1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When toi sleep over never boss me around in lit unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If toi don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” ou “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If toi want sex, just ask. (In case toi didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only mannequins are able to wear most of the stuff toi see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes accueil and sees toi in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, ou just plain naked.
12. toi don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank haut, retour au début are fine par us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that toi may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true ou not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting l’amour we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. toi shouldn’t be flattered ou grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually plus when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach toi not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so douche with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) toi on haut, retour au début of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay films with toi but don’t tell our friends.
30. toi can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports films ou “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as toi think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one plus girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced par a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much plus attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. toi can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when toi are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of toi it is because we are proud and want to montrer toi off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether toi want to do it with the lights on ou off.
42. Whip cream and chocolat syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing toi will ever do will entitle toi to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be a dit after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play plus often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only seconde to critiquing our l’amour making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
48. If toi ask us to go shopping toi have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your cul, ass look fat. Your fat cul, ass makes your cul, ass look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When toi sleep over never boss me around in lit unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If toi don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” ou “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If toi want sex, just ask. (In case toi didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only mannequins are able to wear most of the stuff toi see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes accueil and sees toi in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, ou just plain naked.
12. toi don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank haut, retour au début are fine par us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that toi may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true ou not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting l’amour we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. toi shouldn’t be flattered ou grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually plus when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach toi not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so douche with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) toi on haut, retour au début of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay films with toi but don’t tell our friends.
30. toi can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports films ou “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as toi think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one plus girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced par a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much plus attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. toi can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when toi are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of toi it is because we are proud and want to montrer toi off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether toi want to do it with the lights on ou off.
42. Whip cream and chocolat syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing toi will ever do will entitle toi to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be a dit after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play plus often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only seconde to critiquing our l’amour making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
48. If toi ask us to go shopping toi have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your cul, ass look fat. Your fat cul, ass makes your cul, ass look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.