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posted by Button-Mash
Well... that sucked.

-Story-
If toi read Windwakerguy430's review, skip this portion, but for the sake of my credibility... toi must become the King/Queen of Albion to stop an invasion of evil Gak. Read Windwaker's review for the score I gave this.

-Combat-
Dear Princess Celestia... GIVE ME COMBAT THAT ISN'T THIS!! pistolets and spells are OP, and toi can usually luck out with your melee attacks. And they ACTUALLY put an achievement in the game for not dying? Fuckin' insulting...
Score: 0/100

-Further explanation on Story-
Already explained, toi know how this works, either be a good boi and let people...
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This.
Shit.
Is my LIFE.

Story:
Evil has risen from whoever got the necronomicon-- damn toi Twilight Sparkle-- in their backyard and accidentally a dit the "release great evil" phrase. toi have to sort it out and probably burn both the evil and the book. Sorry, Twilight, but somepony needs to keep the world from imploding.

To be serious, this is one game I'm not going to spoil. toi should experience the story for yourself. I l’amour it.

Rating: 88/100

Gameplay:
This is Bejeweled: the RPG. toi fight monsters on an 8x8 grid, collect couleurs of mana to cast various spells, match skulls to deal straight-up damage,...
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Button: "I take a an off of game reviewing to come back... to this. What the serious fuck."

Story:
I wish I knew what the whole story was, because as you'll see later, I can't even finish the game due to things I never foresaw. This is an unbelievably buttfucked effort. I'm sure it all pays off in the end but... damned if I ever get there.

EDIT: Whoa, they fixed their booster failures! Now I see what it all leads up to! Okay, Story, toi win.
Rating: 62/100

Combat:
Well, at least the mech fights are fun. toi match up 3 ou plus nodes of a single type, ou plus types if toi manage to find yourself...
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*It's been 90 minutes*

Button Mash: Well, looks like my mom's porkin' a pony. She a dit if she wasn't back after 90 minutes, she's probably doin' it. So as of now, I'm the stallion of the house, and toi know what that means: *breaks out a cider mug and fills it to the brim with Sweet pomme Acres hard cider* Time to write my first DRUNK review! I needed to be while getting my head pounded par Sacred 3's shitty attempt at humor. PonyTube is a goddamn blessing.

-Humor-
This game fails epically when it come to this category. I don't know what'll make my head hurt worse; the impending hangover I'm gonna...
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Button Mash: Ugh, FINALLY beat this game! Took me HOW LONG?
Button's Mom: montrer contempt for another finished game, are we?
Button Mash: Only because I made a stupid race/class combo choice. Never pick a Newman. EVER.
Button's Mom: Why not? I thought they made great Force characters.
Button Mash: In the first Phantasy étoile, star Portable. They nerfed TECHNICs in the second. Even though being a Hunter sounds plus appealing after hearing that... they're not exactly muscleponies. Sure, my damage was serviceable and I did manage to get my fair share of kills, which helped me level up high enough to finally...
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windwakerguy43 - My god, when toi think of all the great zombie games out there, like Dead Rising, Left 4 Dead, and Resident Evil (When they were good), you'd think that Dead Island would be a good game, right. Well, guess what..... it sucks. I couldn't tell if I was playing the game ou doing one long boring chore. That's what this game is. One long, drawn out, boring chore.

Button Mash - I actually had fun with it at first. I never played that type of game before and, well, first time for everything, right? And then I got to around Chapter 10. And finally it hit me: this game kinda sucks....
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added by Seanthehedgehog
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added by Seanthehedgehog
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added by Seanthehedgehog
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posted by Button-Mash
Okay, toi know I have that 1-year Gamefly subscription. If toi read my haut, retour au début 10 Video Games list, toi saw Phantasy étoile, star Portable 2 in the honorable mentions liste with the reason donné that I have yet to finish it. The reason for that was the final boss of the game kept pulverizing my plot too many times to count. Guess what I get to rectify either today ou Monday! After I get my long-awaited revenge and close this digital plothole, I will get right to work on a review for it... hopefully. Stand by.
Hello, everypony. Button Mash here. I know I a dit I was gonna review FF6... but I accidentally my save data(that was intentional; didn't know the Vita wipes your data if toi eject the memory card while the Vita is on). So instead, I have a liste for you. A haut, retour au début 10 list. Hey, Windwakerguy430, my collab partner for that piece of shit Final fantaisie 13, does haut, retour au début 10 lists. Why can't I? So now I'm gonna take some time out of my busy gaming schedule and itemize and explain why these 10 games rise above the rest. But first, here are some honorable mentions and why they didn't make it in.

