Porter: salut guys *hanging from foot on tree*

Slender: what the heck is going on? who is this guy?

Lucius: he is a rouge SCP apparently, salut HOW DID toi NOT SEE THAT ROPE TRAP!

Porter: well toi were to busy chasing sonic toi didn't listen to me when I a dit I was blind

Slender: good, he doesn't know I don't have a face

Porter: toi don't have a face?

Slender: shi*

ToTheArk: where are we going to live?

Jeff: well...

Slender: no!

Jeff: he owes us!

Slender: no we are not living with Laughing Jack!

Jeff: do we have any other options?

Slender: fine...

Lucius: who is this "Laughing Jack"?

Slender: I will tell toi later *unties rope*

Porter: *flop* ow...

Lucius : caaaaannnn!

LJ: : anybodyyyy!

Lucius : find meeee!

Slender : somebody to loveeeee!

Lucius: where the hell did you learn to sing?

Slender: like I said, I had a daughter...

Lucius: oh... so... where is this cRYPT guy?

Slender: his base is at Mount Hood in Oregon

Lucius: ._.

Slender: what?

Lucius: how the hell are we supposed to walk from Mane to Oregon

Slender: oh... huh... ummm... I never really thought of that...

Lucius: *sigh*

[the song was, Somebody To Love By Queen]

cRYPT: Boots! Trevor! Caller!

Trevor: yes?

Caller: yes?

Boots: ... (yes?)

cRYPT: I have a task for you...

Trevor and Caller: what is it?

Boots: ... (like toi can't do it)

cRYPT: I want toi to take down the other Proxys

Trevor: but Zalgo says-

cRYPT: i d0NT cAR3 wHAT zALLG0 sAYS? i wANT sL3ND3R t0 sUFF3R?

Boots: ... (dam*it, he is going cryptic again)

Caller: we are on it sir!

All: *all leave*

cRYPT: Jane!

Jane: yes?

cRYPT: take down RED... we are having war on both sides...

Jane: bu-

cRYPT: g0?

Jane: yes sir! *teleports*

cRYPT: *sigh*

Porter: all this is just because toi could not get along with Zalgo!

Slender: its not that!

Porter: then tell us what was the reason?

Slender: *sigh* as toi most all of toi know before the treaty broke, me and Skully went to silent colline for a meeting. during are stay Zalgos army came... they killed everyone...

Jeff: including Skully?

Slender: yes, I did not tell toi due to toi guys having some Friends there...

LJ: shi* just got real!

Slender: we have to save them!

Masky: its to dangerous!

Lucius: screw dangerous! we're already on death row!

Slender: I'm going to save them! I don't care if its dangerous!

Lucius: me and LJ are going with him!

LJ: wai-

Lucius: toi owe me! toi have no Idea how many times I have answered the door!

LJ: ok... let me get my vodka!

Lucius: toi know buddy, since your on death row I should tell toi something... toi better be grateful I'M killing you... toi could have been killed par a tall faceless guy with a VERY bad temper. now that I've told toi that, TO HEAVEN ou HELL FUC*ER!

*Bang*

Lucius: heh heh... he got blood on my suit...

*on the way home*

Lucius: to heaven ou hell... its cheesy but it is better than "you shouldn't have done that"

*Crash*

Lucius: who's there? if it's the cops I done
nuthin!

???: hello there...

Lucius: who are you?

???: the question is... who are you?

Lucius: says the girl that has a clock for an eye

Clockwork: says the guy that just murdered someone

Lucius: says the girl that somehow knows about it

Clockwork: says the guy that... umm

Lucius: my point exactly

Slender: LUCIUS! JEFFRY!

Both: *run in* yes?

Slender: we ran out of milk

Both: ._.

*intermission*

Lucius: ok... we got Slenderman the lait and toi a toy

Jeff: yay!

Lucius: but due to me being broke we can't afford to even get on a bus

Jeff: aww

*crash*

Lucius: huh? who's there?!

Johnny: HAIL LUMAR! *charges at lucius*

Lucius: *steps to the right*

*flop*

Johnny: *stands up* oww... I shall kill toi Zalgo demons!

Lucius: we don't work for Zalgo buddy

Johnny: LIES! *charges at Lucius*

Lucius: *steps to the left*

*flop*

Johnny: dam*it!

Slender: salut can toi tell me the plan again?

Lucius: aren't toi the one that created it?

Slender: so is that a yes?

Lucius: why do toi want a run through anyway?

Slender: I forgot?

Lucius: ...

Slender: Jeff bonked me on the head?

Lucius: ...

