posted by PsychadelicSkye
60 Fun ways to order a pizza
1. If using a touch-tone, press aléatoire numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
8. Tell them to put the crust on haut, retour au début this time.
9. Sing the order to the tune of your favori song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.
10. Do not name the toppings toi want. Rather, spell them out.
11. Put an extra edge in your voice when toi say "crazy bread."
12. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
13. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
15. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
16. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if toi would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
17. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer toi up.
18. Change your accent every three seconds.
19. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation toi are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
20. Start your order with "I'd like. . .". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't."
21. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
22. Rent a pizza.
23. Ask if toi get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
24. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
25. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
26. déplacer the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as toi speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the haut, retour au début of your lungs.
27. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
28. Imitate the order taker's voice.
29. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
30. When they say, "What would toi like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, toi mean now."
31. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so toi can surprise him/her.
32. Ask to see a menu.
33. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
35. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
36. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"
37. Ask what the pizza place's phone number is. Hang up, and call again.
38. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
39. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
40. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
41. Start the conversation with "My Call to pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!"
42. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
43. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
44. Be vague in your order.
45. When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little plus OOMPH this time."
46. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 secondes throughout the order.
47. Start the conversation par reciting today's rendez-vous amoureux, date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
48. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
49. Put them on hold.
50. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
51. Make the first topping toi order mushrooms. Make the last thing toi say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
52. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
53. When you're donné the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
54. Order term life insurance.
55. When they say, "Will that be all?"--snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"
56. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
57. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
58. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."
59. Order a steamed pizza.
60. If any of the above practices are rejected par the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."