Apart But Not Forgotten Author:
Gwen, mentions of A/G and G/L Rating:
PG-13 Word Count:
978 (this chapter) Warnings:
Set during series 4 episode 10 & 11 Prompt:
She may be gone, but Camelot is still with her. A/N:
This was written for my good pal to cheer her up since she is unwell and sad as well as the square_table challenge on Live Journal.
Also please note: This has only been beta’ed par myself. So all spelling mistakes ou grammatical errors are my fault.
CHAPTER ONE: APART “I don't want to see toi dead, Guinevere.”
And Gwen stands there hoping that he will forgive her, that he will believe her words. That she loves him and that what happened was a mistake -- a huge one, one that she wishes with her whole cœur, coeur that she could change if she could turn back time. She has no idea what made her meet up with Lancelot, what made her Kiss him. For she is in l’amour with Arthur and wants nothing plus than to marry him and have his children.
Gwen can’t believe her ears when he does not believe her, “But I don't want to see you.”
“I cannot look on toi every day. toi will leave Camelot at first light…”
I start to call out “Arthur…” But it’s too late as my l’amour announces his decision. “You return upon pain of death.” Gwen cannot believe it. Though she understands the cœur, coeur break seeing her and Lancelot together caused him, she did not think he would do this. That he would banish her and force her to leave her home, her Friends and family. But most importantly, him.
“No.” She pleads to him. And while he apologises when she asks him where she will go, she cannot stop the uncontrollable sobs, tears that flee her -- leaving the last mur of strength in her to come crashing down. So much so, that there is nothing left to hold her up, so she collapse onto the floor….
Gwen suddenly wakes up -- tears pricking her eyes, her sheets Raiponce around her (no doubt caused par all the tossing and turning) as she tries to regain her breathing. It’s the third night in a row that she has dreamt this – the night her life fell apart. Oddly enough, when she fled Camelot to Merica to stay with a friend of Gaius’s, she did not dream -- but then she rarely slept. Too focused on getting to her destination.
Then she finally arrived at Albert and Frain’s accueil and they welcomed her with open arms – though she did not fully go into the details of why she had left Camelot. For she knew what would happen if they learnt the truth. They would kick her out for she was a whore, an adulterer. Even though she was not married to the King, no doubt people still viewed her that way. So she kept her life in Camelot a secret and instead focused on helping the couple with their farm -- which they appreciated greatly seeing as they were getting on and had no children of their own.
Deciding that it was unlikely that she could go back to sleep -- though it is still dawn -- Gwen gets up, goes to the cuisine area and gets herself a goblet of water. For all of her tossing and turning made her built up some sweat. Then grabbing her châle from the back of the door, Gwen steps outside and finding the outdoor chair she sits upon it.
Gazing up upon sky, Gwen watches the fading stars and moon disappear -- while the sun replaces it slowly rising and sending all sorts of colours to appear on the horizon – orange, pinks, purple and blues light up the sky. Gwen sighs a little dejectedly – for watching the sky always made her think about home, her brother, her Friends – the people she was forced to leave behind. But most of all it makes her think of Arthur and wonder if he is alright ou if he had moved on and married someone else. Though she knows that it was her fault for the way things ended, she cannot stop the nagging little feeling in the back of her mind that is mad at Arthur. Not only him, but also at her Friends and her brother. For they should all know her, know the type of person she is.
For the following days after she was banished gave Gwen time – time to reflect and think over the past few days. It was in this time that Gwen came to a conclusion -- that maybe Lancelot was not all that he seemed and that maybe she was not herself. That maybe she was enchanted. For she remembered the feelings that rose in her the moment Lancelot slipped the bracelet upon her wrist, and though she was too busy at the time crying, she remembered the moment she threw if off in the dungeons. How everything felt much clearer and she had full clarity on what she wanted -- to marry Arthur and that her feelings for Lancelot were gone and left in the past and the world of the ‘what ifs’. She knew that she was Il était une fois and yet she did not know what to do about it.
Hours later, Frain comes out of the house, “Morning my dear!” she greets Gwen warmly. Gwen returns her friendly greeting before Frain informs her that breakfast is ready inside. Following Frain, Gwen returns to the house and sits down to eat. But as soon as she goes to sit down the smell of the chicken unsettles her, causing a huge wave of nausea to hit her. Leaving her no option but to run behind the screen and throw her guts out.
minutes later, Frain appears par the screen with a fresh cloth to wipe her face. “I’m afraid, my dear, there is no use in pretending anymore.” Frain then places her hand gently upon Gwen’s back, softly rubbing circles to help calm her down.
And Gwen knows that she is right. That soon enough she will have to admit to it. For while she may be away from Camelot and everyone she loves there, and be apart from him, she carries an important piece with her. A piece that she will never be apart from.
As always commentaires are ♥ and appreciated!