Mrs-Grint, they should make a tutorial: 'How NOT to do a Cameo, featuring Stephenie Meyer'. The waitress even says 'Stephenie', FAIL!
Good cameos:
George Lucas - waited until Revenge of the Sith to do a cameo in Star Wars, was right on the edge of the frame and was covered in blue paint.
Peter Jackson - in Fellowship of the Ring he was some dirty random guy outside a pub.
There's more good ones but those are just two good examples. JKR should totally cameo in Deathly Hallows, it's her last chance at a Harry Potter film. Maybe she should just be hanging out at the back of the cafe they run away to after the wedding, or just a witch at Gringotts.

Smeyer would never let them kill off Bedward, unfortunately. Also, I had a twitard try to tell me that Twilight was the biggest and best thing, Harry Potter wasn't good enough and that the Twilight cast was a million times better. Epic Fail. I left a comment explaining how that entire comment makes no sense, lets see what she comes up with.

OP, sign me up!! And I also think we need Norberta/Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback.

I think we got her already. I'm not sure if we have a welsh green though. Ooh, lets get some lethifolds! Maybe a chizpurfle or two and a quintaped.

link Checks it out and leave comments pwease!

Haha! The fanart is so true, so true. :)

I LIKE QUINTAPEDS :)

Quintapeds rule.

I've just finished act 1 of AVPM. Twitlight doesn't have a kickass musical. ChocAttack266 (welcome to Order of the Potters) and I just spent the day searching the internet for Ravenclaw uniforms. Whimsic Alley is awesome, I'm so pissed off that their only store is in America. Is there anywhere in Australia that sells Hogwarts uniforms? If you know of one, please tell me because I'm really nervous that I'll buy one that doesn't fit properly.

Anyway, we should search the forbidden forest until we find the resurrection stone so we can create an army of the dead.

dun dun dun

ToyletGnome: For a charity thing at my school, we all had to dress up as characters from books/films to raise money for schools and hospitals in Gambia. Me and my two friends, Josie and Alex bought black cloaks and made our own Gryffindor and Ravenclaw scarves and ties. (We can all knit and embroider XD We learned it in a tech class!! It's not a hobby!!) I even found some old school bags of my grandmother's and her friends school days. Alex managed to borrow the schools fabric printer and printed lions on two of the scarves and ties and an eagle on the Ravenclaw one. I must admit, we did look pretty damn awesome. I was Hermione Granger (I have seriously bushy brown hair) Alex was Ginny Weasley (AH! GINGER!) and Josie was Luna Lovegood (Blondie). We raised £60 for Gambia, it was brilliant. Perhaps you can do something like that.

I had a weird dream last night. I was at a swimming pool with some friends and Draco Malfoy was there... except he was a midget. And I heard Nacrissa Malfoy say "I hate taking him out you know... girls just attack him!" Then one of my friends confessed to being a lesbian and started dancing. And I woke up. It was a strange dream.

Were you in Hogwarts's hidden swimming pool?

OHMYGOSH! Possibly..

Weird...

I had a dream last night where it was December 21, 2012, and it was the end of the world, and it was weird...

O.O *starts stockpiling non-parishibles in the basement and barricading the doors.

The lava will still get in, MUAHAHAHA!!! XD

AHHHHHHHHH!!!! *gets a bunch of bricks*

AHHHHHHHH! SAVE US, BORACE!! *Starts throwing bricks round in a fit of panic*

*goes to hide in "fort" which is really just the box my new chair came in*

Mrs-Grint, you seemed a bit defensive about the knitting hobby. I knit during winter and I'm going to teach ChocAttack (...actually my mum probably will, she's much better than me) so we can make our own Weasley jumpers.

What can the twitards do. "Uhmm, I bought a dress like Alice's and Bella's jacket." Yeaaaaaah. Oh, sorry for the normal spelling, I'm to lazy to translate into twitard at the moment.

I have school in just over 8 hours... eww. I really want to make some Quidditch teams for my school. Our houses are already the right colours, I'd be a Slytherin (which is my second choice of house after Ravenclaw). Quidditch pwns sparklepire baseball.

