ok guys so all this freaking hilarious one no montrer colline crap is getting crazy! toi know what that means instant inspiration! so here's some crap i just threw together hope toi like
Chad sits in his trailer and flips open the Wilmington newspaper.
"One arbre colline renewed for 7th season" he reads aloud laughing to himself. He picks up his phone and dials a number still laughing as the person réponses "Hello" the person on the other line says.
"You are freaking kidding me right? A new season? toi are seriously an idiot aren't you?
"Hey Chad, no they've confirmed it. We will be having a new season.
"Well count me out. Dude toi already don't pay me enough. This is my montrer I'm the star.
"Yeah Chad toi are the star, but toi know I can't pay toi anymore"
"Yeah because your either to busy fantasizing about Hilarie ou giving all the money to Lee because he is the One arbre colline version of yourself."
"Okay first of all Hil is hot and I'm a forty something an old man still living with my parents, and Mouth is the coolest. salut and aren't toi the one who always called us the little engine that could?"
"That freaking engine is dead, and your main conductor aka me has jumped off that caboose!I'm not coming back so why don't toi do us all a favor and just like kill off my whiny character ou make him déplacer away ou some crap like that"
"Chad..."
"Hanging up now"
"But.."
"Bu bye"
ring ring
"Oh God not again" Mark says and picks up his phone
"Hey Mark" Hil says over the line enthusiastically.
"Hey Hil, so have toi heard they've renewed us for a new season?"
"Oh that's great"
"Really? So you'll do it?"
"Oh hell know but toi have fun with that?"
"But Hil, this is your montrer now. Chad's gone so it's your time to shine. toi can be the main star"
"Dude I already am, speaking of could toi take those pics of me off your mur they totally creep me out"
"Oh yeah sorry" Mark says sheepishly.
"Yeah I mean without Chad I have nobody to kiss, I mean unless toi make it a breyton lesbian l’amour fest! That would totally appeal to the gay audience!"
"Yeah I don't know.."
"Yeah well I'm out. See toi later toi big lug!
"Bye Hilarie"
"Oh and toi should totally go to my blog Southern gothique productions"
"Sure bye Hilarie"
"If toi need a job I here Gossip Girl is hiring"
"See toi later"
ring ring
"Are toi freaking kidding me" Mark whispers under his breathe before answering the phone.
"Hello"
"Hey Mark it's Soph"
"Oh salut Soph! I can always count on toi to come through"
"About that Mark...I'm out"
"Soph"
"I'm sorry but I can't toi know."
"But Soph, Chad and Hilarie are gone, this is your montrer now!"
"No offense Mark, but this is kind of my show. I mean everybody loves Brooke, but I can't."
"Soph"
"Seriously Mark. It's like I'm in relationship twilight zone. I have to work with my ex-husband, my ex- boyfriend, and my sort of kind of current boyfriend. I mean that's like way screwed up"
"Well we could totally write that into the show. I mean I usually just put whatever crap happens in your life on the montrer anyway."
"Trust me I know. I would have offered Breyton smut, but since Hil is out, I'm out too. Bye Mark."
"Wait dude I'll totally put in the lesbian..."
"Have a lovely jour Mark" Sophia says before hanging up.
"Just great, three out, two to go"
ring ring
"When does that do not call button kick in" he askes himself before picking up the phone."
"I'm out"
"Good morning to toi too Joy"
"Sorry, good morning, but I'm out"
"Why?"
"Because we've been on this montrer for 6 years, and I want to go accueil and get pregnant, like really good and pregnant"
"Oh come on, it's your montrer now Joy. toi can get pregnant anytime, but right now this is your chance. Chad, Hil, and Soph are out it's your montrer now"
"Which I've have to say would be about damn time. You've been giving me all the crappy storylines. Double rendez-vous amoureux, date with Mia and Chase? I mean really toi couldn't give Naley one hot night out, just the two of them?
"Ok fine I'll turn the montrer into a Naley porno is that what toi want? Because I'll do it, all the rain scenes toi could want"
"Oh yeah and speaking of no rain scenes? Really Mark your a dumbbutt"
"So I've been told"
"I would say that Lucas and I should do like a whole affair thing but since Chad's out, I'm out too"
"Are toi kidding me"
"Nope, now bye" Joy a dit cheerfully as she hung up the phone.
"Yeah bye" he a dit mockingly. "Man I'm freaking Mark Schwann. The creator of One arbre Hill, loved par all, well except for the occasional 100 death threats, but anyway"
Mark is taken out of his delusions par a ringing phone.
ring ring
"What?" he yells loudly.
