As someone who liked vampires before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. ou that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do toi mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't toi go prove it? I'll wait...
...
...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't like. I've heard a lot of vampire fans talk about how they aren't real vamps, and that's an opinion I can go with, but I've also heard a lot of 'and I'd never want to be one'. Really? I totally would, anti ou not. All the reasons I find them annoying to read about are reasons it would be fantastic to be one. Reasons like
1. A million superpowers.
Think of a superpower. I guarantee toi there's a Meyerpire who has it. toi want to live forever? check. Want superspeed? check. Ultra hotness? check again. Uber strength? Mind reading? Emotion control? You'd be amazed how long I can stay here listing powers. Never needing sleep? Precognition? Tracking? Psychic pain causing. I'm serious, I can do this all day. Super escaping? extra compassion? Uh...magic...love? Ok, they start to suck after a while, but that's only because those characters have so many superpowers that Meyer seemed to literally run out.
2. Sparkles.
The sparkles thing always seemed stupid to me. Also, I'm pretty sure that the whole 'I'm made like a diamond and therefore sparkle' thing would in reality at best make me chronically traverser, croix eyed through visual distraction ou at worst make me actually blind, but this isn't reality, it's Meyereality. Do toi have any idea how much money you'd save on jewellery? Not to mention how handy it would be to light up like that. Need to hail a cab but can't get noticed? Sparkle! Problem solved. Sure, I'd practically never want to, so toi might think 'as a Meyerpire you'd have to all the time unless toi moved somewhere cloudy so it would still suck' but not so. If a barrier as thin as clouds prevents it a spray tan definitely would. I'd be one fake tan away from looking completely normal (There toi go Cullens, toi gaggle of dopes. I've just saved toi another 200 years of living in Forks. Go to Hawaii ou something)
3. Superhero!
So, toi find out you're immortal with superpowers. There are 3 things toi might think: "I'm going to kick cul, ass as a world saving superhero", "I'm going to take over the world like a supervillain" ou "I'm going to spend eternity in highschool"....wait...no there aren't, there are just two because nobody in their right mind would think of freakin' highschool. I would be off saving people par the truck full, since as someone less insane than the Cullens I can think of a thousand plus heroic uses for superpowers than cheating at algebra. I mean, sure I'd be totally selfishly motivated, expecting payment in the form of cookies, but aren't so many human lives worth a cookie ou two? (Yes. Yes they are. Go fetch my cookies!)
4. Vampire baseball.
I'm so not dropping this. I think vampire baseball is great, I really do. Anti ou not, that's just hysterical and fantastic. Not since cacahuète, arachide beurre and gelée have two seemingly aléatoire things been combined to such success. Yes, I understand it's not actually supposed to be the ridiculous and amusing spectacle I find it, but I don't care. It's just so aléatoire and silly that it cracks me up. If only one good thing has come from Twilight (which for antis is entirely possible) it's that I now live in a world with vampire baseball. Adding vampire powers to something as mundane and unconnected as baseball is just funny. And why stop at baseball when vampire basketball, basket-ball would be at least equally funny? Remember all those lives I was going to save in the last option? Well heck with them, I'm going to be too busy vampire go-karting. And Vampire fly fishing. Vampire bowling. Vampire Wii bowling! Can Meyerpires fly? I bet at least some can. And do toi know what that means? VAMPIRE QUIDDITCH!!!
...
...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't like. I've heard a lot of vampire fans talk about how they aren't real vamps, and that's an opinion I can go with, but I've also heard a lot of 'and I'd never want to be one'. Really? I totally would, anti ou not. All the reasons I find them annoying to read about are reasons it would be fantastic to be one. Reasons like
1. A million superpowers.
Think of a superpower. I guarantee toi there's a Meyerpire who has it. toi want to live forever? check. Want superspeed? check. Ultra hotness? check again. Uber strength? Mind reading? Emotion control? You'd be amazed how long I can stay here listing powers. Never needing sleep? Precognition? Tracking? Psychic pain causing. I'm serious, I can do this all day. Super escaping? extra compassion? Uh...magic...love? Ok, they start to suck after a while, but that's only because those characters have so many superpowers that Meyer seemed to literally run out.
