Bella POV
Seth's arms were warm.But the wind was not.
Every wound i have healed, every memory i have layed bricks over jsut came crashing through.
My chest was like it was just as it had when it first occured. The burning, the blisters, the throb, the ache, the peeling.
He was there... extactly the way he had before. He was no dream i relied on, no memory i remembered, no smelled i desired, not a old exists i once loved, but edward. the real edward. the beautiful, protective, amazing edward, the one i have wanted to come back for me. And he did. but couldnt.
Seth kept running, he knew me too well. i think that was my biggest mistake in life, was letting people to close. If toi let people see you, then they began to know what hurts toi the most. and use it against you. edward knew that, and no matter how much i thought that i knew edward for a time, i still didnt know anything about him, but yet i still loved him. i loved a stranger.
i stared at the gloomy grey clouds, as though the answer to me was somehow hidden up there. hidden up there with god. i wonder if there is a god. Would a god that is so praised create creatures of nightmares along with creatures of peace, like Tanna.
i diddnt know how long seth had been running. Time was endless now, like a path weiving in and out of my life, destroying all habitat and wildlife, but it was the strangers that walked that path that caused the most harm to me. They litter, leave their foot prints in the wet cement and walk all over me. leaving their mark on me everytime. some larger than others.
"bella, we are here" he whispered. he broke the silence. the empty silence. i couldn't force my mouth to make sound, so i jsut responded. i ackwardly steped out his arms and straighted up adn headed down on wet grass. i hope my act of "normal" was ok, wouldnt be doubted, but this was me, of course soo, i dont know i even worry ou try when i just fail anyway. Why try, when toi know your going to lose right? toi only get hurt, what are toi left with? A experience and a memory, however then people try make toi better par saying stupid things like " but toi learn from it, it makes toi stronger!" DO I LOOK STRONGER! DO I LOOK BLOODY STRONGER! I WAS JUST IN THE ARMS OF MY HUSBANDS Friends IN SHOCK!
yeah stronger my ass.
i started walking to my house, i could hear Tanna demand for me, could i even look at my baby now?
before i knew it i fell to wet ground, great my own to feet. again. I was to distracted wollowing in my own self pity that i forgot about my poor excuse of leg and leg cordination.
That was it, i couldn't get up, i diddnt want to. i wanted to lie here forever and ever, until everything was better, fixed, perfect, NORMAL! i felt the tears release over and over. this was the storm. The monsoon, the cyclone, and me being the one being tossed and turned par emotion wreck.
"Bella!!" a velvet voice. sigh. my halucinations are coming back. PERFECT!! WHY WOULD A GOD PUT ME THROUGH THIS!!
" DID I DEFY toi STARS!!!" I screamed. this was my life.
"BELLA!" it repeated. jsut stop. go away! i cnt handle it anymore.
Seth's arms were warm.But the wind was not.
Every wound i have healed, every memory i have layed bricks over jsut came crashing through.
My chest was like it was just as it had when it first occured. The burning, the blisters, the throb, the ache, the peeling.
He was there... extactly the way he had before. He was no dream i relied on, no memory i remembered, no smelled i desired, not a old exists i once loved, but edward. the real edward. the beautiful, protective, amazing edward, the one i have wanted to come back for me. And he did. but couldnt.
Seth kept running, he knew me too well. i think that was my biggest mistake in life, was letting people to close. If toi let people see you, then they began to know what hurts toi the most. and use it against you. edward knew that, and no matter how much i thought that i knew edward for a time, i still didnt know anything about him, but yet i still loved him. i loved a stranger.
i stared at the gloomy grey clouds, as though the answer to me was somehow hidden up there. hidden up there with god. i wonder if there is a god. Would a god that is so praised create creatures of nightmares along with creatures of peace, like Tanna.
i diddnt know how long seth had been running. Time was endless now, like a path weiving in and out of my life, destroying all habitat and wildlife, but it was the strangers that walked that path that caused the most harm to me. They litter, leave their foot prints in the wet cement and walk all over me. leaving their mark on me everytime. some larger than others.
"bella, we are here" he whispered. he broke the silence. the empty silence. i couldn't force my mouth to make sound, so i jsut responded. i ackwardly steped out his arms and straighted up adn headed down on wet grass. i hope my act of "normal" was ok, wouldnt be doubted, but this was me, of course soo, i dont know i even worry ou try when i just fail anyway. Why try, when toi know your going to lose right? toi only get hurt, what are toi left with? A experience and a memory, however then people try make toi better par saying stupid things like " but toi learn from it, it makes toi stronger!" DO I LOOK STRONGER! DO I LOOK BLOODY STRONGER! I WAS JUST IN THE ARMS OF MY HUSBANDS Friends IN SHOCK!
yeah stronger my ass.
i started walking to my house, i could hear Tanna demand for me, could i even look at my baby now?
before i knew it i fell to wet ground, great my own to feet. again. I was to distracted wollowing in my own self pity that i forgot about my poor excuse of leg and leg cordination.
That was it, i couldn't get up, i diddnt want to. i wanted to lie here forever and ever, until everything was better, fixed, perfect, NORMAL! i felt the tears release over and over. this was the storm. The monsoon, the cyclone, and me being the one being tossed and turned par emotion wreck.
"Bella!!" a velvet voice. sigh. my halucinations are coming back. PERFECT!! WHY WOULD A GOD PUT ME THROUGH THIS!!
" DID I DEFY toi STARS!!!" I screamed. this was my life.
"BELLA!" it repeated. jsut stop. go away! i cnt handle it anymore.