Screaming Agony, a Million Tears

My stomach clenches and without thought i have to bolt through my room to the bathroom.
IBS
Its a syndrom were toi cry ALL THE TIME but when toi cry, toi puke
I clutch my sides and wait for the pain to be released from my stomach
But today it sticks
Today tears roll down my face uncontrollably
Today Im curle up in a ball in the bathroom, ipod clutched close to me and a full bottle bext to my side
If i drink all that bottle
I wont wake up
EVER AGAIN
And all my pain will be over
Because this bottle isnt what toi think
Its poroxide
And Today
I'll consider it
Nausea kreeps into my brain so Ill set the ipod down for a seconde

Okay Im back
Thousand little voices scream
NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
NEVER PRETTY ENOUGH
NEVER SKINNY ENOUGH
ALLI - YOUR NEVER ENOUGH
The voices are what make my hands clasp the bottle
But just as Im thinking about opening it- just as Im looking at my phone... Staring at that last sentance....

Those words would be the las thing any o toi would hear from me...
Mallory and Annie and Daniel and Mariah...
Thats all they would eer hear from me
But I care so much... About toi guys....

Those names
Those four names make me set the vottle down
Those four names make me crew the casquette, cap back on
And wipe away my tears

I want to go back to before
Where fanpop was my place of happiness
I'll cry myself to sleep tonight... And be thinking of all of you,
And the voices will scream
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT PRETTY ENOUGH
NOT SKINNY ENOUGH- NO YOULL NEVER BE ENOUGH!

And ill clutch my head in pain... Shove my face in the pillows
And thank four little names
That are keeping me alive
Four little... Not so little names
Who have an amazing place in my cœur, coeur
The engine
The par that keeps toi goin