2. Sparkles.
The sparkles thing always seemed stupid to me. Also, I'm pretty sure that the whole 'I'm made like a diamond and therefore sparkle' thing would in reality at best make me chronically traverser, croix eyed through visual distraction ou at worst make me actually blind, but this isn't reality, it's Meyereality. Do toi have any idea how much money you'd save on jewellery? Not to mention how handy it would be to light up like that. Need to hail a cab but can't get noticed? Sparkle! Problem solved. Sure, I'd practically never want to, so toi might think 'as a Meyerpire you'd have to all the time unless toi moved somewhere cloudy so it would still suck' but not so. If a barrier as thin as clouds prevents it a spray tan definitely would. I'd be one fake tan away from looking completely normal (There toi go Cullens, toi gaggle of dopes. I've just saved toi another 200 years of living in Forks. Go to Hawaii ou something)
3. Superhero!
So, toi find out you're immortal with superpowers. There are 3 things toi might think: "I'm going to kick cul, ass as a world saving superhero", "I'm going to take over the world like a supervillain" ou "I'm going to spend eternity in highschool"....wait...no there aren't, there are just two because nobody in their right mind would think of freakin' highschool. I would be off saving people par the truck full, since as someone less insane than the Cullens I can think of a thousand plus heroic uses for superpowers than cheating at algebra. I mean, sure I'd be totally selfishly motivated, expecting payment in the form of cookies, but aren't so many human lives worth a cookie ou two? (Yes. Yes they are. Go fetch my cookies!)
4. Vampire baseball.
I'm so not dropping this. I think vampire baseball is great, I really do. Anti ou not, that's just hysterical and fantastic. Not since cacahuète, arachide beurre and gelée have two seemingly aléatoire things been combined to such success. Yes, I understand it's not actually supposed to be the ridiculous and amusing spectacle I find it, but I don't care. It's just so aléatoire and silly that it cracks me up. If only one good thing has come from Twilight (which for antis is entirely possible) it's that I now live in a world with vampire baseball. Adding vampire powers to something as mundane and unconnected as baseball is just funny. And why stop at baseball when vampire basketball, basket-ball would be at least equally funny? Remember all those lives I was going to save in the last option? Well heck with them, I'm going to be too busy vampire go-karting. And Vampire fly fishing. Vampire bowling. Vampire Wii bowling! Can Meyerpires fly? I bet at least some can. And do toi know what that means? VAMPIRE QUIDDITCH!!!
I used to be a die-hard Twilight fan. (see my username. Damn I wish I'd chosen ANYTHING else sometimes.)
I still like the book in small doses now, and I even write fanfiction for it, but now I've looked critically at SMeyer's characters, and I think I realize what people are talking about when they say Bella cygne is a Mary Sue.
As a person who has seen it from both sides, I'd like to say that maybe Twilight fans didn't see Bella like that to begin with because she has so many "flaws".
I'm not really a mega-supporter of Bella's neediness. And I even, admittedly, wonder why she took Edward back after New Moon. Normal people with lives and better things to do would say, "Hell no am I taking toi back. toi left me crying in a forest, and toi think I'll just come running back to you? toi wanna commit suicide, go right ahead while I get the popcorn."
I still like Twilight. But maybe Bella cygne was kind of 2-Dimensional.
I still like the book in small doses now, and I even write fanfiction for it, but now I've looked critically at SMeyer's characters, and I think I realize what people are talking about when they say Bella cygne is a Mary Sue.
As a person who has seen it from both sides, I'd like to say that maybe Twilight fans didn't see Bella like that to begin with because she has so many "flaws".
I'm not really a mega-supporter of Bella's neediness. And I even, admittedly, wonder why she took Edward back after New Moon. Normal people with lives and better things to do would say, "Hell no am I taking toi back. toi left me crying in a forest, and toi think I'll just come running back to you? toi wanna commit suicide, go right ahead while I get the popcorn."
I still like Twilight. But maybe Bella cygne was kind of 2-Dimensional.