i really need some help .

okay so here is the situation at the moment ,

im accueil alone , and my sisters at the store . And my mom and dad are ... well ... dead .

and im sitting on my lit with a razor in my left hand , and my phone in my other .

I have stopped self-harming for a while , but i shortly attempted suicide a few weeks il y a .
I want to cut agian , and maybe even worse then that .
im telling toi this because , i know that it would be stupid of me too take my own life .
But at the moment it seems like the only thing that can take the pain away .
i am just miserable with where i am .
i need help
now
no one would care if i did it , my Friends do ' nt listen to me when i try to tell them , my sister could care less and my teachers think im lying ( if only ) and my class mates think i do it for attention , which frustates me , i would never want to feel this way ever , the feeling that no one cares , the feeling that toi as a human are not good enough to live , and that the only way to take the pain away is too leave this planet .
and I just need help .
i do ' nt want one of those speeches that it will get better , ou that people really do care , because they do ' nt trust me /
and it will never get better , i will never get prettier , ou smarter , and i will always stay the same summer .
i have tried my whole 17 years of living stopping people from doing this , and wanting every one to be proud of their flaws and scars .
so im sorry if i sound like a woos , ou a loser , ou pathetic , ou just doing this for attention , and if thats what toi think , cool , toi can send me some hate , becuase thats just what i need right now .
and i will never be proud of my scars , it shows weakness , and it shows that i have doubted my self and that i didnt care about my self .
i just need some one too tell me why not?
what is it worth not to . no one cares any way .