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Carter: What is love?! Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!
Jesse: No more!
Wilson: Hey, toi already had your show.
Metal Gloss: It's time for those back to back episodes of Ponies On The Rails.

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From CrazyWriterLady

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 37

Accidents Happen

February 14, 1954

Hawkeye: *Driving engine pulling ten new engines*
Colt: *Taking nails out of tracks* These would be great to give to our grandfather.
Filly: And our father.
Hawkeye: *Sees colt, and blows horn*
Filly: A train is coming. Get off those tracks now.
Colt: *Gets off tracks*
Hawkeye: *Drives train off tracks*

The nails that the poulain, colt took out were supposed to be there. Without the nails, the tracks weren't secure enough to be driven on.

Colt: *Goes to derailed engines* Sir, are toi okay?!
Hawkeye: *Comes out of engine* I got a cut near my eye. *Bleeding* I can't believe this happened.
Filly: We can take toi to our house, and make toi feel better.
Hawkeye: Yeah, sure. Thank toi for your kind hospitality.
Colt: It's this way. *Walks to house*
Hawkeye: *Following colt*
Filly: *Following Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: So, what are your names?
Colt: Michael.
Filly: Debbie.
Hawkeye: toi know, it's interesting. I know somepony named Michael that works for the Southern Pacific Railway. I never met him, but my boss sometimes talks with him on the telephone.
Colt: We can't use the telephone. We're too young.
Hawkeye: Ah, you'll get old enough someday.
Colt: *Arrives at house* We're here.
Hawkeye: *Looking around house* Nice place toi got here.
Dad: *Arrives* Kids, who is this stallion?
Michael: He's a railway worker. Look what happened to his train!
Dad: *Looks at derailed train* toi weren't taking any nails out from the train tracks, were you?
Michael: Sorry dad. We wanted to give you, and grandpa a gift.
Dad: Yeah, but I told toi ten times, not to take the nails out of a railroad track!
Hawkeye: Could we not argue with the little ones?
Dad: *Sees injury* Hey, that cut looks pretty bad.
Hawkeye: Yeah, I noticed. It's close to my eye.
Dad: I'll go get my tools. *Goes upstairs*
Hawkeye: Do toi have a phone around here? I need to make a call to the Cheyenne Train station.
Debbie: Sure. It's right in the dinning room, par our table.
Hawkeye: *sees phone* Thanks. *Making call*

There was a knock on the door

Dad: *Comes downstairs* I'll get it. *Opens door* Yes?
Pony: Power company. I regret to inform toi that the power lines are down. They will be back up, and your electricity will be back within five minutes.
Hawkeye: *Puts phone down* Great. Just when toi need something, it's unusable.

Pete was waiting at Cheyenne for the new engines. He didn't know that Hawkeye got derailed, and was in need of help.

Pete: Where is he? Pierce should be here par now!
Gordon: He's probably slacking off. toi know how much he likes to do that.
Stylo: He doesn't slack off, that's your job.
Gordon: I do my work!
Pete: Hey, enough arguing. It's not getting us anywhere. Now, what do toi think happened?
Stylo: I believe he got his train derailed. He needs our help quickly.
Pete: Alright, toi get the cranes, and I'll tell Percy, and Jeff to go inspect the tracks.
Stylo: Right.

Meanwhile at the house Hawkeye was at.

Hawkeye: So, toi two kids live with your dad, and grandfather?
Michael: Yes. What's your name?
Hawkeye: Pierce Hawkins, but my Friends call me Hawkeye.
Debbie: It's nice to meet toi Pierce.
Michael: Are we your friends?
Hawkeye: Sure. toi two seem like nice little ponies. What do toi two like to do?
Michael: I play ball with my dad, but when he can't play with me, I play basketball, basket-ball par myself.
Debbie: I jump rope, and sometimes draw chalk on our driveway.
Hawkeye: That sounds nice. I think while I'm waiting for the power to come back, I'll play with toi two for a while.
Michael: What about the stitches our dad put in you?
Hawkeye: They'll be fine. He a dit as long as nothing hits it, like a basketball, it should be alright.
Michael: Okay.

So Hawkeye, and the little ponies went out to play.