Slender: Zalgo wiped my memory?

Lucius: ...

Slender: I have amnesia?

Bro: he doesn't *walks away*

Lucius: toi are fooling no one Targeter

???: no

Lucius: what?

Dolan: is actually Dolan

Lucius: da faq?

Dolan: bit*h pls

*ding dong*

EJ: ugh... I'll be right back *poof*

*opens door*

EJ: hello good sir! how may I help you?

Henry: hi, my name is Henry... im here to talk abou-

EJ: no *slams door*

Slender: what was that about?

EJ: Laughing Jack went out side and someone saw him

Slender: wow

EJ: yep

Lucius: that idiot

EJ: well... I'll go get jack

Lucius: and don't come back!

All: ...

Me: sorry, my creative écriture kinda ran out today...

Lucius: toi better be!

Jeff: I thought it was funny...

Lucius: oh hey! I forgot toi were here...

Lucius: so... toi live here alone with the other Jack?

EJ: no... I convinced Laughing Jack to house other pastas that got raided par SCP corp.

Lucius: cool

EJ: hey, where is masky?

Slender: he had a cœur, coeur attack

EJ: well... where is he?

Slender: I sent him to 49 with ToTheArk

*meanwhile*

49: I will cure you

ToTheArk: toi know he is passed out and he can't hear toi right?

49: oh... pass me the the medkit

173: ...

49: PASS ME THE MEDKIT!

173: ...

49: its like i'm talking to a statue...

Observer: I fold

Zalgo: so... what happened?

Observer: He went kamikaze on my as*

SL: like a true wimp

Observer: says the guy that hides in the shadows for a living

SL: oh shut-up!

All: ...

Observer: so... whats up with the whole "when the world ends he lets out sigh" thing?

SL: I bet

Zalgo: its just a thing I created to scare slender

Observer: oh

Zalgo: honestly, if the world ended I would be dancing

SL: salut it's your turn!

Lucius: i'm sorry, but i'm still trying to figure out how I got here

Slender: ZALGO!

Zalgo: hello old friend! how are the kids?

Slender: What the hell Zalgo!

Zalgo: what? I wanted to know who he was!

Slender: no toi did not!

Zalgo: ok toi caught me, I wanted him for my army...

Slender: this is the shi* that makes m-

Zalgo: on my defense I did tell Shadow to tell toi after he got the info

Slender: thats it... THE TREATY IS BROKEN!

Zalgo: WHAT?

Slender: toi back-stab and spy all the time!

Zalgo: do toi realize what toi are saying?

Slender: yes

Zalgo: *sigh* well then... shall we meet again?

Slender: not likely

*both teleport*

Zalgo: Observer, the treaty is broken... toi know what to do

Observer: finally...

Lucius: A proxy? no thanks guys... I kept my mouth closed and like I said, I kill for the true law and i'm not a psycho like toi Mr. hockey mask, and killer clown guy... I respect you... toi couldn't help yourself. but now toi are a sadistic freak with no frien-

Masky: Jeff, just put him to sleep with the shovel

*Bong*

???: wake up my child.

Lucius: what the hell happened to your face?

Slender: well he's a charmer...

Masky: sorry boss, he is just like that.

Slender: do toi know why toi are here?

Lucius: yep and im 47 years old...

Slender: oh... are toi ready for proxy training?

Lucius: do i have a choice?

Slender: no.

Lucius: OK but one question... who was phone?

Slender and masky: ...

Jack [singing]: help me bob, I'm bully in the alley!

All [singing]: way hey, bully alley!

Kage and Jack [singing]: help me bob, I'm bully in the alley

All [singing]: bully down in shinbone al!

Henry: what should we do? Slender and his Friends are separated, and Zalgo and cRYPT are at war.

Vendetta: well... Johnny is working on bringing the proxys on the run to us... Once they are brought we will think of something...

Henry: until then?

Vendetta: we gather plus members

Henry: yes sir

Vendetta: we get the pirate next

Henry: I can't go par myself sir... He is unstable

Vendetta: I will send Alex with you

Alex: what?

Vendetta: toi two leave tomorrow

Henry: yes sir

Alex: what!?

I am Kozmotis, bringer of news, ones that have been long awaited for this fandom.

I publier this before I too disappear from the face of the earth. I know everything now. Please ours with me. They exist, and have a contract with- not zalgo- but the government. They take care of the people surrounding a certain forest, and the government lets them be and observes what they are from afar.

So dear children play nice, because they will come and watch toi if they think toi know all about them. Please pray for me as I go to their forest on a suicide mission.