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After looking through the hole in the ground, I noticed we didn't dig far enough.

Jade: So Pablo just left?
Bartholomew: Yes.
Sean: *Comes down* Hold onto yourself Perfect, you're twenty feet short.
Bartholomew: What do toi mean?
Sean: You're twenty feet short from the woods. The guard is between us, and the compound.
Jade: How could this happen? We had very accurate measurements.
Bartholomew: What difference does it make? It's happened! There's nothing we can do about it now.
Sean: *goes back up*
Jade: Bartholomew-
Bartholomew: Shit Jade, I'm trying to think!
Sean: *Comes back down* One chance. When the guard passes by, I think I can make a signal to let anypony know it's safe.
Bartholomew: What about those guard towers?
Sean: That's a chance you're gonna have to take, but they'll be looking at the compound, not the woods. *Smiles*
Bartholomew: Jade, pass the word, send down thirty feet of rope.
Jade: Send down thirty feet of rope.
Shredder: Send down thirty feet of rope.
Shining Armor: *In griffon disguise* Send down thirty feet of rope.
Celestia: What?
Shining Armor: Thirty feet of rope!
Celestia: What do they want that for?
Sigmund: How in the world should I know?
Sacred Symphony: *Arrives* Is everything okay?
Celestia: We have some kind of a foul up. Get thirty feet of rope right away.
Sacred Symphony: I'm on it *Gets rope*
Celestia: Good. Now go down into the tunnel, and give it to Bartholomew.

While that was being done, Pablo was still nervous.

Volk: They're going through the tunnel Pablo. Everything will be okay. Listen, since Mexico declared to take over the world, toi left, and joined M.I.3 to stop the Mexicans. If toi don't go through that tunnel, all of that would be for nothing. Nothing!
Pablo: Okay. I'll go through the tunnel. *Goes to entrance*

At the ending

Sacred Symphony: *Gives rope to Sean*
Sean: *Gets out of tunnel, then quietly goes to tree*
Jade: What's the signal going to be?
Bartholomew: Two tugs.
Jade: Okay.
Sean: *Ties rope to tree*
Griffon 75: *Slowly walking past*
Sean: *Tugs on rope twice*
Sacred Symphony: Okay, time for me to go.
Bartholomew: Alright.
Sacred Symphony: We'll meet up at Sugarcube Corner once we get back to Ponyville, right?
Bartholomew: Right.
Sacred Symphony: *Climbs up, then quietly runs into woods* Thank you.
Sean: Yeah.
Sacred Symphony: And good luck. *runs away*
Jade: *Pulls in Shredder*
Shredder: *Gets off cart, and knocks twice*

The chariot, panier was going back to get Brewster.

Bartholomew: Shredder, we're twenty feet short from the woods.
Shredder: How the fuck are toi twenty feet short?
Bartholomew: It just happened. Now Sean is out there on the other end of the rope. As soon as toi feel a couple of tugs, you're good to go, but you'll have to keep Brewster down.
Jade: *Hears two knocks, and pulls in Brewster*

Suddenly, an alarm went off.

Brewster: *Gets off cart* What's that?
Shredder: It sounds like an air raid.
Jade: Oh no, the goons will turn off all the power, and we'll lose the lights in the tunnel.
Pablo: *Knocks twice*
Jade: *Pulling in Pablo*

Jade was right. Bombs could be heard in the distance, and soon the lights were turned off.

Jade: *Stops pulling cart*
Pablo: Hey! What's happening?!
Sean: *Goes to hole, then whispers* It's an air raid, get everypony out, quickly!
Bartholomew: Alright, go.
Shredder: *Goes up ladder*
Brewster: *Follows Shredder*
Shredder & Bartholomew: *Runs into woods*
Pablo: What's happening? *Crying*
Volk: *Shows up* Pablo, it's alright, the lights have been turned off.
Sean: Hurry.
Jade: *Lights lantern* Light the lantern down there!
Pablo: toi go *Gets off cart*
Volk: Are toi sure?
Pablo: Yes.
Bartholomew: Come on fella's move, move! We could get dozens out with this darkness.
Volk: *Gets on cart*
Bartholomew: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?!
Volk: *Knocks twice*
Bartholomew: *Pulls in Volk* What is this Volk?
Volk: It's Pablo-
Bartholomew: Is he stuck in there?
Volk: Yes.
Bartholomew: Then get him out!
Pablo: *Arrives*
Bartholomew: Hurry!
Volk & Pablo: *Climb out hole*
Pablo: *Stares at Sean*
Sean: *Stares at Pablo*
Volk: Come on, let's go *Runs into woods*
Pablo: *Follows Volk*
poney prisoner 36: *Runs into woods*
Shining Armor: *runs to woods*

The bombing stopped, and the lights were turning back on.

