It's only Elena for Damon:
Damon is in l’amour with Elena - and for the last time, as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news, just because toi don’t like it, it doesn’t make it any less true. toi can call it obsession if it makes toi feel any better, but Damon loving Elena is cannon. It doesn’t matter that I think Stefan and Elena don’t have the right chemistry for bf/gf; they’re in a relationship and l’amour each other. So my opinion, just like your opinion of Damon’s l’amour for Elena, simply does not matter.
When Damon falls in love, he falls HARD. Think about how much Katherine put him through before he got over her. And the only reason he finally did was because he found out she never gave a shit about him. Are toi trying to tell me that Elena will EVER stop caring about him? Even at a time when she hated him, she still understood him better than anyone ("He doesn’t want to feel, he wants to be hated. It’s just easier that way"). So it would be very out of character for her to give up on him after she's already accepted him even after he killed her brother in front of her. He always knew he didn’t deserve anyone’s friendship because he lived his life being a horrible person. But then she came and gave him a chance when nobody else did. Everyone has a right to not like him, especially Elena, but she’s the only one who was willing to see the good beneath the bad. Damon falling out of l’amour with Elena will not make sense. Hence why the only thing I will ever find OOC is Damon falling for Bonnie, ou anyone else for that matter. Damon deserves better than Bonnie:
People say that being with Elena would cause him pain for various reasons, and I just can’t help but think how they picture a relationship with Bonnie. Do toi think being with Bonnie would result in Damon’s happiness? Numerous brain aneurisms and being set on feu are the results of Damon doing things that Bonnie did not approve of. I’ve seen so many people refer to Damon and Elena being in a relationship as unhealthy, and yet somehow the fact that Bonnie uses forms of physical torture to make him act how she wants him to, is so much better. Except it doesn’t even work. If toi try to force someone to be a better person, they are not going to become a better person. They have to do it on their own. I don’t think Elena makes Damon behave better, I think the l’amour that he has for her automatically helps him be a better person. He still has a long way to go, but she’s the one who set him on the right path which is something that even his own brother couldn’t do in 145 years. But she didn’t do it par force. She encouraged him, but him wanting to save the town instead of destroying it was a progress that he made all on his own.
toi think Damon has changed too much now for Elena? What do toi think will happen if he starts wanting Bonnie's approval? How big of a change would that have to be?? And if he doesn’t change, how would it work? There are things about Damon that Elena can never like ou approve of, but that doesn’t mean she doesn't like who Damon is - she very clearly stated that in the finale. Damon would have to change everything about himself to be with Bonnie because she doesn’t care for who he is even outside his wrong actions. That chemistry that toi see between Damon and Bonnie will be gone par the time Damon is "good" enough for him to be someone who Bonnie can fall in l’amour with. He'd have to cut off his nuts and hand them over and then it's bye-bye Damon. toi say Damon is whipped now, but he still stands up to Elena and calls her out when he thinks she’s being crazy ou stupid. The reason he can is because Elena is his girlfriend and still accepts him at the end of the day. Damon: bad. Bamon: good?
toi keep talking about how Damon needs someone to keep him in check, but have toi ever thought about what Damon wants? If your first thought is "It doesn’t matter what he wants" then this is yet ANOTHER reason why I can’t get on board with this pairing. Now I know not every Bamon shipper dislikes Damon (and if toi don’t, feel free to ignore this part), but I've noticed that A LOT do. toi criticize Damon every chance toi get, and yet toi say Bamon is your OTP. When toi don't care about half your ship, Bamon probably makes sense. But for those of us who actually like Damon and want to see him happy and think that he deserves someone who sees the good in him, Bamon makes no sense because Bonnie is exactly opposite of what Damon wants. I can understand if toi don't like Damon around Elena, because frankly from what we’ve seen in the past 2 seasons, I don't like who Bonnie is around Damon either. She's supposed to be a good character but usually when she's around him she gets this bitchy, holier than though attitude that makes her unlikable in my eyes. But I still like Bonnie as an individual character…whether she's alone, ou with Jeremy, ou whatever the case may be. That's why I also see this ship as toxic for Bonnie. Bonnie deserves better than Damon:
Now let's talk about things from the Bonnie side of this pairing. Should Bonnie just throw away everything that makes her, her, so she could be in a relationship?
Bonnie's vues and beliefs are what differentiate her from someone like Elena. Those beliefs would HAVE to change for her to be with someone like Damon. And just think…poor Grams would probably roll over in grave. Can’t imagine Bonnie (who considered grams to be her closest family and mentor) to just go against everything the woman taught her. And if Bonnie is going to remain Bonnie, she shouldn't. Isn't the fact that she sticks to her pistolets one of the reasons why her fans admire her so much?
I always see people say that Bonnie needs someone who can challenge her and I find this to be odd coming from Bonnie fans, as if toi don’t know the first thing about her. It was always very obvious but she even spelled it out this past season: I don’t particularly enjoy any of this in case toi haven't noticed.
Bonnie doesn't want to be challenged…she wants to use her powers for doing good. Damon is a pain in the butt who will cause her stress and anger and every other reason why she was/is not very happy about being a witch. So Bonnie doesn’t need someone to challenge her, she needs someone who encourages her to grow. A man who is right for Bonnie will want to keep her sûr, sans danger at all costs and will always be there for her. He’ll make her happy and will see her as plus than just a witch. Every interaction that Damon has had with Bonnie was because he needed her help to save Elena. He doesn’t see her as plus than a witch, he doesn’t care about her, he WOULD let her die if necessary, as he has repeatedly said. Don’t toi think Bonnie deserves better than that? In conclusion:
Despite what I've seen numerous time, Damon and Bonnie are not equals. The fact that they're both Supernatural beings is not enough to make them equal partners. One would have to completely change themselves to be accepted par the other, especially as a life partner. Now I’m not saying that they will never happen, just why they shouldn't. It will ruin these characters as well as the core storyline of the entire series, not to mention it would be a cheap cop-out to have the "other" guy in the triangle fall for someone else. I know Damon&Elena together are FAR from perfect, and I’m not going to expect any relationship on this montrer to be flawless, but I think a certain foundation is required to make a couple believable, and Damon and Bonnie have nothing that allows for that. There is no trust, loyalty, friendship, ou care between these two, and because of the way their characters have been built, it would be unrealistic to have either one fall for each other at any point in the series.