Debbie: *Drawing princess Celestia on sidewalk with chalk*
Hawkeye: *Drawing a star, and then looks at his derailed train*
Debbie: *Sees derailed train* When are they going to get your train back on the tracks?
Hawkeye: I'm not sure. I just hope that they get it back on the tracks soon.
Michael: *Throwing basketball, basket-ball at basketball, basket-ball hoop*
Dad: *Arrives* Michael, toi look like you're getting better.
Michael: Hawkeye taught me how to throw the ball towards the square on the backboard. As long as toi hit it, the ball will go through the hoop.
Dad: Who's Hawkeye?
Hawkeye: Oh, that's me. I'm drawing chalk with Debbie. Just look at her drawing of Princess Celestia. It looks really nice, doesn't it?
Dad: *Sees drawing* That is really nice. Good work Debra.
Debbie: Thanks daddy.
Dad: *Sees derailed train* There's a lot of locomotives, and no rolling stock.
Debbie: Rolling stock?
Hawkeye: That's what some ponies call the cars that an engine pulls. There's a lot of cars for trains. Passenger cars, box cars, flat cars, tank cars, all kinds of cars. toi can put a lot of things in a train, and all those cars are built for certain things to be put in.
Michael: salut Dad, do you, and Hawkeye wanna play baseball with me?
Dad: Sure, I don't see why not.
Hawkeye: I'll play. Do toi wanna play with us Debbie?
Debbie: Oh, I don't really play baseball.
Hawkeye: Ah, that's okay. I'm sure toi can do really good on my team.
Electric Pony: *Arrives* Sir?
Dad: Yes?
Electric Pony: Power lines are back up. *Looks at Hawkeye* toi can make that call toi were trying to make.
Hawkeye: Thank you. Sorry kids, but it looks like I have to get back to work.

Michael, and Debbie stayed outside to play with their dad, and Hawkeye went inside to make the phone call.

Hawkeye: *Calling Cheyenne Trainstation*
Pete: *Hears phone ring, and answers* Cheyenne Trainstation of the Union Pacific. Pete Reimer speaking.
Hawkeye: Pete, it's me Pierce.
Pete: What have toi been up to?
Hawkeye: My train has been derailed. Could toi send some cranes over to get them back on the tracks?
Pete: I already did. Percy, and Jeff will be there too. They're gonna inspect the track.
Hawkeye: Okay good. Thank you. *Hangs up*
Grandfather: *Comes downstairs* How did toi get in my house?
Hawkeye: toi must be Michael's grandfather. Hi, I'm Friends with your son, and grandson. The name is Pierce Hawkins.
Grandfather: Piercing Hooker?
Hawkeye: No, Pierce Hawkins!
Grandfather: Pierced Hawk Inn?
Hawkeye: P-I-E-R-C-E, that's Pierce. H-A-W-K-I-N-S! Hawkins! Pierce Hawkins!
Grandfather: Oh, now I understand. Nice to meet toi Fierce Pumpkin.
Hawkeye: ..... (What an idiot.) *Walks away*
Percy: *Drives over to Hawkeye in a truck*
Hawkeye: Percy, so good to see toi again.
Percy: Come with me.
Hawkeye: With pleasure. Thank toi for saving me.
Percy: *Drives over to derailed train*
Hawkeye: So, did toi notice some spikes have been taken out?
Percy: Yeah, we noticed. Are toi hurt?
Hawkeye: Well, toi probably haven't noticed, but I had a cut near my eye. The stallion at that house I was staying at helped me though.
Percy: Oh, good. *Stops near derailed train*
Jeff: I just put in new spikes.
Percy: Good. Now Stylo can come with the cranes, and get the train back on the tracks.
Hawkeye: Alright. Good.
Michael: *Runs over* Pierce! You'll come visit us again, will you?
Percy: *Sees colt* Hey, toi shouldn't be near here.
Hawkeye: It's fine Percy. Michael, I'll do my best, but working on the railway is very busy, and important. Hopefully, toi could come visit me.
Michael: Yeah!
Hawkeye: Alright, sounds good.
Dad: Michael, get back here!
Hawkeye: Alright, toi better get back to your dad.
Michael: Thanks again Hawkeye. *Runs to his dad*
Percy: He seems like a nice colt.
Hawkeye: toi should see his sister.
Stylo: *Pushing cranes towards derailed train*
Hawkeye: Okay, get the train back on the rails.
Workers: *Using cranes to put train back on rails*
Hawkeye: I'll be back in Cheyenne soon.
Percy: toi are in Cheyenne.
Hawkeye: I meant at the train station.

A few days later, at Michael's house.

