aléatoire Club
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I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated par you.
I was so Il était une fois par your beauty that I ran into that mur over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime toi passed by, just so I could stare at toi a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Sorry, but toi owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
toi look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
Do toi have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Be unique and different, say yes.
Do toi have a map? I'm getting Lost in your eyes.
Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to toi cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
You're so beautiful that toi made me forget my pickup line.
toi shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
If I had a étoile, star for every time toi brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
toi know you're in l’amour when toi can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
I was wondering if toi had an extra cœur, coeur mine seems to have been stolen
Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me!
There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good toi look.
Me without toi is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
Is there an airport nearby ou is that just my cœur, coeur taking off?
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the jour my children were born, the jour I got married, and the jour that I met you.
Are toi from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
Are toi an interior decorator? When i saw toi the room became beautiful.
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
Baby, if toi were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
toi must be a hell of a thief because toi a volé, étole my cœur, coeur from across the room.
Do toi have a twin sister? Then toi must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
toi look beautiful today, just like every other day.
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
If toi were a booger I'd pick toi first.
Do toi know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I l’amour you.
Excuse me, I think toi have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.
If I were to ask toi out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
If this bar is a meat market, toi must be the prime rib.
Are toi Lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
I'm fighting the urge to make toi the happiest woman on earth tonight.
My l’amour for toi is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
salut baby you're so fine toi make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
I bet toi $20 you're gonna turn me down.
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
Do toi have the time? [Tells toi the time] No, the time to write down my number?
Would toi grab my arm so I can tell my Friends I've been touched par an angel?
Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?
Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
I seem to have Lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Hello are toi married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear toi say "happily".
toi are like a Candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask toi how toi looked!
Did toi clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
How was heaven when toi left it?
Did toi fart, cause toi blew me away.
I don't have a bibliothèque card, but do toi mind if I check toi out?
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
I didn't know that anges could fly so low!
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
toi are so fine, I wish I could plant toi and grow a whole field of you!
Is your last name Gillette? Because toi are the best a man can get.
Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause toi just swept me off my feet.
Excuse me, but toi dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.
Are toi going to Kiss me ou do I have to lie to my diary?
Are toi cold? toi look like toi could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
toi know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
Baby, you're so sweet, toi put Hershey's outta business.
Can I buy toi a drink ou do toi just want the money?
Did the sun come out ou did toi just smile at me?
So there toi are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
Do toi believe in l’amour at first sight, ou should I walk par again?
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when toi have a weak heart.
toi see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if toi think I'M cute.
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
Excuse me, I just noticed toi noticing me and I just wanted to give toi notice that I noticed toi too.
(As she is leaving) salut aren't toi forgetting something? (What?) Me!
Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.
Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When toi fell out of heaven?
I'm sorry, were toi talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
I know lait does a body good, but baby, how much have toi been drinking?
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a accueil run with you.
I'm new in town. Could toi give me directions to your apartment?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.
If toi were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
Was toi father an alien? Because there's nothing else like toi on Earth!
What time do toi have to be back in heaven?
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
[Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this siège taken?
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone a volé, étole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
[Look at her chemise label.] When they say, "What are toi doing?" toi respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm Lost at sea.
toi know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
My name isn't Elmo, but toi can tickle me any time toi want to.
toi be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: toi treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
(Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.
Pinch me. [Why?] You're so fine I must be dreaming.
if I had to choose between breathing ou loving you, I would say "I l’amour you" with my last breath!
Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because toi are soooo sweet!
I'm not trying to impress toi ou anything, but... I'm Batman!
toi must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
toi must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
Do toi know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
When God made you, he was montrer off.