"Okay I'm guessing everyone else has called, so I'll make this short and sweet. I'm out, there is not enough scenes of me shirtless, I haven't got to Kiss Sophia yet which really pisses me off, and quiet frankly I just don't like you."
"Anything else"
"Oh yeah I think that your a freak and toi are super stalkerish when it comes to HB"
"Ok toi caught me s’embrasser her pic one time"
"French s’embrasser it, don't remind me. Anyway why don't toi try Jackson. I'm sure he'd l’amour a Jamie spin off"
"This could have been your montrer James"
"Dude it already was. Did toi not see all the girls screaming my name?"
"Ok bye"
"Cya NBA here I come" James says before hanging up the phone.
"Pipe dreams" Mark says rolling his eyes.
"Well Jackson it is then" Mark says dialing his number.
ring ring
"Hello"
"Jackon my man"
"Mark my man, what's happening?"
"You are buddy. I'm talking a whole new show. A Jamie spinoff"
"Oh Mark that sounds cool, but Disney already called."
"Disney?"
"Yep. They want to make a movie about me. Jackson and Chester goes Hollywood. We're going to be stars! Isn't that right Chester" Jamie says, giggling at his rabbit.
"J bud that's great! But toi could also be a étoile, star on your own show. Doesn't that sound great?"
"No offense Mark, but I did own the show. I'm the cutest, everyone loves Jimmy Jam."
"Jackons"
"Oh gotta go Mark. Mom has icecream. Mmm yum! Coming mom"
"Shit"
"Ah toi a dit a bad word. That's $20 to the Jackson college fund. toi better pay up mister. Bye." Jackson a dit before hanging up.
"Great"
ring ring
"I'm out Dawg"
Antwon"
"Sorry this cougar is done"
"Barbara"
"This cockroach has been squashed"
"Paul"
"Sorry"
"Lisa"
"Julian wanted all the girls, there are no girls. Do toi see my dilemma?"
"Austin"
"Your mini toi is out. And I'm sick of toi making me into a mousy whimp. I could totally kick your ass."
"Lee
This continued for the suivant few hours
*The suivant day*
"Looks like your the only one left. I guess your the new Luke"
"I'll do my best" he says before taking his spot on the rivercourt and shooting the ball in the hoop."
"God I guess we are going to have to name the montrer ONE because that's all we've got left" Mark a dit to Greg Prange as they took their seats.
"Oh yeah it's Fergie's time to shine" Fergie says, winking at the camera.
THE END
Chad sits in his trailer and flips open the Wilmington newspaper.
"One arbre colline renewed for 7th season" he reads aloud laughing to himself. He picks up his phone and dials a number still laughing as the person réponses "Hello" the person on the other line says.
"You are freaking kidding me right? A new season? toi are seriously an idiot aren't you?
"Hey Chad, no they've confirmed it. We will be having a new season.
"Well count me out. Dude toi already don't pay me enough. This is my montrer I'm the star.
"Yeah Chad toi are the star, but toi know I can't pay toi anymore"
"Yeah because your either to busy fantasizing about Hilarie ou giving all the money to Lee because he is the One arbre colline version of yourself."
"Okay first of all Hil is hot and I'm a forty something an old man still living with my parents, and Mouth is the coolest. salut and aren't toi the one who always called us the little engine that could?"
"That freaking engine is dead, and your main conductor aka me has jumped off that caboose!I'm not coming back so why don't toi do us all a favor and just like kill off my whiny character ou make him déplacer away ou some crap like that"
"Chad..."
"Hanging up now"
"But.."
"Bu bye"
ring ring
"Oh God not again" Mark says and picks up his phone
"Hey Mark" Hil says over the line enthusiastically.
"Hey Hil, so have toi heard they've renewed us for a new season?"
"Oh that's great"
"Really? So you'll do it?"
"Oh hell know but toi have fun with that?"
"But Hil, this is your montrer now. Chad's gone so it's your time to shine. toi can be the main star"
"Dude I already am, speaking of could toi take those pics of me off your mur they totally creep me out"
"Oh yeah sorry" Mark says sheepishly.
"Yeah I mean without Chad I have nobody to kiss, I mean unless toi make it a breyton lesbian l’amour fest! That would totally appeal to the gay audience!"
"Yeah I don't know.."
"Yeah well I'm out. See toi later toi big lug!
"Bye Hilarie"
"Oh and toi should totally go to my blog Southern gothique productions"
"Sure bye Hilarie"
"If toi need a job I here Gossip Girl is hiring"
"See toi later"
ring ring
"Are toi freaking kidding me" Mark whispers under his breathe before answering the phone.
"Hello"
"Hey Mark it's Soph"
"Oh salut Soph! I can always count on toi to come through"
"About that Mark...I'm out"
"Soph"
"I'm sorry but I can't toi know."
