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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time toi turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him ou her that you’ve Lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he ou she has anything for body lice.

8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”

9. While arguing with an invisible friend, toi proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.

10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.

11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salade it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.

12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”

13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.

14. Tell the checkout cashier that toi have to hurry, ou your spaceship will leave without you.

15. Tell the checkout bagger that toi knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.

16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.

17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help toi clean the snow from your car.

18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.

19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.

20. Ask a clerk if toi can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.

21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.

22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.

23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”

24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.

25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.

26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.

27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.

28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with toi and activate it every couple of minutes.

29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a minute ago.

30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.

31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of biscuit salé, craquelin would go best with it.

32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”

33. If toi see someone offering samples, keep circling like a requin and snatch snacks at each pass.

34. Invite other customers to rejoindre toi in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.

35. Go up to a dead poisson on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”

36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”

37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.

38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”

39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”

40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told toi to wait in the car!”

41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how toi get the flea to hold still so that toi can put it on him.

42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.

43. Every time toi pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.

44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.

45. As toi pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”

46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”

47. As toi pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.

48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for dîner as toi go through the store.

49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.

50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
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Source: made par SylarNight
posted by KataraLover
As many of toi are aware, I absolutely ADORE Wicked and I'm so excited about the movie adaptation that is just taking FOREVER to be made, even before the pandemic came along. So, like many people, I just keep wanting them to make some casting announcements for the movie already and have been making my own fan-cast for the movie, even making a video of my fan-cast. However, I felt like taking the time to explain my casting choices so everyone knows why I made my choices. I will provide my fan-cast video at the end, so toi can hear the vocal capabilities. Please keep in mind that this is just...
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David Cage, the creator of many famous games of the récent era. A man who is a dit to be one of the most creative minds in gaming right now. And yet, no matter who toi ask, there is only two opinions on this guy. There’s the people who like David Cage and then there are the people who don’t. And I’m one of the people who don’t. Welcome to an episode of Content Cuck. And this is the David Cage and Quantic Dream rant article. I’m here to discuss all the flaws of every Quantic Dream game, yes, all five of them, and talk about the flaws of David Cage, from the self centered behavior to...
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added by ace2000
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added by ace2000
added by tanyya
 Let's fuckin do this
Let's fuckin do this
Well, the first episode has a whopping SEVENTEEN fans now, which is my most populaire article to date, so I guess a lot of toi wanted a sequel. Hope toi guys enjoy, sorry it took so long to happen. XD

"How to compliment a guy."

It's not that hard, just say something nice. Do toi REALLY need conseil from the internet on something so INSANELY simple such as this?

"Fries insulted me!"

You insult humanity, it's a pretty fair trade to me.

"Paul's Empire."

DANCE my minions, DANCE! >:D

"What does astroglide smell like?"

Fresh flowers, unless the lubricant has been used after masturbating, in which case a...
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added by BlindBandit92
So, for no reason whatsoever I decided to make an little thing about how I think each of my favori characters would react to a “modern day” zombie apocalypse. I say modern because some of these characters are from past ou fantaisie time frames.

Regina Mills (Once Upon A Time): I can totally see her being that one person who keeps finding her way down shit creek—and naturally she doesn’t have a paddle either. Basically she’s the one who bad things keep happening to. For instance she’s the one who finds a stellar getaway car and it’s loaded with gas. But naturally, when she needs...
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It was the an 2009, a young couple of nobodies arrived on the scene and one of those nobodies was a man par the name of Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino. I knew when I first saw him that I WASN'T gonna like him and sure enough I didn't. He had a bad reputation from the moment they showed him and it just kept getting worse. Not only that but he's a selfish, self-centered, ego driven guy that cares to much about his abs then he does people. When he signed up for Dancing with the stars It made me hate him even plus because he cared too much about his montrer to even get in a jour of training done. To add even plus fuel to the feu he SHOULD of been sent accueil first but u people saved him for basically no reason whatsoever.
added by taismo723
I made this video, and this is just what would happen when my brother ran across our yard. MDR
video
aléatoire
funny
hilarious
weird
crazy
stupid
added by ppgcowgirl
Source: Tumblr
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Source: tumblr
added by simpleplan
Source: http://becauseofdoctorwho.tumblr.com/
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Source: Animefan66