This is my follow-up article to my last one "What's the point?"
Let me start par saying that I have thought long and hard about what toi all had to say regarding my article. And I think it's time I reveal plus of whats going on.
For what seems like forever (actually about 2 years ou so) I have been battling depression. And when I am dealing with my depression, it's not always easy to see the good in this world. I've also thought that maybe some of my depression was brought on par my own self, but other times it may be an actual severe case of it. Because when toi have depression, toi tend to view the world darkly. But anyway...
I don't know if toi are aware of this ou not, but on some of the questions on the aléatoire club, I tend to mention a dog on a few of them. The dog that I mentioned is named Duji (Dew-jee) who is my dog. On 1/13/2013, I Lost him to the outside world. When I think back to that jour (and I do it a lot) I can still remember exactly what was going on the jour before it. I remember what I was doing, what I was thinking and how I felt. The jour before, my mother and I were in town, while my aunt stayed with her grand kids (who were at our house at the time. When we arrived home, we instantly discovered that Duji had been let outside (he was a small, cute lil long-haired chihuahua, so he was an inside dog) and he had ran off--as he always had a habit of doing--and as usual, I panicked. This sorta thing with Duji always happened, so I were kinda "use to it" in a way, but it still worried me. Some guy a dit he found Duji in a puddle, not moving much. He a dit had taken him to the vet, but none of us believed it. He was alive, but in bad shape. Had been attacked par bigger dogs, and we assume he either died of internal injuries ou cœur, coeur attack--possibly both, due to him being old. He was 13 (Over 70 dog years), so he lived a long life.
What's worse is that even before we knew of his injuries, I KNEW what was happening. My world as I had known it was coming to an end, and I couldn't stop it. Hell, later that same night, there I was sitting suivant to Duji while he laid underneath to table, tableau where our big screen TV sat, and I swear I felt it. I knew Duji was dying. I wanted so bad to hug Duji just one last time--just once. But at that time, I knew Duji had those injuries, so I decided not to touch him, out of fear of hurting him. And it's just.... the way Duji looked at me, it was as if he knew what was doing on. I think Duji knew he was dying as well. And so, Duji and I took one last look at each other, with me knowing I'd never see him again. And that was it. That one single moment was the last I'd ever get with him. And the VERY suivant morning--not even 5 min after waking up--reality had smacked me hard in the face. Duji was where I last saw him, laying there underneath the table, eyes wide open, meaning he passed while awake.
The suivant few weeks afterwards was hell. I admit I had some minor depressive moments in my life, but Duji's death is what broken the last straw. I'll tell toi straight up that all I did after his death was stay in my room, laying the bed, with the blinds closed. It got so bad I couldn't stand to look look outside. Outside was bright and beautiful (during the jour of course) but inside--inside me--all I felt was darkness. Darkness was all I saw anymore. And for a long period of time, darkness was all I wanted. In a morbid sense, darkness "comforted" me. Going out into "the light" (outside) just hurt too much. Fast vers l'avant, vers l’avant to now, and I'm doing fair.... as said, my depression comes and goes and even to this day, the pain of the jour stills hurts. I guess that's the point: I'll always miss Duji, that's all there is to it. Now, I know most owner say the same thing about their pets, but Duji truly was special to me. plus special anyone will ever understand. Duji himself was very unique--you couldn't have asked for a plus human-like dog than him. That dog wasn't stupid in anyway. He was smart, fun and the most beautiful dog I've had the chance to bond with. When times were tough, I was thanked God for giving him to me. He gave me strength, he gave me hope. And as I look back, I'm thankful for what Duji did for me.
However, my l’amour for Duji wasn't always there. When I first got him back in 2000 (just a few weeks after he was born), I hated that dog. I used to be soooo mean to that poor baby, and being the dumb 10 an old that I was, I couldn't see the whole picture. I couldn't see why Duji was there, why he was in my life. I just remember wanting him to go away, and leave me alone. But over the years, that hatred I once held transformed into love. It took me several years, but before I knew it, Duji and I were inseparable. I know regret ever being so hostile to my son. In no way did Duji ever deserve that--how could he? He never did crap to me, except help me in ways that I was too blind to see. When he died, it was then I knew just how much we had bonded. While he was alive, I told Duji many times that I would always come back to him. I made a promise to him, and I'll keep it forever. But even to this day, I still don't understand why Duji was there. Will I ever know? Not sure, but I am grateful to God for giving me hope in a cute lil ball of fur.
