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What's the best joke toi know?

 kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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United86 said:
DIVORCE LETTER

Dear Wife:

I'm écriture toi this letter to tell toi that I'm leaving toi forever. I've been a good man to toi for seven years and I have nothing to montrer for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that toi quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, toi came accueil and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,had cooked your favori meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. toi ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. toi don't tell me toi l’amour me anymore;
toi don't want sex ou anything that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me ou toi don't l’amour me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER Carla and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

______________________________________…
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my jour plus than receiving your letter.
It's true that toi and I have been married for seven years, although
a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so
much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when toi got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if toi can't say something nice, I
didn't comment. And when toi cooked my favori meal, toi must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from toi because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty do llars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved toi and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But then I got accueil toi were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope toi have the
fulfilling life toi always wanted. My lawyer a dit that the letter
toi wrote ensures toi won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed ,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told toi this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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XD That's hilarious!
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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XD
LunaShay posted il y a plus d’un an
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LMFAO XD
Outsidersfan123 posted il y a plus d’un an
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Réponses

pumpkinqueen said:
I have three funny jokes.

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown ours suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The ours sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The seconde guys says, "What are toi doing? Sneakers won’t help toi outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

Here's the other one.

A guy is sitting at accueil when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a escargot on the porch. He picks up the escargot and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The escargot says "What the hell was that all about?"

Here's the last one

Three kids come down to the cuisine and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves plus fuckin’ French pain grillé for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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All of those are hilarious! XD XD XD XD
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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They are all good! However I think that I heard them before!
United86 posted il y a plus d’un an
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ROFL
peterslover posted il y a plus d’un an
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MDR
BlindBandit92 posted il y a plus d’un an
Tamar20 said:
Eh I don't know if it's the best joke but it's what I have right now. :/
Best friends.. toi fight, I fight. toi hurt, I hurt. toi cry, I cry. toi jump off a bridge; I get in a paddle bateau and save your stupid ass.
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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XD
pumpkinqueen posted il y a plus d’un an
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Oh my god, thats funny and true at the exact same time
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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i heard that one but the ending was different it a dit if toi jump off a cliff i will laugh my a** off
Outsidersfan123 posted il y a plus d’un an
adultswimperson said:
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor had to call in the bomb squad.
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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Could toi post one, please?
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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@kndluva, I changed my answer.
adultswimperson posted il y a plus d’un an
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@United86, Ok.
adultswimperson posted il y a plus d’un an
Princesskiara15 said:
why was the dog sweaty???
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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Why?
TDIFan960 posted il y a plus d’un an
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Was it because he was a Hot Dog?
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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MDR
Tamar20 posted il y a plus d’un an
Insane4ever said:
A ours and a rabbit are shiting in some bushes and the ours asks the rabbit "do toi have problems with crap sticking to your fur,and the rabbit réponses "no i dont" so the ours whipes his cul, ass with the rabitt
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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XD
Tamar20 posted il y a plus d’un an
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LMFAO That's oh so sad.
E_M_LoVeRFaN posted il y a plus d’un an
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MDR
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
E_M_LoVeRFaN said:
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One jour the husband comes accueil from work and his wife says, "Honey, toi know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could toi fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes accueil from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could toi change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can toi please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The suivant jour the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He a dit he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake ou slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did toi make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

OR

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a bière bottle and bangs the gator on the haut, retour au début of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but toi have to promise not to hit me on the head with the bière bottle."
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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:P FUNNY.
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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Thanks xD I like them too.
E_M_LoVeRFaN posted il y a plus d’un an
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XD
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
Outsidersfan123 said:
I don't know if this can be counted as one

Teacher to student:why are toi talking in the middle of my lesson.

Student to teacher: why are toi talking in the middle of my conversation
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posted il y a plus d’un an 
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XD
kndluva posted il y a plus d’un an
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