1. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
2. "If Barbie is so popular, why do toi have to buy her friends?"
3. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," (Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes)
4. "There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. " (Benjamin Spock)
5. "Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." (Kathy Lette)
6. ""Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" (Homer Simspon)
7. "I think the worst time to have a cœur, coeur attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake cœur, coeur attack." (Demetri Martin)
8. "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order." (Brian Pickrell)
9. "Me and toi is friends. toi smile... I smile. toi hurt... I hurt. toi cry... I cry. toi jump off bridge... I gonna miss your emails."
10. "'No comment' is a comment."
11. If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching télévision par candlelight. (George Gobal)
12. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
13. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell toi why it isn't.
14. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
15. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
16. I l’amour deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
17. Last night, I lay in lit looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
18. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
19. Anyone who says "Easy as taking Candy from a baby" has never tried it.
20. This isn't a classroom. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
21. On average, people fear spiders plus than they do death.