have scent glands on their cheeks and are marking toi as their territory. Same goes for rubbing on furniture.

Why does a cat sometimes clean its fourrure after being petted? Either the cat is getting rid of your smell, ou he is tasting your scent.

Why do chats suck wool ou clothing? Either the cat was weaned too early and the scent of the lanolin reminds him of his mother, ou the cat needs plus fiber in his diet.

Why does a cat walk slowly and avoid eye contact when passing another cat? chats are territorial. When a cat doesn't want to a confrontation, it will make a wide, slow path around the other cat, usually avoiding even looking at it.

Why does a cat scratch outside the litterbox? The cat probably had unpleasant experiences getting his feet soggy ou dirty - clean the box!

Why does a cat purr? Usually because it is content. Some chats will purr when frightened ou in pain.

Why does your cat turn its back on toi after a scolding? Your body language when reprimanding a pet includes staring ou other aggressive behavior. The cat usually responds in a submissive fashion.

Why does your cat bring toi his prey? 1. This is a present.
2. He is trying to teach toi how to catch mice.
3. The cat is bringing prey accueil to where it is sûr, sans danger and he usually eats.
4. The cat is bringing toi fresh food.

Why do some chats put their toys in their water ou nourriture dish? chats see their nourriture area as part of their territory, so they put their favori toys in a "safe" place. Some chats will put away their toys when they're through playing with them.

Why does your cat bite your arm ou cheek and hold on briefly? Think of it as the cat way of kissing.

Why do chats roll on their backs? It's a sign of his complete trust in you, ou he wants to play. If the cat is in heat, it's a form of foreplay. It's also a part of their social standing.

Why do some chats go crazy over catnip, but others ignore it?The response to catnip is the result of a gene; if the cat doesn't have the gene, it cannot react to catnip.

Why does a cat sometimes "sneer" when smelling something? When a cat discovers an interesting, usually intense odor he wants to smell it plus deeply. Called "flehming," it is drawing the odors into the Jacobson's organ, on the roof of its mouth.

Why does a cat hate getting wet? Actually, many chats enjoy water and may enjoy fishing and swimming. But, it has to be on their own terms - not forced.

Why do some chats insist on drinking from a dripping faucet? chats prefer fresh nourriture and water, and running water is appealing for that reason. Water coming out of a faucet is appealing to their sense of sound and sight. Some chats will put their paw into their water dish and "swirl" it around so they can drink "running" water.

Why does a cat hide when it is sick ou dying? Instinct tells a cat to hide where a predator can't find them when in a vulnerable state.

Why does a cat spend so much time grooming? Besides hygiene, grooming helps chats cope with confrontation ou embarassment (if a cat falls off a chair, the first thing he does is nonchalantly wash himself, as though he intended to get down in the first place.)

Why do some chats tip over their water dish, ou take nourriture out of the dish and eat it off the floor? Most chats do not like bowls if the sides touch their whiskers.

Why is a cat able to land on its feet from a fall? When falling, the cat uses its tail to right itself and swivels its body in mid-air, so that it is facing the ground, and lands with its back arched to absorb the shock.

Why does a cat demand attention when you're on the phone? The cat thinks toi are talking to him and is responding to your conversation with him.

Why does a cat scratch the furniture ou a scratching post? The cat is marking its territory (cats have scent glands between their paw pads); or, the cat is removing the outer layer of nail.

Why do chats like crinkly sounds? Crinkly sounds remind the cat of the high-pitched noises of rodents, birds, and crickets. The crinkly sound of a piece of paper ou a paper bag stimulates the cat's "prey response."

Why do chats chew on plants? The herbe might help the cat get rid of fourrure in its stomach, ou that herbe provides fiber ou vitamins and minerals not found in meat.

Why does a cat suddenly bite ou hiss at a person after it's been petted for a while? If a person persists in touching a sensitive area (tail, ears, ou belly), the cat might give a gentle nip to as a way of staying "stop."
Constant meowing: sometimes your cat is just being vocal, but other times it might be signifying a medical problem.

When your cat is laying comfortably somewhere and looks at you, slowly blinking, it means that he ou she is very happy. Some think the blinking is the cat's attempt to say "I l’amour you".

chats strangely l’amour chewing ou licking on plastic. There isn't a known reason for this, but some people say that they l’amour the texture ou taste of plastic.

Teeth chattering when they see birds ou squirrels is sometimes attributed to mimicking birdsong to attract prey ou draw others attention to it.

Urine spraying is the most unpleasant of behaviors in cats. They do it to mark their territory, demonstrate their presense, and advertises sexual availability.

chats generally have about a dozen whiskers in four rows on each upper lip, a few on each cheek, tufts over the eyes and bristles on the chin.

Whiskers may also be found on the cat's inner "wrists", and there are similar hairs which make up the cat's eyebrows.

The Sphynx (a nearly hairless breed) may have full length, short, ou no whiskers at all.

Whiskers (technically called vibrissae) can aid with navigation and sensation.

Whiskers may detect very small shifts in air currents, enabling a cat to know it is near obstructions without actually seeing them.

The upper two rows of whiskers can déplacer independently from the lower two rows for even plus precise measuring.

It is thought that a cat may choose to rely on the whiskers in dim light where fully dilating the pupils would reduce its ability to focus on close objects.

The whiskers also spread out roughly as wide as the cat's body making it able to judge if it can fit through an opening.

