What do toi think of my poem?

Standing in self-hatred,
drowning in my tears,
looking back on my life,
what I've been through the past 18 years.
Living in my sister's shadow,
everything I do and say,
wishing somehow things would change,
prayong for a way out.
Same old shit just another day,
living this evil life that was created just for me.
Starving for love, affection, and attention,
I know none of this os how it's really supposed to be.
I try to be strong,
even though I feel so weak,
feel like just giving up,
but I can't accept defeat.
Pretending like I'm always happy,
although I'm never really okay.
Waiting for the end,
the pain I feel everyday.
It's hard to say what's wrong,
when nothing goes right.
Hard to keep myself going,
when I've been blinded par darkness.
This pain is never ending,
it just goes on and on and on.
It's all so unbelivably real,
I just wish it all was gone.
Trying to pick myself up,
when I've fallen so far and hard.
But I don't know where I'm going,
it's all so very dark.
My cœur, coeur is weak, my emotions sore,
I do my best to never let it show.
But deep down inside I feel like I'm dying,
and nobody knows.
A lot of fucked up thoughts,
run through my head constantly.
I just wish I didn't live,
this life is misery!