Michael: *Eating PB&J*
Dad: *Hears doorbell ring* I'll get it. *Goes to door, and opens it*
Hawkeye: Hi father.
Dad: toi again.
Hawkeye: Yeah, I brought, you, your father, and your children some presents.
Michael: Hawkeye's here!
Hawkeye: Hello Michael. *Shows big box* I got toi a model train set.
Debbie: What did toi get me?
Hawkeye: I got toi a new box of chalk, and a jumprope.
Debbie: Awesome!
Hawkeye: And for your father, a nice tie, some ink to his typewriter, and a nice fedora to go with it.
Dad: I don't know what to say. Thank you.
Hawkeye: Don't mention it. All gifts from me to you.
Grandfather: What about me?
Hawkeye: Oh, don't worry. I got a gift for you. *Shows a brand new watch* Made entirely out of gold.
Grandfather: It's beautiful.
Hawkeye: I'm glad toi like your gifts, but I must go now. *Leaves house*

The End

On the suivant episode of Ponies On The Rails

Hawkeye, and Gordon go to court.

---

Theme song >>>> link

Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From CrazyWriterLady

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Episode 38

Nothing But The Truth

February 25, 1954

The courthouse of Cheyenne was busy, but not busy enough for the ponies working on the Union Pacific.

Judge: Everypony may be seated.
Ponies: *Sit down*
Judge: Today we are about to witness the case of Gordon Suite against Pierce Hawkins. Will the offensive side please stand.
Gordon & Coffee Creme: *Standing up*
Judge: Gordon Suite. Do toi swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Gordon: Yes your honor.
Judge: The same goes to toi Coffee Creme. Do toi swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Coffee Creme: Oui.
Judge: Excuse me?
Coffee Creme: That was french for yes. I'm french.
Judge: And now for the defendant.
Hawkeye: *Stands up*
Judge: Pierce Hawkins. Do toi swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Hawkeye: Yes sir.
Judge: Alright. This court is now in session. The offense may speak.
Gordon: It was February 20, 1954. At precisely 8:00 AM this happened.

Cheyenne Wyoming Train station.

February 20, 1954

Pete: Gordon, I'm going on a vacation, and I want toi to be in charge while I'm away.
Gordon: Yes sir.
Pete: Follow the orders on the wall, and everything will be good.
Gordon: Sure thing.

February 25, 1954

Judge: toi never did do what your boss Pete Reimer told toi to do, did you?
Gordon: Oh I did. Nopony listened to me.

20 minutes later

Judge: Did toi like having Gordon be your boss?
Stylo: No I did not.
Judge: Why not?
Stylo: Because he was rude, arrogant, and very careless.
Judge: What made him all three of those things he said?
Stylo: Gordon did the opposite of what he was supposed to do, and tried to make us work like slaves.
Judge: That will be all Stylo. toi may step down.
Stylo: Thank you.

After Stylo gave his testimony, it was Gordon's turn to speak in court.

Judge: Now, tell us exactly what happened on the morning of February 20, 1954.
Gordon: I was telling everypony what to do.

Cheyenne Trainstation

February 20, 1954

Gordon: Okay, get to work now!
Jeff: We're fixing the tracks as fast as we can.
Gordon: Well it's not fast enough.
Hawkeye: Gordon, I just brought a freight in from Denver.
Gordon: Well take it back to Denver.
Hawkeye: I can't believe this! You're giving us too much work! I won't stand for it.
Gordon: And what are toi going to do about it?
Hawkeye: I'm gonna beat toi up for it! *Pushes Gordon onto ground, and kicks him*

Cheyenne Courthouse

February 25, 1954

Judge: Pierce, did any of that really happen?
Hawkeye: Well, I will admit there were some facts in what Gordon said. It did take place in February 20, 1954, and we were in Cheyenne. Other then that, it was pure fiction. The real truth was this.

Cheyenne Trainstation

February 20, 1954

Gordon: Keep working now!
Jeff: We already finished our work.
Gordon: Oh, well take the tracks apart, and fix them again!
Hawkeye: Gordon, the point of being in charge is to make sure everypony does their work. You're making them ruin their work, and do it over.
Gordon: It was ruined once they started.
Hawkeye: It was ruined when toi were put in charge.
Gordon: I am a great leader!
Hawkeye: Yeah, if we were all pissed off, and overweight like you.
Gordon: Take that back! *Tries to coup de poing Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *Ducks*
Stylo: Hey, what's going on?
Gordon: Pierce is disobeying orders.
Stylo: And who wouldn't? Your orders are very pointless, and requires a lot of stupidity to understand.
Gordon: toi can go quit if toi don't like it here.
Stylo: Nah, I wanna work.
Gordon: Well toi will not do your job. If toi try to do what you're supposed to do, toi will be fired.

Cheyenne Courthouse

February 25, 1954.