Yes, I really don't like knitting. But that's nice that you can make your own Weasley jumpers. XD

Yeah, the sparklepyres don't even dress like real vamps. We need the cape get-up!

Go Quidditch! My school has the right colours too but I'd be in Hufflepuff and that's my least favourite house (No offence to any Hufflepuffs ;]). And also... the house that would be Gryffindor has the WORSE people but their best at sports. Grrr...

My house has the best swimmers (which is good, because it's really the only carnival I pay attention to and like) and a lot of the good runners.

Anyway, I just discovered an ENORMOUS epic fail in the Twitlight movie. They have to wait until a thunderstorm to play baseball so they go out, there's huge dark clouds everywhere and lightning and thunder going on... there's no rain.

Oh yeah... there's no rain! I can't believe I didn't notice that! That scene... where Edwart and Smella kiss... just disturbed me... ALOT. And the "I watch you while you sleep" scene as well. I was practically screaming "HIT HIM WITH YOUR CACTUS!!"

Haha, me too... well I didn't think of the cactus but yeah.

I'm currently listening to the AVPM soundtrack instead of sleeping, which is pretty stupid because I've got 5.5 hours until I have to get up. Oh well, this is a worthwhile way to spend my time.

Yeah, I noticed Bella carried a cactus around a lot of the time in the beginning of the film.

Oooh, which AVPM song is your favourite? I love Granger Danger. Ahh, the comedy magic of shipping. It's ten past six here in Shakespeare Land. Urgh, I feel so ill. Send me your magical healing powers. I stayed up watching POA last night and I was so tired that I managed a day off the torture base (HUZZAH!).

ToyletGnome: Strange, I did that exact same thing Saturday night, but it was 6.5 hours...

Annie: Haha! I never thought of that cactus thing! XD
And I love Granger Danger too! (and my "link" XD)

SHE CARRIES A CACTUS? HOW DID I NOT REMEMBER THAT?!

*lols for some 6 minutes* Smella, YOU KILL ME!

Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts for me. I'm working on something called 'Gotta get Back to Fanpop' as a parody XD

I MUST read that!
And you guys MUST see this!!
link

We'd get some pukeing pastels and trick those retards into eating them so they will barf everywhere while we tortue them.

Haha. Twilight fans chucking up everywhere, now they'll know how we feel about their beloved book.

I think my favourite song would probably be either 'get back to Hogwarts', 'different as can be' or maybe 'missing you'. The thing about listening to the soundtrack is that you realise how out of tune they sometimes get. Great songs, singing could be improved on. Oh, does anyone else have it, because Cho Chang is played by someone else... who is a man (I think).

Anyway, I've finally been able to relate to a Twilight character for the first time EVER, luckily it was Jessica. If your friends treat you like crap then think you're being a bitch for not wanting to hang out with them, they might as well not have brains. Bella Swan shouldn't even exist in the world of fiction.

Cho Chang is a man..? 0.0 Whoa... I never thought that.

Bella: OHMYGOSH! JACK F***ING OSBOURNE DON'T YOU F***ING DARE HURT MY F***ING LOVELY ACTOR!!! Tom swears alot on there. I can't believe he let Gemma Atkinson go first though. He's the gent!! SHEESH.

Izzy: I hope I haven't put you in hospital...

EDIT: OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!! GUYS!!!! THE "THING" IS KNOWN ON THE CATS SPOT!! FOLLOW THE LINK IN COMMENTS!! THERE'S A DRAMATIC READING!!! HERE: link

Sorry to completely stomp on your conversation, i haven't read it all, so i have no idea what you guys are on about, but just to suggest some fighters we could include in the battle, are the...GNOMES. :D haha, :)

Ah yes! The Gnomes! If any of you feel the urge to declare in Mermish or perhaps opera sing, do not surpress it! For you have been blessed by the Gernumblies!

Cho Chang=dude? Too much information.

"Luna, my love, if you have any sudden urge to sing opera or declaim in mermish, do not surpress it, you may have been gifted by the Gernumblies!" Wow, I quoted that from memory O.o

oww. stupid school works! im so late !!!!

Okay, when I said Cho Chang is a man I meant on the soundtrack, not in the play. Don't worry, it's all good.

I'm thinking gnomes = good.