Sean: We're on the rope. *goes back to tree*
Celestia: Alright Sigmund, it's your turn. I'll take over for you.
Sigmund: Thank toi *grabs huge suitcase*
Celestia: What the fuck do toi have in there? A piano?
Sigmund: Oh, that's very funny mate.
Celestia: Sigmund, toi won't get this through.
Sigmund: Oh, pssh! *Goes through tunnel*
arc en ciel Dash: Was that Sigmund with his massive suitcase?
James: Yeah, who else?
arc en ciel Dash: Why doesn't he just listen to Opera?

However, the suitcase was not a problem, and Sigmund got out of the tunnel with ease.

Sigmund: *runs to woods, then pats Sean on the back twice*
Jade: Bartholomew we better get a déplacer on, ou we won't have a chance to catch any of the trains. There's plus ponies down here, we'll just have to tell them what to do.
Bartholomew: Very well. Let's go. *Climbs up ladder*
Jade: *Follows Bartholomew*
Bartholomew & Jade: *Waiting par Sean*
Gordon: *Gets out of tunnel, then trips*
Griffon 37: *Hears sound* Is anyone there?!
Gordon: *Stays down*
James: *Holding rope* Come on, come on!
arc en ciel Dash: *Waiting par James*
Griffon 37: Did toi hear anything?
Griffon 90: No.
Griffon 37: Let's check anyway. *grabs flashlight*
James: Come on!
Gordon: *Staying on ground*
James: Oh, forget it. *Climbs up ladder*
Griffon 37: *Sees James* Hey!
James: *Puts hooves in air* Don't shoot!
Sean: Don't shoot!
James: Don't shoot!
Griffon 37: *Shoots at Sean*
Sean: *Runs away*
Gordon: *runs away*

After that, plus guards came.

Griffon 98: *Pointing gun at entrance of tunnel*
Ponies: *Coming out of tunnel*
arc en ciel Dash: Boy, there's a lot of fucking shot being fired.
Airborne: Maybe it's because of you.
arc en ciel Dash: Impossible, I was down here, not doing anything.
Major Skyler: *Pointing gun at entrance*
Airborne: *Sticks head through entrance*
Major Skyler: Out.
Airborne: *Comes out of tunnel*
arc en ciel Dash: *Comes out of tunnel*

2 B continued
video
my
magic
friendship
my little poney
My Little Poney
video
my
magic
friendship
my little poney
My Little Poney
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy montrer that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank toi everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank toi very much....
continue reading...
toi see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, toi got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, toi got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If toi wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If toi wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is plus than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what toi needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
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posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult poney stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's haut, retour au début student, i always thought there was something plus to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're plus than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted par his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's montrer is here.

Tom: Now, most of toi probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give toi an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and toi stop at a red light. Do toi ever try to déplacer an extra inch ou two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when toi see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. toi just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining toi with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most récent film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His récent role as Dr. Robotnik...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but toi know what another populaire target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now toi assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do toi really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy montrer without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, ou the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, ou Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things toi should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: toi know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where toi can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy montrer that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank toi everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank toi very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help toi officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. toi know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black convertible with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the convertible they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times par a blue unicorn. He gets punched one plus time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting suivant to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted par the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting suivant to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are toi angry at me?
Jake: toi owe me an apology for the way toi talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are toi getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: toi quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 ou something, idk), is that this club has Lost its backbone. The récent year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My name? Alonzo Langusa. Age when I started operating? 23.


Act II

Vengeance...

Living was hard. I had to hide my name. I had to find a good job yet there was not enough money. Life was rough and it was because of these man. Vincent Galar, Apollo Monetto and Angelo Vertezio. I was taught par ma'am Crossroad not to kill. Yet I wanted to. I wanted vengeance. At age of 15 I started smoking and further drinking at age of 17 until at age of 23 I was kicked from my apartment. I went to Canterlot to find my good old friend her name was Clara. When I came she was shocked. I still remember it.


"Who are you?"...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
It was a cold night like this one when my father smoked his last cigarette in our family house. The night so cold even me myself did not want to go out. The time? As a kid toi don't care about that. It was dark, and it was winter. Christmas day. After Equestrian economical fall and industrial boom, everyone changed, the dirty mafias started to leak. My father was part of one of these. A high up. One of important people in Vertezio familia. Still on that night...

Act I

That Night...

"So how was your jour outside" Father asked me with a smile. "Good" was all I answered. I was 11 what could I say....
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