Judge: He did all that?
Hawkeye: It's sad, but true.
Judge: Thank you. Coffee Creme, please tell us your side of the story.
Coffee Creme: Gordon was doing his job, and he was doing very well.
Pete: Objection.
Hawkeye: Thank goodness, another poney on the good side.
Pete: I had Coffee Creme go all the way to St. Foalis before putting Gordon in charge. She was nowhere near Cheyenne when I left.
Judge: Is that true Coffee Creme?
Coffee Creme: *Sighs* Yes.
Judge: This court will now be in recess for half an hour.
Hawkeye: How am I doing?
Pete: Good. Just keep it up. All we have to do now is hear Percy, and Jeff's side of the story.
Hawkeye: What about Orion?
Pete: toi really want that nutjob to help?
Hawkeye: No, I was just asking.
Pete: Oh.

Jeff was soon sitting suivant to the judge.

Judge: It appears that everypony is saying toi were in Cheyenne when Gordon took charge on the jour February 20, 1954.
Jeff: Yes, I was there.
Judge: What did toi think of Gordon's actions when he told toi to take the rails apart, and fix them again?
Coffee Creme: Objection.
Hawkeye: toi can't object to what the judge says!
Judge: Thank you. Now Jeff, if toi will please answer my question.
Jeff: I was very surprised, and upset par what Gordon wanted me to do.
Judge: When toi say surprised, do toi mean like an angry kind of surprised, ou just surprised?
Jeff: Just surprised. I don't get angry that much.
Judge: Thank toi Jeffery. toi may sit down now.
Jeff: *Goes back to Pete*
Judge: Up next, Percy.
Percy: *Goes to sit suivant to judge*
Judge: Percy, it seems that you, and Jeff are very good acquaintances.
Percy: That's correct. We do get along well together.
Judge: And on February 20, 1954, when toi saw that Gordon was in charge, how did toi feel?
Percy: ....
Judge: Percy, speak.
Percy: I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous.
Judge: That's alright, most of us are nervous too. Please answer my question.
Percy: When I saw Gordon in charge, I was very sad.
Judge: That will be all. The jury will arise.
Jury Ponies: We here find that Pierce Hawkins is not guilty.
Judge: Thank you. Pierce, toi did nothing wrong. toi were just disobeying pointless orders donné to toi par an idiot. Case dismissed.
Gordon: I am not an idiot!
Judge: Watch it, ou you'll be sent in jail for contempt of court.
Gordon: Sorry. *Leaves*

Later that jour at the train station.

Pete: I knew toi would win.
Hawkeye: When you're in court against a fat dumbass, it's pretty easy to win.
Stylo: I agree.
Pete: Me too.
Red Rose: Same here.
Snowflake: Hooray for Hawkeye.
Everypony: *Cheering*

But at the trainyard.

Gordon: I can't believe everypony in Equestria is against us.
Coffee Creme: We tried our best. Sooner ou later, we'll get another attempt to attack.
Gordon: We aren't really gonna attack them, are we?
Coffee Creme: Of course not. *Kissing Gordon*
Gordon: Oh yeah. *Kissing Coffee Creme*

The End

On the suivant episode of Ponies On The Rails

The mafia strikes back.
Song: link

Sean The Hedgehog: *Walking down a street*
Gordon: He's hosting!
Twilight: Man I wanna be the host!!!!!
Spike: Twilight, calm down!
Twilight: *Shoots Spike, and fires at Sean*
Sean The Hedgehog: *Runs as he dodges the bullets*
Gordon: He's getting away!!!
Sean The Hedgehog: So long ponies! *Stops running as he reaches a train track* And now we wait for the other Sean.
Sean: *Blows his horn twice as he arrives*
Sean The Hedgehog: Hi, I'm Sean.
Sean: And I'm Sean. We're hosting this week's segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories.
Sean The Hedgehog: But we're not the Sean's responsible...
continue reading...
Song: link

Tim: This is the suivant song I'm listening to on my patrol.
Toby: Not if I listen to it first.
Tim: Why you- *Fights with Toby, and makes a nuage of dust as they coup de poing each other*
Toby The Tram Engine: I'll never understand those porcelaine figures.
Hawkeye: That's because we're not made out of porcelain. We're not toilets. Pierce Hawkins here ladies, and gentlemen, and if toi want spectacular stories, you've come to the right place. The 2nd half of our montrer is about to start with Gran Turismo. After that, it's Adventures of Thomas & Friends.