Gernumblies iz very good.

:D:D:D

Guys, I'm going to vomit. Please make me not vomit. XD

Well, just don't read Twilight, or it'll get worse XD

Or the...THING...you know...the...THING.

THE THING!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Woo! Reply numero 900!!)

Why does everything interesting always happen after I go to bed? I hate school.

Anyway, we shall pull meaningful, intelligent quotes from the books until their heads explode. All they've got is "the lion fell in love with the lamb", epic fail if I ever saw one.

Update on teenage girls and Twilight, the only time its name has been mentioned was in reference to its craptacularity. In other words, THE FAD IS DYING!

I hate school, too. I had Sex Ed today. I cringed more than when my mum and dad showed up to my school parents evening wearing sarongs.. just to embarass me... ANYWAY!

"The lion fell in the lamb" is a HUGE epic fail. It's not even an intelligent quote. It crap. Draco Dormein Numquan Titillandus (Did I get that right?) Is much cooler. (Wink wink, nudge nudge at Sarah).

It should be 'Nunquam', but other than that I think it's perfect.

"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." ~Dumbledore

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." ~Sirius

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." ~Dumbledore (THIS MEANS YOU, SMEYER!)

This one's for you, Bella! "To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." ~Dumbledore

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure." ~Luna (I think)

These'll really make their heads explode!

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure." That's Rowena Ravenclaw, written on her diadem. But Luna does say it. :D

I really live by "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live," because I can spend hours at a time lying on my bed, just daydreaming. I should get out and DO SOMETHING! XD

Haha, I do that too, Annie
And it's Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

Ah yes, the intelligent quote. So much power in so few words.
"The lion fell in love with the lamb" ... and then the dog fell in love with the baby.

Screw exams, falling behind, got an impossible 41 over 40 on the last one, I'm just pissed. On the other hand, we were supposed to do a book report on the diary of Anne Frank, which I'm quite interested in, I'llr ead anything better than Twilight (which is everything) *reads book report* Screw you Adolf Hitler! Anyway...

Oh, God, I'm falling behind too much. I don't know what is the subject now, and I am very lazy to look to the previous pages, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Well, here's Uncyclopedia on Stephanie Meyer!

Stephenie Meyer
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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This is an article about an incompetent Mormon writer. For an article about a brilliant Jewish statesman see Henry Kissinger.
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Stephenie Meyer.
Stephenie Meyer is an overweight, sexually unsatisfied Mormon whore whose brain has been dissolved by years of easy living, childbirth, cooking, cleaning and rearing kids. She came to fame after publishing her first novel, Twilight, which is really literary porn for young girls. Since then, she has continued churning out crap, and she is the only reason why teenage girls still know where the bookshops are in their hometowns.

Birth
When she was squeezed through her mother's vagina she was glad to leave it for somewhere more private. During when her head was squished by her mother, Stephanie Meyer suffered severe mental retardation. Sadly, her mother died. A postmortem revealed that her mother was in fact a duck, and therefore a witch. Distraught that her aquatic mother was no more, Stephanie went into depression and ate nothing but old discarded laser printers.

Early Life
Stephenie Meyer grew up in a family with five siblings - most of whom have appeared in her books at some point. She includes them as characters in her books because inventing new characters would take too long. She received a B.A. in Engrish from Bringham Young University in Provo, Utah, by sleeping with the professors. This was, of course, back when she was not a whale. Experts now contend that she did not receive any degree at all and instead received a "GOOD JOB" written in yellow crayon on a piece of construction paper. Further research has uncovered that the o's were actually smiley faces.

Stephenie's early life was fairly uneventful. However, she has suffered of dendrophobia, a phobia of trees, for most of her life. The research site known as Gallup has confirmed that Stephenie Meyer is responsible for 63% of the rain forest's deforestation. She's also gone on record as saying she's not fond of bush or Bush.

Career as a.. "Writer"
Stephenie Meyer began to work as a writer as part of her plot to waste the world's dwindling resources of trees. She is very anti-tree in general. Psychologists have deduced that it is possible that she either fell out of a tree or was attacked by one as a child.

