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posted by pipiqueen
here is one of my fav jokes-

teacher- students,as a part of literary week celebrations, we have decided to hold a competition!

(children starts to look at each other and whisper)

teacher- silence! the contest is, each jour toi have to read a well known book! and i'll say the names of some well-known books,and those who have read it should raise their hands, and the one who has read most books,will get extra recess time

(children cheers!later at the end of the week)

teacher- how many of toi read , hamlet?

(the whole class raise their hands!)

teacher-good! now how many has read oddissi?

(again the whole class raise their hands!the teacher is suspicious whether they r lying,so she decides to test them)

teacher- exellent!now how many of toi have read the biography of aristotile?

(as expected,the whole class raise their hands again!)

teacher- good,but may i inform toi that there is no book yet,called biography of aristotle?
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I don't know what this is but my cousion a dit to me to put it on fan pop i haven't watched it before Because i can't be botherd so here toi go guys it's for a DARE!
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1 jour 2 very lovin parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son wlked in n a dit "Wat doz chienne n bastard mean?" n d parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

d nx jour d parents decided 2 hav sex, d women a dit "feel my titties" n the man a dit "feel my dick".

Their son wlked in n asked "What doz titties n dick mean?" n d parents replied "hats n coats".

On Thnksgivin d dad was shavin n cut himself, "Shit" he said, d kid came in n asked "What's dat mean" n dman a dit it was d brand shavin cream he was usin.

Dwn stairs d mom was preparin d turkey, n she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's dat mean" the mom a dit dats wat she calls stuffin d turkey.

tanière, den d door cloche, bell rang. d kid answered d door to his relatives n a dit "Alright u bitches n bastards, put ur dicks n titties in d closet, my dad is upstairs wipin the shit off his face, n my mom is in the cuisine fuckin d turkey!
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posted by chowjoyi
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship‚ holding her hat on tightly so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me‚ madam. I do not intend to be forward‚ but did toi know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes‚ I know‚" a dit the lady‚ "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But‚ madam‚ toi must know that your privates are exposed!" a dit the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down‚ then back up at the man and replied‚ "Sir‚ anything toi see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
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posted by harold
"Then toi montrer up and drink my poison!"

Barnaby laughed with the others, but his cœur, coeur wasn't in it. He was concentrating too hard. Should he have picked one that was plus ribald?

"You didn't tell it right!"

He'd heard that one before, but Jim really had a good delivery, and got a big laugh. Barnaby thought he was ready, but just couldn't interject into the flow of jokes of the older guys.

"Don't worry - it'll stretch!"

Every an his brother Al would meet with his Friends for their reunion. They each made a point of coming back to Gull Cove the same time each year, just for this night. Al was ten...
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