toi must be a Snickers, because toi satisfy me.
Are toi a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because toi are the bomb.
Are toi religious? Cause toi are the réponses to all my prayers.
You're like a dictionary, toi add meaning to my life!
Baby, toi are so fine I could put toi on a plate and sop toi up with a biscuit.
Is there a arc en ciel today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
toi remind me of a magnet, because toi sure are attracting me over here!
Hey, is it just me, ou are we destined to be married?
Hello. Are toi taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will toi Kiss it and make it better?
Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle
I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right suivant to me.
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of toi wrapped up in it.
If I could reach out and hold a étoile, star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
(Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at toi with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
How much does a polar ours weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).
Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that toi l’amour me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
Should I smile because we are friends, ou cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
salut baby. toi got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.
Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do toi pick 'Do toi come here often?', 'What's your sign?', ou 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
(hold out hand) Would toi hold this for me while I go for a walk?
This time suivant an let’s be laughing together.
Didn't I see toi on the cover of Vogue?
Excuse me, I don't want toi to think I'm ridiculous ou anything, but toi are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
Have toi always been this cute, ou did toi have to work at it?
salut baby, toi must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, toi turn me on!
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
Was your father a mechanic? Then how did toi get such a finely tuned body?
I have had a really bad jour and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would toi smile for me?
I hope toi know CPR, cuz toi take my breath away!
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
Apart from being sexy, what do toi do for a living?
If I told toi that toi had a great body, would toi hold it against me?
I sneezed because God blessed me with you.
Is it hot in here ou is it just you?
Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and toi are...gorgeous!
So, what do toi do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
Were toi arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Wow! Are those real?
Ya know, toi look really hot! toi must be real reason for global warming.
toi are the reason men fall in love.
toi know the plus I drink, the prettier toi get!
toi know, I would die happy if I saw toi naked just once!
toi know, toi might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
toi look like my third wife. [how many time have toi been married?] Twice.
toi make me melt like hot truquer, fudge on a sundae.
toi should be someone's wife.
Were toi in Boy Scouts? Because toi sure have tied my cœur, coeur in a knot.
Are toi as beautiful on the inside as toi are on the outside?
I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
Babe! toi look so fine I could drink your bath water!
You're so hot toi would make the devil sweat.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
Excuse me.....Hi, i'm écriture a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
If god made any thing better than toi he keep it for him self.
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, toi turn me on!
Hey, how did toi do that? (What?) Look so good?
Damn girl, toi have plus curves than a race track.
If toi stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, toi would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
If God made anything plus pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
toi are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
toi look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
Are toi a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
toi are so beautiful that toi give the sun a reason to shine.
Do toi want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
Do toi bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
Your cul, ass is so nice that it is a shame that toi have to sit on it.
Someone should call the police, because toi just a volé, étole my heart!
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. toi are on fire.
Baby, you're so hot, toi make the equator look like the north pole.
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... toi just look hot to me.
I just got dumped, and I think that toi could make me feel better.
(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
toi are a 9 - you'd be a perfect 10 if toi were with me.
Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
You're so hot, I bet toi could light a candle at 10 paces.
My buddies over there a dit that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
salut baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
This isn't a bière belly, It'a a fuel tank for a l’amour machine.
I don't know you, but I think I l’amour toi already.
toi know I'd like to invite toi over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
Here's the key to my house, my car... and my heart.
if we shared a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)
Is your name Summer? 'Cause toi are as hot as hell.
If I had to choose between one night with toi ou winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
Do toi have any sunscreen? 'Cause toi are burning me up!
See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.
Stare at girl . ("What're toi staring at?")
You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.
You're hotter than donut grease.
Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
Are your parents retarded, 'cause toi sure are special.
If toi could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth plus than Fort Knox.
I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
If toi were a steak toi would be well done.
It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] 'Cuz baby, toi rock me like a hurricane!
Can toi pull this heart-shaped Arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
On The Phone
She/He says: "Hold on"
toi Say: "Sorry, I can't hold on... I've already fallen for you."
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell toi that he needs my cœur, coeur back.
1: What eye color do toi find sexiest?