I don't expect any of toi to understand our, bond at least now toi know one of the reasons for my depression.
Let me start par saying that I have thought long and hard about what toi all had to say regarding my article. And I think it's time I reveal plus of whats going on.
For what seems like forever (actually about 2 years ou so) I have been battling depression. And when I am dealing with my depression, it's not always easy to see the good in this world. I've also thought that maybe some of my depression was brought on par my own self, but other times it may be an actual severe case of it. Because when toi have depression, toi tend to view the world darkly. But anyway...
I don't know if toi are aware of this ou not, but on some of the questions on the aléatoire club, I tend to mention a dog on a few of them. The dog that I mentioned is named Duji (Dew-jee) who is my dog. On 1/13/2013, I Lost him to the outside world. When I think back to that jour (and I do it a lot) I can still remember exactly what was going on the jour before it. I remember what I was doing, what I was thinking and how I felt. The jour before, my mother and I were in town, while my aunt stayed with her grand kids (who were at our house at the time. When we arrived home, we instantly discovered that Duji had been let outside (he was a small, cute lil long-haired chihuahua, so he was an inside dog) and he had ran off--as he always had a habit of doing--and as usual, I panicked. This sorta thing with Duji always happened, so I were kinda "use to it" in a way, but it still worried me. Some guy a dit he found Duji in a puddle, not moving much. He a dit had taken him to the vet, but none of us believed it. He was alive, but in bad shape. Had been attacked par bigger dogs, and we assume he either died of internal injuries ou cœur, coeur attack--possibly both, due to him being old. He was 13 (Over 70 dog years), so he lived a long life.
What's worse is that even before we knew of his injuries, I KNEW what was happening. My world as I had known it was coming to an end, and I couldn't stop it. Hell, later that same night, there I was sitting suivant to Duji while he laid underneath to table, tableau where our big screen TV sat, and I swear I felt it. I knew Duji was dying. I wanted so bad to hug Duji just one last time--just once. But at that time, I knew Duji had those injuries, so I decided not to touch him, out of fear of hurting him. And it's just.... the way Duji looked at me, it was as if he knew what was doing on. I think Duji knew he was dying as well. And so, Duji and I took one last look at each other, with me knowing I'd never see him again. And that was it. That one single moment was the last I'd ever get with him. And the VERY suivant morning--not even 5 min after waking up--reality had smacked me hard in the face. Duji was where I last saw him, laying there underneath the table, eyes wide open, meaning he passed while awake.
The suivant few weeks afterwards was hell. I admit I had some minor depressive moments in my life, but Duji's death is what broken the last straw. I'll tell toi straight up that all I did after his death was stay in my room, laying the bed, with the blinds closed. It got so bad I couldn't stand to look look outside. Outside was bright and beautiful (during the jour of course) but inside--inside me--all I felt was darkness. Darkness was all I saw anymore. And for a long period of time, darkness was all I wanted. In a morbid sense, darkness "comforted" me. Going out into "the light" (outside) just hurt too much. Fast vers l'avant, vers l’avant to now, and I'm doing fair.... as said, my depression comes and goes and even to this day, the pain of the jour stills hurts. I guess that's the point: I'll always miss Duji, that's all there is to it. Now, I know most owner say the same thing about their pets, but Duji truly was special to me. plus special anyone will ever understand. Duji himself was very unique--you couldn't have asked for a plus human-like dog than him. That dog wasn't stupid in anyway. He was smart, fun and the most beautiful dog I've had the chance to bond with. When times were tough, I was thanked God for giving him to me. He gave me strength, he gave me hope. And as I look back, I'm thankful for what Duji did for me.
However, my l’amour for Duji wasn't always there. When I first got him back in 2000 (just a few weeks after he was born), I hated that dog. I used to be soooo mean to that poor baby, and being the dumb 10 an old that I was, I couldn't see the whole picture. I couldn't see why Duji was there, why he was in my life. I just remember wanting him to go away, and leave me alone. But over the years, that hatred I once held transformed into love. It took me several years, but before I knew it, Duji and I were inseparable. I know regret ever being so hostile to my son. In no way did Duji ever deserve that--how could he? He never did crap to me, except help me in ways that I was too blind to see. When he died, it was then I knew just how much we had bonded. While he was alive, I told Duji many times that I would always come back to him. I made a promise to him, and I'll keep it forever. But even to this day, I still don't understand why Duji was there. Will I ever know? Not sure, but I am grateful to God for giving me hope in a cute lil ball of fur.
