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Can i get someone's opinion PLEASE

Okay I've written a story but can someone tell em if they like the story line.
A girl is donné a collier par a gypsy while travelling with her family, and they find a stray dog. While driving her family has a car crash. She and the dog survive. She is taken to the hospital and while there she dicovers she can read minds and travel to a differnt world in her sleep. She figures out the collier is helping her with this....jeez that was a long explanation. If toi want a better idea, some of it is posté on here under the name Alyria. Okay I'm going to stop talking now =)
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IF toi want to read it just type in Alyria in the chercher box and it should come up
Free_Spirit posted il y a plus d’un an
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It's not something I'm particularly interested in, however, toi have a good story on your hands. Work on your grammar, and toi may have plus potential than toi could imagine. Add some plus detail, it's very vaguely described in your intro, and the story's a bit hard to grasp the concept without rereading.
j1edwardcullen7 posted il y a plus d’un an
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cool thanks for the critism, alot of people don't give critism afraid of hurting people. And we might run into a few grammar problems =)
Free_Spirit posted il y a plus d’un an
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oh and I'll also desrcibe it plus for people. Thanks
Free_Spirit posted il y a plus d’un an
 Free_Spirit posted il y a plus d’un an
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aléatoire Réponses

lilred96 said:
yeah sure i would l’amour too read plus but can toi send me a link to the first chap?
 select as best answer
posted il y a plus d’un an 
sweet_n_silly said:
i think it sounds pretty good
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
Aisuanime said:
Sounds good, and unique.
Post the question on the écriture club and a lot of people would view and answer X)
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
j1edwardcullen7 said:
My answer's a commentaire ^.
Mine's similar. It's about a girl who died twice and is now like the grim reaper, where she claims lives in her sleep, par becoming the person - and doesn't know how to control it. :D
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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cool can i have a link to your story?
lilred96 posted il y a plus d’un an
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