"But Soph, Chad and Hilarie are gone, this is your montrer now!"
"No offense Mark, but this is kind of my show. I mean everybody loves Brooke, but I can't."
"Soph"
"Seriously Mark. It's like I'm in relationship twilight zone. I have to work with my ex-husband, my ex- boyfriend, and my sort of kind of current boyfriend. I mean that's like way screwed up"
"Well we could totally write that into the show. I mean I usually just put whatever crap happens in your life on the montrer anyway."
"Trust me I know. I would have offered Breyton smut, but since Hil is out, I'm out too. Bye Mark."
"Wait dude I'll totally put in the lesbian..."
"Have a lovely jour Mark" Sophia says before hanging up.
"Just great, three out, two to go"
ring ring
"When does that do not call button kick in" he askes himself before picking up the phone."
"I'm out"
"Good morning to toi too Joy"
"Sorry, good morning, but I'm out"
"Why?"
"Because we've been on this montrer for 6 years, and I want to go accueil and get pregnant, like really good and pregnant"
"Oh come on, it's your montrer now Joy. toi can get pregnant anytime, but right now this is your chance. Chad, Hil, and Soph are out it's your montrer now"
"Which I've have to say would be about damn time. You've been giving me all the crappy storylines. Double rendez-vous amoureux, date with Mia and Chase? I mean really toi couldn't give Naley one hot night out, just the two of them?
"Ok fine I'll turn the montrer into a Naley porno is that what toi want? Because I'll do it, all the rain scenes toi could want"
"Oh yeah and speaking of no rain scenes? Really Mark your a dumbbutt"
"So I've been told"
"I would say that Lucas and I should do like a whole affair thing but since Chad's out, I'm out too"
"Are toi kidding me"
"Nope, now bye" Joy a dit cheerfully as she hung up the phone.
"Yeah bye" he a dit mockingly. "Man I'm freaking Mark Schwann. The creator of One arbre Hill, loved par all, well except for the occasional 100 death threats, but anyway"
Mark is taken out of his delusions par a ringing phone.
ring ring
"What?" he yells loudly.
"Okay I'm guessing everyone else has called, so I'll make this short and sweet. I'm out, there is not enough scenes of me shirtless, I haven't got to Kiss Sophia yet which really pisses me off, and quiet frankly I just don't like you."
"Anything else"
"Oh yeah I think that your a freak and toi are super stalkerish when it comes to HB"
"Ok toi caught me s’embrasser her pic one time"
"French s’embrasser it, don't remind me. Anyway why don't toi try Jackson. I'm sure he'd l’amour a Jamie spin off"
"This could have been your montrer James"
"Dude it already was. Did toi not see all the girls screaming my name?"
"Ok bye"
"Cya NBA here I come" James says before hanging up the phone.
"Pipe dreams" Mark says rolling his eyes.
"Well Jackson it is then" Mark says dialing his number.
ring ring
"Hello"
"Jackon my man"
"Mark my man, what's happening?"
"You are buddy. I'm talking a whole new show. A Jamie spinoff"
"Oh Mark that sounds cool, but Disney already called."
"Disney?"
"Yep. They want to make a movie about me. Jackson and Chester goes Hollywood. We're going to be stars! Isn't that right Chester" Jamie says, giggling at his rabbit.
"J bud that's great! But toi could also be a étoile, star on your own show. Doesn't that sound great?"
"No offense Mark, but I did own the show. I'm the cutest, everyone loves Jimmy Jam."
"Jackons"
"Oh gotta go Mark. Mom has icecream. Mmm yum! Coming mom"
"Shit"
"Ah toi a dit a bad word. That's $20 to the Jackson college fund. toi better pay up mister. Bye." Jackson a dit before hanging up.
"Great"
ring ring
"I'm out Dawg"
Antwon"
"Sorry this cougar is done"
"Barbara"
"This cockroach has been squashed"
"Paul"
"Sorry"
"Lisa"
"Julian wanted all the girls, there are no girls. Do toi see my dilemma?"
"Austin"
"Your mini toi is out. And I'm sick of toi making me into a mousy whimp. I could totally kick your ass."
"Lee
This continued for the suivant few hours
*The suivant day*
"Looks like your the only one left. I guess your the new Luke"
"I'll do my best" he says before taking his spot on the rivercourt and shooting the ball in the hoop."
"God I guess we are going to have to name the montrer ONE because that's all we've got left" Mark a dit to Greg Prange as they took their seats.
"Oh yeah it's Fergie's time to shine" Fergie says, winking at the camera.
THE END
Fergilicious! its hot hot