As an added bonus to her original purpose, Meyer found she actually quite liked writing. The success of her books with borderline illiterates provided her with an ego-boost so huge that it was listed in the Guiness World Book of Records and reported on Fox News. Her ego has been growing steadily ever since, and on the 4th January 2009, astronauts in the International Space Station phoned to tell us the ego itself could now be seen from space. She quickly began comparing her books to classics such as Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet, saying she was "inspired" by them, when really she meant to say that she ripped off their plots and then pretended to be better than them.

Stephenie's crowning achievement as a writer was to write books for people that don't like books (including vampire books for people who don't like vampires, and science fiction books for people who don't like science fiction and of course sexualy disatisfied midleaged women with the fantasy of a pedophile that glitters.). It is believed she will soon begin writing erotica for people who don't like erotica. What form this will take is unknown, but it is speculated that there will be no sex or sexual references, and a lot of Mormon propaganda.

Personal Life
Meyer lives with her sexually unskilled husband Christian in Mormonville, Utah, where she is a housewife and regularly creates new baby Mormons, as is typical and expected of all Mormon women. She is known to be highly critical of Greenpeace, and believes charities don't deserve her money. Meyer is quite proud of the fact that she has produced three male children and no females, as male children are of course infinitely more valuable. She shows this in Breaking Dawn, when her protagonist gives birth to a baby girl, and, disappointed, curses her with the cruel bully-worthy name of Renesmee. Some of Meyer's more controversial ambitions are to rid the world of all forests and to eat all the world's food.

Twilight
Twilight was Stephenie Meyer's first novel and was immediately hailed as groundbreaking for being the first piece of literature written specifically for illiterates, old hippies, and 13 year old aspiring prostitutes. She has admitted more than enough times in interviews that the idea came to her when she was having a wet dream about world domination. Of course, Meyer being a Mormon woman and a member of the NRA, she did not orgasm. However, Meyer has done some good, as the series has provided material that has helped other people have orgasms, particularly girls with less than average IQs in the 8-10 age range.

The book offended quite a few people when they read to see that these sparkly vampires didn't fear garlic/carrots, didn't burn in the sunlight, and didn't even have fangs. (OH COME ON!!!)

The plot of Twilight is as follows: A beautiful, stupid girl who believes she is both ugly and smart moves to a new school in a lame town in Washington where she meets a vampire who glitters all sparkly in the sunlight and likes heavy metal. I'm afraid this isn't funny because it's true.

Since its movie adaption which received many critical reviews, she became depressed and went on to rape her friends and Gymnothorax. She was recently spotted at a Phoenix Wal-mart shoplifting cartons of pecan ice cream. The authorities are currently investigating.

New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn
The sequels to Twilight are New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn respectively. It has been agreed that each is worse than the last. Breaking Dawn was rejected by a lot of fans, who became irritated when Meyer tried (but failed) to include a plot. The three books can be summarized as follows: Edward leaves Bella after Jasper almost kills her at her batmitzvah, she becomes suicidal and channels this through Jacob (who becomes a werewolf [shocker]) and jumping off moon bounces, Edward comes back to Forks after we read about some German vampires (Including Aro, who speaks his own secret language that only he and his stuffed animals understand), Bella wants to do Edward but he makes her wait until the last book where she gets married to Edward and his ego and he knocks her up, the baby is born after it almost kills her and she is turned into a vamp (wait... I thought she started out vamping...) and Jacob will probably bang her demonspawn in the future, the book ends with a would-have-almost-been-satisfying battle scene with the German vampires and their army of stuffed animals that never happened because Meyer is a fail.

Basically the series would ended much better if Edward confessed to Bella he was gay and had been in an affair with Jacob the whole time. It would have saved many people a lot of brain cells.

The Host
The Host is Meyer's pathetic attempt at writing for her own age-group. Of course, Meyer tried to write Twilight for her own age group, but the standard of writing was so low that it would not have sold. The standard of writing in the Host is not much better, but it is about adult characters, making it hazily viable as an adult book.

Basically its a book where the mormon aliens come to earth to possess people because they think its a good thing, and latter discovering its not *facepalm*. Also, vultures are evil for some reason.

