Post A Joke Here!

Justin Bieber's music

a joke here

a skeleton is walking down the street. a thief speaks to the skeleton: "money ou life!"
the skeleton: "take what toi find"

^.^ it may be stupid but i l’amour it

One jour little Johnny went 2 school, and his homework was to find the first 4 lettrs of the alphabet. So he goes accueil & asks his mom, "wuts da 1st lettr of the alphabet?" & she says "bequiet!" so he rites it down. Then he goes 2 his sister & asks her da same thing, but shes listening 2 musique & sez "oh yeah!" so he rites it down. tanière, den he goez 2 his bro & asks HIM, but hez watchin TV & sez "nananana BATMAN! nananana BATMAN!" so he rites it down. Then he asks his dad, but hes takin out the trash singin "in the garbage" so he rites it down.

then his teacher asks johnny, "what the 4 lettrs of da alphabet?"-"bequiet!" 'wannaa go 2 the principals office?'-"oh yeah!" so there he is wit da principal, 'who do u think u r?!'-"nananana Batman!nananana Batman!"-'im calling your parents! where do u liv?!'-"in the garbage" haha. XD

Dust came out from a man's mouth because he told an old joke xd

A man and woman are in a court getting divorced and were fighting over the custody of the child. The mom tells the judge, "I gave birth to the child as well as took care of him, while the dad did nothing". Since the dad really did not do anything for the kid, the only thing he could tell the judge is, "If toi put a coin in a Candy machine, is the Candy yours ou the Candy machine's?".
It might be hard for some of toi to understand it. So, here's the hint- 'Think the bad way!'

Two turtles went camping for the weekend and they took some bière and sandwiches for when they got there. The only trouble was,the campsite was a weeks trip away. So the turtles set off with their bière and sandwiches,and a week later,they arrived at the campsite. Sitting down for a rest,one of the turtles suddenly says "Oh no! We've forgotten the bière opener!" The other one says "We can't have sandwiches without beer! You'd better go back and get it." The other replies,"No way! If I go back and leave toi here,you'll eat the sandwiches without me!" The first one says "I promise I won't,now just go back and get it." So the other tortue trudges off. 2 weeks later,the first tortue is starving hungry and the only thing he has to eat is the sandwiches. He opens the basket to take one out when the other tortue jumps out from behind a rock and shouts "I KNEW IT! I'M NOT ****ING GOING!"

I'm not afraid of the cops in Santa Ana, there on bicycles. I mean, how intimidating is this: "Alright Buddy, pull it over" *chine chine* *honk honk*? What do they do when they arrest somebody?: "alright, in the basket."

Inb4AmeliaBediliaresponse.

Q-If ur state is a veste were would da black ppl be (not 2 be mean if u are 1 n not 2 b racies)
A-in da capuche, hotte

docter docter i think im blind

i do to toi came in through the window

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Only two. The hard part is getting them in the lightbulb

Q: How can toi tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: toi can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If toi are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and toi have a gun with only two bullets, what do toi do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do toi call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can toi tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do toi have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was donné to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog a dit in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Ok so There r 2 Zebras 1 zèbre, zebra Says "i dont know if im Whit With blk Strips, ou blk With Whit Strips.The Other zèbre, zebra Says Y dont u Ask god. So The frist zèbre, zebra Asked God Th Same Question. God a dit u are Wat u Are. He Gose bakk The seconde zèbre, zebra Says "Wat Did he say" The frist zèbre, zebra Replied "he a dit U r Wat u r" The seconde zèbre, zebra sad " u r White Wit Blk Strips ou God Woulda a dit U iz Wat U iz" Lol

KK...

Q: How do toi get Lady Gaga pissed at you?

A: toi poke her face (Poker Face)!!!