What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle:...
continue reading...
Song: link

Twilight, Master Sword, and Captain Jefferson: *Watching Gordon, and James argue*
Gordon: I'm the greatest engine ever.
James: No. I am!
Henry: Duh, can I play?
Gordon & James: No!
James: I'm the greatest!
Gordon: No! I am!
Hawkeye: You're wrong. *Points to a Big Boy locomotive* That's the greatest engine ever. Pierce Hawkins here everyone, but toi can call me Hawkeye. I'm hosting the S.S.S.S this week. Tonight, we start with back to back episodes of...

Ponies On The Rails - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences

Hawkeye: And then we got....

Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
Adventures of Thomas &...
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Sean: *Looks at a grey hedgehog who looks just like him* Your name wouldn't happen to be Sean too, would it?
Sean The Hedgehog: It is. What a pleasure to meet you. I'll be back, I gotta insult Saten Twist, because he's playing as Alex Trebek.
Gordon: *Standing near a yard tower*
Hawkeye: What are toi doing?
Gordon: Waiting.
Hawkeye: For what?
Gordon: *Gets hit a 2 ton bag of salt* Wrong pony!!!!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry!
Double Scoop: Welcome back to the S.S.S.S. Our final two shows for the jour are...

Gran Turismo - Rated TV-PG
My Little Pornstar - Rated TV-MA for Mature Audiences

Double Scoop:...
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Hawkeye: *Sitting at the station with Coffee Creme* When does our train get here?
Coffee Creme: Not sure.
Sean: *Passes by, pulling seven passenger cars*
Hawkeye: That definitely was not our train.
Tim: *Sitting in the M4 police car with Julia* When are we getting some action?
Julia: Soon.
Double Scoop: Ice cream anyone?
Twilight: Man, I hate ice cream!
Double Scoop: *Pulls a lever*
Twilight: *Falls through a hole*
Double Scoop: That's what happens when toi tell me toi hate ice cream. I'm Double Scoop, and I'm hosting this week of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. To get things starting,...
continue reading...
Song (Start at 0:04): link

Duck: Now this is my kind of song.
Henry: Duh, what's a song?
Duck: How many questions do toi have to ask for crying out loud?!
Henry: What's a question?
Duck: For the seconde half of this show, it's My Little Pornstar, and Adventures of Thomas & Friends.
Henry: What's a friend?
Duck: I will scrap you, toi stupid engine!

This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - arc en ciel Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland montrer - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh...
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Hawkeye: *Hears the song playing*
Tim: Okay, who turned on that song?
Tom: Get something better on for crying outloud!!
Mortomis: Yeah!
Captain Jefferson: Fine. *Switches the song*

Song: link

Captain Jefferson: toi don't know good musique when toi hear it.
Percy: We're back!
James: Everyone already knows that Percy.
Henry: *Crosseyed* Duh, hi, I'm Henry, and I'm so hungry, I can eat your whole face off.
Duck: *Stops suivant to Henry* That's not right Henry. Hi guys, canard here with Henry. He's hosting this week, but as toi can tell, he's an idiot, so I'm helping him host this week of Sean's Spectacular...
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Tim: Hi everybody, and we're back. We'll be montrer toi My Little Pornstar, and another episode of Adventures of Thomas & Friends. Enjoy.

This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - arc en ciel Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland montrer - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - cidre fort, applejack

Now, let's begin.

Celestia: Once upon a time, in a world full of faggots, also known as America. There were two chevaux with wings, and horns, (One of them is me) and they...
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Song: link

Twilight: Man, why are we here again?!
Spike: To take part in the S.S.S.S.
Twilight: Is that a Nazi thing?
Spike: No. That's the S.S.
Master Sword: *Looking at Percy, and Gordon pulling passengers. Then he looks at the ponies, Percy, and Gordon* We have two Percy's, and two Gordon's. This is very confusing!
Tom: Don't catch on fire.
Tim: Yeah, please don't. Tim Miller here everyone, and I'm hosting this week's segment of Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. Gran Turismo is still not on the list, which upsets me since I'm in that. This week's lineup, we got...

Ponies On The Rails - Rated...
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Thomas: And now, we're at the back to back episodes of Adventures of Thomas & Friends.
Captain Jefferson: Adventures?! They're boring.
Thomas: toi won't think so after seeing this!

Episode 2: Snowy Path

One night at Tidmouth Sheds, the engines gathered around Sean to hear his story.

"I can't wait to hear what your railroad is like." canard said.

"Yes." Exclaimed James, "It would sound interesting."

"Alright. If toi all insist, I'll tell toi my story." a dit Sean, so everyone listened.

"Once upon a time," began Sean,

I was working for a big railroad in the United States. One part of...
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