-Honorable Mentions-...
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Button Mash: Ah, another day, another review. What should I do next...?
Button's Mom: Morning, sweetie.
Button Mash: Morning, Mom. I'm trying to decide what game I should review next. I was thinking Dragon Age 2, but everypony knows that game sucks.
Button's Mom: Yeah, I didn't care for that either. I've been hearing a lot of good things about that new South Park game though.
Button Mash: toi mean The Stick of Truth? I actually got that as a rental from Gamefly. Flew through it in two days.
Button's Mom: Aren't toi a bit... young for that game?
Button Mash: I haven't reviewed a game in a while. I...
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posted by Button-Mash
I know, you're all wondering: "When is Button Mash gonna review another game?"

Well, it won't be too long. I got a year's worth of Gamefly, so I'll be playing a lot of games. I'll probably review some of them. In the meantime, hang tight. I'm not dead. I've just been busy trying to make Friends in Equestria when I'm not sitting on my plot trying to make sense of what I'm playing, which does happen occasionally.

I think I'll review that récent South Park game next... what do toi ponies think?
So, I heard this game called Destiny came out. It was supposed to be the biggest game in the universe, surpassed par nothing, with the best feature set this side of Grand Theft Auto 5.

Then the reviews came out.

It was highly regarded as a boring grindfest. A waste of 60 bits. Well, here's my own 2 bits.

These guys at Bungie are going to drag this out over 10 years. 10. BUCKING. YEARS. Yeah, it's boring now. But give it some time to come out with DLC and shit and you'll have a sleeper hit. There's a reason long-term plans work.
Button's Mom: Aw, isn't that nice. My little Button Mash is doing something he wants to do that doesn't involve--
Button Mash: Mom, what are toi doing in here?! Can't toi see I'm about to review another video game here?
Button's Mom: Wait... did toi say toi were reviewing video games now?
Button Mash: Yeah. I already did 5, and one was a collaboration with another pony. I'm seeing if this will get me my cutie mark. Plus, it's fun to praise good games and crap on the bad ones. Celestia knows Master Sword and I really dug into Fable 3...
Button's Mom: But I like Fable 3...
Button Mash: That's fine....
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Well, it's my first foray into reviewing a western-themed shooter set about 100 Earth years ago. How does the game stack up? We shall see.

-Story-
You play... for 99% of the game anyway... John Marston, a former government employee who went rogue and turned into being a good ol' American cowboy, back when people actually GAVE A SHIT. This is literally all I can say without spoiling any events for you. But rest assured, the story is worth it. But fuck the ending. I hated it.
Rating: 82/100(would have been higher, but the ending...)

-Gameplay-
Aim gun. Shoot things. Kill things. Loot things. How can...
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Oh sweet Celestia, where do I even begin with this heaping pile of horseapples?

-Story-
All right, so toi go to stop one of these fal'Cie things from taking over your homeworld of Cocoon... but once toi actually get to it, toi and your comrades turn into l'Cie. As such, toi either complete your Focus, a task the fal'Cie gives toi to do, before your brand's eye fully opens ou toi turn into a changeling-- I mean Cie'th. If toi do complete your focus, which is different from fal'Cie to fal'Cie and l'Cie to l'Cie, excluding your Final fantaisie version of the Mane 6, toi become a crystal for time indefinite....
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So my first review did about as well as a truckload of bottled farts. Can't say I blame you; first reviews are always hit-or-miss. Plus, ToM: Arena is a pretty damn new game, localization-wise. Ponyville always lags behind in terms of free stuff considering how out-of-the-way we are to bigger towns like Manehattan, Fillydelphia and even Canterlot. But this suivant game I'm reviewing has been out for years. sûr, sans danger to say everypony played this game during its heyday. I got to the party somewhat late, in 2011, but par today's standards, DS2 is still a bucking masterpiece. Let me tell toi why.

-Story-...
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Hello, everypony. My name is Button Mash and I decided to start doing video game reviews in my own club. I will be doing a 0-100 review scale, because 1-10 scales have been done to death. Decimal points are included because I really want to be accurate in my review. The first game up for review is one that hit the PonyStation Network this last Tuesday, entitled Treasures of Montezuma: Arena.

-Story-
You are Montezuma, the Incan ruler who's trying to save Annakaona, his beloved wife, from the clutches of both Cortes, a human who seeks to rule the world, and this weird-looking... thing called the...
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(Button Mash is trying to hit up Sweetie...)

*Button Mash: PLEASE SWEETIEBELLE! PLEASSSSEEEE!!!!
*SweetieBelle: Fine. I'll go with you. BUT! I'm bringing my big sister Rarity along with me!
*Button Mash: YEAH!!!

(Later that night at SCC...)

*Pinkie Pie: Alright toi two silly fillies!! What'll it be?
*Button Mash: A strawberry/chocolate milkshake with TWO straws!!!
*Sweetie Belle: AND a big bunch of french fries!
*Pinkie Pie: Alrighty then! Be back in two shakes of a wamboozle with a pinch of oodledoodleblubberfish!!
*Rarity: Pinkie!! Would toi be a dear and be as kind as to bring me a LARGE ruby cupcake?...
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