Whiskers are also an indication of the cat's attitude: Whiskers point vers l'avant, vers l’avant when the cat is inquisitive and friendly, and lie flat on the face when the cat is being defensive ou aggressive.
Don't cheat! :) DO NOT CHEAT ou IT WON'T WORK AND toi WILL WISH toi HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES! TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK toi OUT. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT'S WORTH A TRY. 1st. Get a PEN and PAPER. 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT toi ACTUALLY KNOW. 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON'T READ AHEAD otherwise toi WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. ~ 2. suivant to the NUMBERS 1 and 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS toi WANT. ~ 3....
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The haut, retour au début six reasons computers must be female:

6. As soon as toi have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command ou File Name" is about as informative as

"If toi don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

As soon as toi make a commitment to one, toi find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.
posted by kitkat709477
1.everyone around toi has an attitude problem
2.your adding chocolat chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything toi say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive toi crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and toi just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to coup de poing someone without a reason
12.if toi start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if toi were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give toi 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so toi know*
posted by HNismyfriend
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary she was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So she asked a Rebelle who only had one feather in his headdress, and his reply was: "Only have one woman: one woman, one feather."

Feeling the first fellow was only joking, she asked another brave. This Rebelle had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women: two women, two feathers."

Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved,...
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posted by MrssBieber320
Ever met that one person that toi just wanna coup de poing in the face , then someohow , toi end up in a relationship with them , toi fall in l’amour , and then watch things crash and burn in your face (and thats not the only thing toi want to burn either (:]) Well if toi still have feelings for that person im gonna help toi get him/her back , note that this may only work for a girl though , cuause guys cant hit us , but we can surelly slap toi guys (: , ohk so toi could first start off par doing q of two simple things
1) light all the stuuf he gave toi on feu ... on his front lawn
2) give them back to...
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If you’re an animal lover, like me, this story might be to much to take. But I can’t believe people can be so cruel. But I believe that when someone abuses a poor defenseless animal, that someone should be donné LIFE in prison without the possibility ou parole.

A Mesa, Arizona man who killed a 6-week-old kitten after a pet python refused to eat it was donné three years of supervised probation on Friday.

Jeremy Tuffly, 29, pleaded guilty May 11 in Maricopa County Superior Court to one count of cruelty to animals, a Class 6 felony, court records show.

The charge followed after Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies learned of a DVD montrer Tuffly repeatedly throwing the kitten at the python in 2002 in an attempt to get the snake to attack it, according to MCSO.

When the python failed to eat the kitten, Tuffly kicked it across the yard, authorities previously said. The kitten then died.
okay here`s some tips for those who dont know how to date.....
1- be always self confident , have some self a steam .
2- be always c00l.
3- turn off ur cellphone during the date...always.
4-be always happy, happy with everything..with ur life.
5- if u really want him as ur bf ou date.....try to be cool ,use the words like: yeah totally,or however....try to be little care less about him... ...lol
6- dont be bushy....stay calm and dont complain alot ....jst a little but not alot....
i cant remember anymore so......ill see u the suivant time.....thank u all for lire this..and plz commentaire ,have all a gr8 day..peace ^_^
posted by tooch
I do not own any of these. If used, please credit teenthings@twitter.com

We all do, say, think ou relate to these, in some way ou another:

-When toi forget someone's name toi wait for someone else to say it so toi don't look like an idiot asking.
-I pick things up with my feet because I'm too lazy to bend down.
-I don't supprimer my texts until it's 99% full.
-I hate when dinner's ready and toi are in the middle of something.
-I still sometimes buy kids meals only for the toy.
-I hate how I look after I cry.
-Saying 'Are toi kidding me?' even though toi know the person isn't.
-Stop pretending like...
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1.we hate it when toi grab our asses!!!(unless we are hoes)

2.when toi cheat,we hate toi and everything that has to do with you

3.dont act like toi understand PMS,because toi dont.So stop jouer la comédie like it.

4.when toi stare at other girls,and we stare at other boys,and toi get all pissed off,you have no reason to speak.So toi may as well stfu.

5.when toi flirt,we flirt back,sometimes when we don't like you.and then we feel bad.So if toi arent sure,dont flirt.

6.If we like a celebritey(ex:Orlando Bloom,Zac Efron,Bill Kaulitz,etc etc.)and we say they are hot,dont act like toi dont care.We want...
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1)Devise a secret code with your Friends then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask questions so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s questions in slow motion 2)Answer questions only with one word
3)Scream aléatoire words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” ou “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer questions in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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posted by Mallory101
 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
179 Ways to Annoy People:


1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If toi have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal par conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what toi think."

7. Claim that toi must always wear a bicycle casque as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone,...
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So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway toi never take, ou teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from Lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see toi crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person ou kindly...
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Like the titre says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My Friends a dit that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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:)
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:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to animé and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley toi remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex toi remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did toi get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have toi know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few secondes later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating toi this way and toi know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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User: Wendigo ou yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome ou disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious ou vile; an action that arouses disgust ou abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with toi at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak toi soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
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posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different rue in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made toi feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of accueil that it always gave me. I also made new Friends immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a banane strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the liste toi have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the banane peel. Bananas like to be wackos and montrer themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if toi are near a slippery...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table, tableau with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the lait carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check ou charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a télévision set in her purse.
"So, do toi always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did toi get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been donné your share !

HE: Will toi come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make toi very happy
SHE: Why? Are toi leaving?

HE: What would toi say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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