I had this huge débats with two weslah amoureux on youtube, and since I put so much thought into it and it's so long, I may as well post it here too.
It's clear that Wesley cared for Lilah to a certain extent, I'm not disagreeing with that, but it's just blatantly obvious that he loved Fred so much. I mean, after Lilah's death his life went on much the same, but when Fred died he was just completely shattered, it was so hard to watch. Even in their last conversation she says, "would toi have loved me?" and he replies, "I've loved toi since I've known you... no, I think even before that".
And...
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