2: White, milk, ou dark chocolat mocha?

3: If toi could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

4: Did toi grow up in a small ou big town? Did toi like it?

5: Your favori adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

7: Most embarrassing moment from your
elementary school years?

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

10: Pirates ou ninjas? Why?

11: Have toi ever climbed a arbre plus than...
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posted by cute20k
1. Dial a aléatoire number and confuse the person who réponses par saying things like;
"Why did toi call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up aléatoire statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a aléatoire article like this.

4. At walmart ou somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, ou a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with...
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Alaczar (Spanish: Fortress)
Anti-Matter Man
Aqualung (guy with frog powers)
Axe (a brick with an axe)

Baron K
Billy Blue Blazes (a speedster)
Bird of Prey
Black Adept
Black faucon (Brick/Martial Artist)
Black Light
Black loup
Blade Song
Blast Off
Bloodstone (a magic-based mentalist with a crystal...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes toi so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told toi to be yourself simply couldn’t have donné toi worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t toi have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let toi mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are toi always this stupid ou are toi making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like toi before – but I had to pay an admission.

If toi took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d l’amour to help toi out…now, which way did toi come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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added by MeiMisty
added by 27-5
added by McDreamyluva
1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers toi know.
12.Strangers toi don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to supprimer above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
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1. Do toi like pie?

2. Are you, ou have toi ever been a squirrel?

3. Are toi afraid of Pancakes?

4. Are toi a people person ou a person people?

5. How many months are in a watermelon?

6. Have toi ever wondered what it would be like if toi were an apple?

7. Have toi ever wanted to know if your best friend was a Nazi, too?

8. Can toi get me a soda?

9. Why is water so dry?

10. Have toi ever wanted to be and Illegal Alien from Outer Mexico? (No offense to Mexicans)

11. Are people actually rabid horses?

12. Have toi ever eaten the ear of a snake?

13. Do toi have a sword handy?

14. Do toi like pie?

15. Am I weird...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary Friends that toi talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the four on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add...
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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my liste of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let toi know now i got alot of these from the Youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything ou eating anything toi might spit it ou something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the balai, genêt à balais late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the baie they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome Friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time toi read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though toi may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't l’amour you, my love.

I loved toi with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Tell her that theres a robber outside and point to a guy in black.

2. Say its snowing and repeat it 3 times. Then, say mom are toi listening? 15 times.

3. Ask her, "Do toi like me?" over and over

4. Tell your phone to die.

5. Don't blow your nose when shes asks toi to.

6. Make weird faces when she asks toi to get off your PC.

7. Whine to her about your PC/laptop.

8. Call your mom about her day.

9. Break something that your mother brought you.

10. If somebody's at the door, and your accueil alone, answer it.

11. Call your mother, father.

12. Call your mom for no reason.

13. When its a night before your...
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added by Avatarzan
Source: giant skeletons
1.Try to climb through all the rooms in your accueil without touching the floor
2.Find undiscovered tribes using Google Earth
3.Shave your pets
4.Knock down all the interior walls of your home, creating one large empty space. Once done, sit in the middle of the giant room and contemplate your life
5.Start a free blog on WordPress ou Blogger and tell the world about all your weird and dirty secrets
6.Email an ex girlfriend ou boyfriend and apologize for hurting them even though it’s a complete lie (just do it for shits and giggles)
7.Read a book. Use your time to learn something, for God’s...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar toi grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something ou someone

3. Go up to a aléatoire person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki aléatoire noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fontaine run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to toi in public about the...
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1. Prank call your best friend.

2. Run around the neighborhood screaming, "I l’amour GAY PEOPLE!"

3. Ask your parents when they first had sex.

3. Pour mayo, ketchup, vinegar, and sugar and into a cup and drink the contents.

4. Sing the first song that comes to your head in your loudest voice.

5. Scream and say, "My water bottle broke!" (I did this and many people heard it as "my water broke lol)

6. Ask your crush out then dump him/her 5 mins later.

7. Whenever someone tries to explain something to toi say, "Why don't toi speak plus clearly?"

8. Run around the house in your underwear. (Recommended...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask toi say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing chemise sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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