I don't expect any of toi to understand our, bond at least now toi know one of the reasons for my depression.
~
well, let me tell toi something
did toi forget about the good times we spent?
...
i don't care if toi get online even for 10 minutes just don't disappear forever
....
is that too much to ask?
~
don't give me excuses about being busy
everybody gets busy man, it won't kill toi to find free time for your friends?
it really sucks to be Friends with someone for a long time
then they stop caring...
don't be that person.
titre says it all doesn't it? So lately I have been working on a liste at school and after taking a LOT of candidates, doing some studying, and eating lots of Halloween candy, I have finished it! And I shall soon make an obligatory funny haut, retour au début 15 in this club. Why haut, retour au début 15? WHY NOT!? :DDDDDDD
So yeah look vers l'avant, vers l’avant to this and stay tuned to me if toi don't want to miss this! ^__^ It shouldn't take very long to do this, about 4 hours to give me some time to actually eat and take a douche and stuff like that. See ya! ^_^
(Yeah I was kind of lazy écriture this, not even putting in a picture....But expect much plus on my list!)
So yeah look vers l'avant, vers l’avant to this and stay tuned to me if toi don't want to miss this! ^__^ It shouldn't take very long to do this, about 4 hours to give me some time to actually eat and take a douche and stuff like that. See ya! ^_^
(Yeah I was kind of lazy écriture this, not even putting in a picture....But expect much plus on my list!)
There are many reasons as to why i believe she has earned this title.
1.She fattens her kids TOO Much.
2. She has let her kids get away with WAY too much crap.
3. She has let her daughter(honey boo boo) become a household name.
4. She and her entire family has made America Look Bad.
5. She herself is a BAD example for mothers everywhere.
6. She has let people to believe that being fat is alright.
7. She was once considered for Dancing with the Stars(which in it of itself would of been bad)
8. She had one of the Worst weddings that I have ever seen.
9. She should NOT have allowed her family get a show.
So as u can see she has proven to be the WORST Mother on the face of the earth.
1.She fattens her kids TOO Much.
2. She has let her kids get away with WAY too much crap.
3. She has let her daughter(honey boo boo) become a household name.
4. She and her entire family has made America Look Bad.
5. She herself is a BAD example for mothers everywhere.
6. She has let people to believe that being fat is alright.
7. She was once considered for Dancing with the Stars(which in it of itself would of been bad)
8. She had one of the Worst weddings that I have ever seen.
9. She should NOT have allowed her family get a show.
So as u can see she has proven to be the WORST Mother on the face of the earth.
Dont Read If toi Like JB Cuz I Dont Want To Deal With toi Guys
Justin Your A God Aweful Person. how Dare toi Use The N Word. And Then Sing About If toi Killed A Balck Person toi Will Be Part Of The KKK. Well toi Know What Your Carear May Be Over Now. And Im So Freaking Happy.
toi So Raceist Its Not Even Funny. Just Go Back To Your F*cking Country And Rot. toi Dont Diserve To Be In The USA. Im So Glad That Im Not A fan Of You. toi Cant Sing ou Dance. I Hope toi Go Bankrupt.
And I Know Whats Going To Be suivant He Is Going To Say The Mean Term That Is Push Towards Gay Ppl. And When That Happens I Know Damn Well That The fans Of JB That Are Gay Will Burn All Of Their Posters,T Shirts,Tickit Stubs, And Their CD"s
Justin Your A God Aweful Person. how Dare toi Use The N Word. And Then Sing About If toi Killed A Balck Person toi Will Be Part Of The KKK. Well toi Know What Your Carear May Be Over Now. And Im So Freaking Happy.
toi So Raceist Its Not Even Funny. Just Go Back To Your F*cking Country And Rot. toi Dont Diserve To Be In The USA. Im So Glad That Im Not A fan Of You. toi Cant Sing ou Dance. I Hope toi Go Bankrupt.
And I Know Whats Going To Be suivant He Is Going To Say The Mean Term That Is Push Towards Gay Ppl. And When That Happens I Know Damn Well That The fans Of JB That Are Gay Will Burn All Of Their Posters,T Shirts,Tickit Stubs, And Their CD"s