Midnight Sun
At some point around June 2008, Stephenie Meyer decided to really test the limits of her fans' stupidity and see if she could sell them a book they already owned under a different name. This book was to be called Midnight Sun (stop using nice terms for your crappy books you dumb broad). It was the same story as Twilight, but it was intended that the Twitards would be distracted enough by Edward's sparklezz that they would not notice, since it would be all written by Ed-kun's POV. (OMGEEEEEEEE!~) It seemed this plan was indeed going to achieve Stephenie Meyer's two goals: a) to make more money and b) to waste more trees. THINK OF TREES WORLD.

[Un]Fortunately, somebody leaked a draft of Midnight Sun onto the internet. Stephenie Meyer then claimed that she was not going to continue with the book because having it leaked put her in a bad mood. (Who's the dude who made this miracle? I wanna marry him.) Bascially, she did this:

"Waa Waa someone leaked her hard work on the world wide web! Now she cannot gain dough from it! So now she'll stop publishing her horribile work from the world as payback! WE'RE SO HORRIBLE PEOPLE, WE DON'T UNDERSTAND TRUE ART, WE'RE TOO DUMB TOO LIVE! WE TOTALLY DESERVE THIS! Even the trees, they were asking for it, all of them!" /wrists ;; :< *sob*

What she did not explain was that it put her in a bad mood because the writing in this draft was just as horrific as in her published books, proving that she does not revise or edit or even check the grammar of any of her books before sending them to print. Meyer was chagrined and she'll try to publish the horrible book again. God will get you next time Meyer. NEXT TIME.


In a shocking twist, it turns out that the person who leaked the first draft of Midnight Sun was MEYER HERSELF (the dumb bitch).

Present day life
Stephenie Meyer is currently churning out as much crap as possible in as little time as possible in the hopes of making more money. She writes at home, but her publisher stands beside her computer, taking the print-off of every page of a book as it is written, and then arranging them into a book and sending them straight to print. Meyer does not need to spell-check because none of her fans can spell anyway. Stephenie Meyer only puts pictures of herself back when she was not a whale into her books, because she is embarrassed about being an author who is not thin, but only writes about thin people.

Meyer continually keeps waging her war with literacy. Her battles and struggle with trees is still ongoing. "It's not about 'good' and 'evil' 'vampires', but truly about killing trees and their evil air giving ways down," she told Oscar Wilde one evening, then Wilde presumed to leave.

Her long and winded romps continue to give her 'books' grandeur and large wet dream qualities, when she knows in the back of her mind that her catalog still won't measure to anything but sales in twenty years. By this time she shall be a glutton from eating chocolate to cure her depression from giving the world Twilight. Little, Brown and Company will also have built a large statue (still not life size) for her making them so much money which will then be worshiped by make-upped, Hot Topic tweenies. These douchebags will chant about repressed sexuality and rebellion, never realizing they're a commodity in a marketing world. Oscar Wilde will smile in a less treed world and say, "the irony."

In 2012, the universe will finally achieve enlightenment when Stephanie Meyer finally says, "I need to get laid. Everybody need to sex. Have relations." On that day, she will achieve her only good thing by quoting Peter Griffin, The God of Unknowingly Quoting Others, "Everybody Gay!"

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/S­tep­hen­ie_­Mey­er&­quo­t;

That's all maybe later again! Beware of Mormon Propaganda!

That is hilarious. I swear Smeyer is one of the stupidest people on earth

That's hilarious! I love it.

OHMYGOSH!! Your writing a report on the diary of ANNE FRANK?! Lucky - I'm doing Of Mice and Men and it's the most tragically boring book in the history of literature. The only good line is when Curley says, "Glove Fulla Vaseline" XD (If you've read the book, you'll know what I mean... if you haven't... keep guessing!)

That's awesome, and hilarious!

I'd love to do a review on Anne Frank. Instead, i get stuck with Animal Farm, and Flowers for Algernon. I'd never heard of them in my life ever...until i went into year 9. LOL.

THAT WAS EFFING HILARIOUS!! And you know what, at least 80% of that's probably true XD

I sorta did a report on Anne Frank, but mostly it was about Hitler, but we read the script for the play, saw the movie, and went to the Holocaust museum.

XD SO TRUE AND EPICLY WIN.

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